Being an Adult in 2013

On Monday I met up with an old friend. We knew each other in our teens (met in Moscow) and then I followed her two years later to university. She's awesome and currently lives in New York. We had some wild, fun times back.in.the.day and we learned that no one should ever drink vodka with apple juice and that it is totally possible to meet astronauts in a dodgy bar in Moscow. We had some fun times and I was pretty curious about meeting up again 12 years later. So much time has passed and not in terms of years, but in terms of aging. When you know someone at 19 will you be the same at 32? Well, it was a pretty great night and I was happy to realise that as adults, we hadn't changed that much... And no, we did not drink apple juice and vodka and definitely did not meet any astronauts. But there were Russians sitting beside us at the Irish bar so that's, like, cool.

Last week I wrote about what I imagined my life to be like as an adult when I was a kid. When I was a teenager I had different ideas, similar, but different. I thought of cocktail parties and vacations to Cancun. I thought that if I had kids I'd be the nice version of Gywneth Paltrow or maybe like Gwen Stefani in all her coolness. A little too cool for me, actually. I imagined couples coming over with a bottle of wine and we'd sit around a table and talk politics and give advice about insurance policies and mortgages. In the summers we would hang out in my beautiful garden and make profound statements. Yeah.

When I was 17 I visited my sister and she brought me to a house party. A house party with 25 years olds? We gonna raise da roof!! Holla! Yeah, not in the suburbs. These 25 year olds wore pearls (I dig it) and the men drank scotch and everyone seemed old. I mean, really old. I kind of was disillusioned and thought, of hell no. When I'm 25 I'll be in a vineyard in France making out with Kevin Kline, thankyouverymuch. And so I rebelled against adulthood and ergo got married at 22. I'm not very good at standing my ground. The amount of stores I have boycotted shifts whenever they have a sale. Moral ground? Moral quicksand...

So when I hit 25, I actually was able to stand in a vineyard (Austria), thankyouverymuch, and part of me wondered if it was time to get all mature. I wanted to have kids in a few years and while stumbling home at 1 a.m. singing ABBA was a lot of fun, I felt like it was time to enter adulthood and to entertain and talk about mortgages. Yeah, that phase lasted a couple of weeks.

Now, 7 years later, I realise I have regressed. Sure, I'm more responsible because my 2 year old life form needs watering and feeding, but yet, I still haven't made it to adulthood. Facebook is like an interactive TrapperKeeper. Celebrity gossip sites are my crack and I am more likely to be able to wax on and on about the merits of Tila Tequila being a groundbreaking show on bisexuality. Men? Women? Who cared! But in all honesty, I kind of like the freedom to be me. I don't have to keep up with the Joneses because they don't really exist in Austria... more like keeping up with the Schmidts and if we're talking about the Schmidts in my district, then the only thing I have to compete with are tatoos of skulls on fire or yelling at my dog for making me spill my beer. Uh oh. I'm judging.

Being an adult in 2013 seems a lot less work than it did in the past. I'm pretty grateful that I can store a hundred billion books on my Kindle. I am grateful I can stay connected with friends around the world and I am grateful I can watch reality shows and compare their relationships to mine. I miss you Nick and Jessica, you guys were our litmus test for marriage. That was obviously a mistake.

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