A Key Word Post

I didn't have anything specific to post tonight because nothing terribly exciting happened over the weekend. Which is actually a good thing. That means it was a chillaxed weekend with no need to look up divorce lawyers or boarding schools for toddlers. So, that means that I will write things based on some key words... long story short, lots of short stories. So here we go!

The daycare: This morning was my morning to bring the Kid. By 8 he was in his coat and shoes and I was in my fake fur vest and heels. We headed out and rounded the corner and walked through the front gate. He jumped out of his stroller and headed to the front door. It was locked. I tried a couple times to open it and the Kid started to whine. One of the providers came to the door and explained the daycare was closed for the day. Apparently it was staff development day and someone (the Husband) did not see the signs up last week that they were closed today. I apologized and tried to call the Husband while trying to wrangle our devastated child back into his stroller, in front of the whole staff watching out the window. Yup, we are those parents... bad bad parents.

Ariane Grande: O,K. She's not bad, But I have to admit it... I love "Bang Bang" if that is even the name of the song. I feel like I need to be 22, doing a choreographed dance while walking into a night club in Moscow. Romy and Michele foreva!!

Amazon.com: So a Facebook friend had this posted on her wall by her friend. The comments were highlarious and once again, this type of thing is an important reminder why feminism is still a fight that needs to be fought. Click here for all the hilarity! And stay in school, kids! And please, for the love of God, be a proud feminist!

This is not a costume. This is to be used when you lose a bet with your life partner. A sexy bet. But a bet where he still respects you as an equal.

Sleep training: So yeah. As y'all know, our sleep training was an EPIC disaster. Or was it? Yes, yes it was but actually, something good came out of it. We now have a decent bedtime routine... Well, decent if I am in charge of it. After dinner, the Kid gets put into pyjamas, milk is made and the curtains are drawn. I break out my Kindle and sit on the floor beside his bed and start reading. Usually within 15 minutes he has passed out. Yesterday did not go so well. After a day of him doing very little except watching me eat chocolate bars and me bitching about EVERYTHING (fun fact: Got my period this morning. All makes sense now. No longer hate myself and everybody) he passed out around 3 in the afternoon. He slept for about an hour which meant that at 7, he was still in a party on Wayne mood. At 8 I read to him for about 45 minutes and when that didn't work, I called in the Husband. His method is to lie on the floor beside the Kid until he falls asleep. This is a last resort. I went into the living room and read up on reality TV. After about 20 minutes, I heard the floorboards creak and thought it was the Husband. Nope. It was the Kid, who promptly let out a victory scream for having outlasted the Husband. Siiiiigghhh. He ended up in our bed for the night and as much I know that this shouldn't be the norm, I have to stop and realize that this will not go on forever and in a few years I will be sitting in bed, bawling my eyes out that he doesn't do that anymore... and then the next day I will get my period and all will make sense again... ugh... so hormonal.

Yoga: And for my last key word, I choose Yoga. My friend just put up her website for her yoga courses in Vienna. I highly suggest you check it out and sign up for a class. One day I will join, but as I alluded to on Facebook...I respect her too much to put her through a class teaching me. She will question everything she believes in. She will see things that cannot be unseen. Just ask my Pilates teacher. So here is her site: www.aloveyoga.com/ And actually, if she'll have me, I'll join for a class next month!

And so, I wish you all a great Monday evening! I will spend the rest of it apologizing to the Husband for the words I spoke in hormonal anger. Have a great night!