Friday, 27 May 2016

Dis and Dat and Austen

Happy Saturday Morning! Summer is here! We made it guys! We did it! We didn't succumb to the winter blues. We kept our flip flops by the front door, our strapless industrial strength bras ready for battle and had our self tanner primed and ready. Big high fives, everybody!

It's been a busy week at work and I am so happy to have made it to Saturday morning. It wasn't an epic week but that's ok. Sometimes I need a somewhat civilized week so that I can save all the crazy for another time. In less than three weeks is the Concordia Ball. I continue to work out as much as I can and this morning I tried on my ball dress. I still have a way to go but I am determined to get into that dress as God is my witness. I also finished a 30 day plank challenge with a friend. I made it to 2 minutes straight a couple of times but I hope that eventually I can do that daily. Since my friend and I love a challenge, we have re-started the plank challenge and now have added a squat challenge and we even recruited a couple more people to join. "We'd like to talk to you today about core strength and good asses." We need name tags and short sleeved white shirts. And so we press on.
This morning I sit smelling like self tanner and wearing curlers in my hair. I'm like a chubby Peggy Bundy. I have a photoshoot this morning with a friend and I am trying to mentally lose 15 pounds as I sit at my laptop. A couple of months ago she posted a great deal for head shots (and every time I mention this to Office Twin he mimics my head exploding) and I thought "You can never have enough head shots." So I signed up. Last year the talented Dina Lee took some great photos of me and they proved incredibly helpful for the Science Ball magazine and for convincing people on Facebook I don't know that I can look ok with the right lighting and angle. You never know when some reality TV show scout might be looking for a short, loud, Jewish girl living in Vienna. You just never know. I am incredibly uncomfortable in front of a camera (and behind a camera) so this should be fun.

After my photoshoot, I will head home and hang with the Kid. He was at the In laws yesterday afternoon and they must have made him do manual labour because he has been asleep for close to 12 hours. Yes, he's fine. Angsty Mommy held a mirror under his nose just a few minutes ago. Around 5:30 I will make my way to the Vienna Würstelstand Fish and Ships event on the Danube. I don't do fish but I do chips and I do outside patios and drinks. Afterwards I will head to the Beaver Brewing Company for some more drinks and maybe some food since I will be in the area. I like to take full advantage of my nights out. Tomorrow we will most likely be taking the Kid to the Prater again since last Sunday was such a success. We might even try to go sans stroller but we will see how that goes. I need to look into retractable leashes.

In other good news, I am going to the Canada Day party at the Official Residence! Two years ago I went since I was invited and I brought the Husband as my plus one. It was surreal to be back there after spending time as a teenager there. This time I wore a real bra and drank wine! It was a hilarious evening where I met a great friend and last year I was bummed not to receive an invite. This year, again, I did not receive an invite and I was more bummed (I'm tired and I can't be assed to think of a better word) but a friend came to the rescue and made me his plus one for the party and I am so so excited! Free wine, lovely garden and tarts with lots of red food dye! Woot! Happy Canada Day!

And before I end this random post, I would like to briefly talk about my Jane Austen phase I am going through. Now, I have always loved Jane Austen ever since I was a pre-teen. But I will never forget the first time I watched Sense and Sensibility with a friend back when I was about 15. I was BLOWN AWAY! Forget Hugh Grant, it was all about Alan Rickman. The voice, the longing and adoring looks, the carrying her through the rain because she's a dumbass who should have brought a little sweater with her. I fell for Austen romance and I fell hard. Then I watched that BBC mini series with Colin Firth and I was pretty much screwed. Romance was all and everything I could think about. Men on horses with big houses. Yup. Witty comebacks and walks through the country side. Yup. Strong and able heroines. Yup. Broody yet kind men. Yup. I wanted my love life to be an Austen novel and I wasn't going to settle for less. Hahahaha. Then real life happened. What is it about Austen that makes me turn back into a mushy, romantic, crying hot mess teenage girl? It's magic! On Wednesday night I watched Sense and Sensibility again and I cried. I was on my step machine and I sobbed and it was EVERYTHING! Now, I am a feminist and there is no way I would ever want to live in the 1800s but that small little part of my brain, tucked way behind the part that wants pizza daily, seems to crave Mr. Darcy and Colonel Brandon and the way they look at their beloved... and ok, their real estate doesn't hurt either. Swoooon.

Anyway, it's time for me to try and fix my self tanner (I missed a couple of spots because of course I did) and to choose what I am going to wear this morning. And no, I will not be having a tipple to "loosen up" because I am a good girl... but what I wouldn't do for a mimosa... Happy Saturday!

Sunday, 22 May 2016

Fabric Shopping, A Baby Shower, A Dinner and a Day at the Prater

Hello Sunday evening! I cannot believe how fast this weekend flew by. We finally had fabulous weather and I find that my mood is very dependent on weather. I love stormy days and snowy days, but I have had enough of the cold and we are finally getting the heat. I am looking forward to not shivering every morning as I make my way to work. NO MORE COLD! BRING ON THE HEAT! And the Nair hair removal.

Friday afternoon I left work and headed to a friend's where she was selling beautiful Indian dresses and fabrics. I showed restraint and ended up only buying a dress, sari fabric and a necklace. I am still debating what to make out of the fabric. It is gorgeous and I think it would make an amazing ball dress but I am going to have to practice before I start cutting it up. After my whirlwind shopping trip, I caught the 13A and made my way home. The Kid and I played and he supervised my cupcake baking. I was exhausted and by 9, ready to pass out. The next morning I woke up at 6 and got ready for the baby shower. I cooked, cleaned and around 11 headed to a flower shop near Pilgramgasse. I decided (stupidly), that I would try a bigger chain place thinking it would have more variety and perhaps be cheaper. Again, stupid choice. The woman acted like I had walked into her apartment without knocking going through her drawers being like "You got any snacks?!" I asked for a few different varieties of flowers and when I took about 30 seconds too long to decide, she sighed heavily. I didn't have the energy to say something witty so I just ignored her. She wrapped them up and I brought over two mini rose bushes to the counter and again she sighed. I wanted to be like "Oh, I am so terribly sorry to have to purchase goods in your emporium. How declasse of me." Instead, I just looked at her and sighed loudly back. She just looked at me, unimpressed. Booyah! My sigh wins!

Once I was home, I finished setting the table and cooking and then at 2, it was party time! My friend K.P. is expecting twin girls and I cannot wait to meet them! Baby snuggles!! The Husband was a champ and took the Kid to the park for over three hours and when the Kid came back, he first ignored all the ladies and then snuggled with a couple. Treat em mean, keep em keen. Don't hate the playa, hate the game and so on and so forth. At 5:30, my lovely guests left and I cleaned up quickly, got changed and at 7:30, headed to my favourite der Fuchs und die Trauben. Originally it was planned to have the Therapy Networking Night on Saturday evening but due to some last minute cancellations, I decided to postpone it. The new date is June 9th and it seems that a lot more people will be able to attend which is fantastic! After a taxi ride with a taxi driver asking me "Are you going out to party?" (You might want to get your eyes checked, young grasshopper. I am at least 10 years older than you.) I walked into the familiar and awesome haunt, ordered a pink gin and tonic and enjoyed good conversation and food. At around 10:30, it was time to catch a cab with a friend back to our hood. Originally I had planned to meet a friend for a nightcap but I texted him that I was just too damn tired and by 11:30, I was in bed with a trashy book, barely able to keep my eyes open.

This morning I had the luxury of sleeping in until 8:30. The Kid first woke up at 4 and then fell asleep at 6 again so it was kind of a blessing in disguise. I did put in ear plugs because martyr Mommy I am not. We putzed around in the morning and the Husband went to vote and then to the gym. Just after lunch, we got the Kid dressed, packed too many snacks and made our way to the tram station. The Husband had suggested we try to go to the Prater and to attempt the Lilliputbahn which is a small steam engine that speeds through the Prater forest. I was apprehensive. It has been a long long time since we have attempted a long tram ride and the first time we have done the Lilliputbahn with the Kid. I saw the Husband putting in a small bottle of champagne into the backpack and I was like "What's that for?" and he was like "For you." I told him I would be fine and put it back into the fridge, laughing... kind of dying in the inside, though. At the tram stop we waited for the number 1 tram, told the Kid to get out of his stroller and he happily climbed up the steps. He got the front seat and for 30 minutes, happily looked at the window, looking completely at ease. At our stop we jumped off the tram and walked around the Prater for a little while, enjoying the green. The Kid walked and only once tried to make a run for it which led to me screaming to the Husband "GO AFTER HIM! I CAN'T RUN IN THESE DAMN FLIP FLOPS!" I would totally die the first day on Survivor.

We then decided it was time for the Lilliputbahn. With fear in my heart, we waited on the platform and when the miniature steam engine came into the station, the Kid's face lit up. We got into our seats and he happily sat and waited, while I kept a death grip around his mid-section. A couple minutes later and we were off, chugging through the forest. The Kid loved it! He looked all around him and not once made a peep. He was enthralled. That's when I started to bawl like a Real Housewife. I was so incredibly happy and I just couldn't help myself. The fact that we were doing something as normal as taking the Lilliputbahn was the most amazing thing for me. Oh the ugly crying I did.

We did a full round and when we got off, he was at ease and bounded onto the platform. Since he was in such a great mood, we walked around for about 45 minutes without his stroller and he listened to us as we pointed different paths to take. It was idyllic and just perfectly normal. We headed back to the tram stop and saw that it was about to leave. I grabbed his hand and said "Let's run for it!" and lo and behold, the little bugger ran with me, moving his little legs as fast as he could. And he was running for the tram! The driver saw us and of course took off before we could get on. Thanks, buddy, hope your beer is warm tonight! We sat on the bench and he had a couple of cookies and for 10 minutes just ate and swung his legs until the next tram showed up. The tram ride back was just as tranquil and now we are back home with a very very happy little boy. I cannot described how proud I am of him! It was a huge milestone today and what I hope to been an indicator of a fabulous summer ahead. He has progressed so much this past year and is so much calmer, happier and easier and it makes my heart swell. Not in that bad way that would require medication, though. Now I am currently staring at the screen, waiting for the Austrian presidential election results to come through. It's so close and it is slightly terrifying! Fingers crossed!

The Husband just went to the playground with the Kid for a little bit. We are trying to keep him awake until his bed time and this is the best way to do it. This also gives me a little time to get some yoga in but I am not feeling very zen. I wish you all a fantastic Sunday evening still!

Thursday, 19 May 2016

Melania Trump's Operation Tubetop Make Over: How to Appeal to Us Normies

Now, yesterday I shared an interview with Melania Trump on a friend’s wall. I figured she would appreciate this woman’s lack of awareness, humility and basic common sense. I have been awake since 4 (thanks, Kiddo) and this gave me the chance to re-work Melania’s interview... you know.. make her sound approachable and not like an entitled Fembot, bleeding-virgins-in-the-attic-to- maintain-her-youth kind of gal. In no way is this a political post but more a post about making fun of the over-privileged and the extreme wealthy. I'm a Canadian so I am not telling you who to vote for. I just found this interview to be AMAZING.

Now, don’t get me wrong... I can be a snob. But Melania takes it to a whole new level. So here it is broken down a little. The first paragraph is the actual interview, the second, what she should have said and the third.. .well... what she really meant (in my words).

She doesn’t drink Starbucks: “I don’t drink Starbucks,” she says. You don’t drink coffee? I ask. “I drink coffee, but I don’t drink Starbucks. My son likes it, the what do you call it? The Frappuccino? He likes that.”

Better answer: Starbucks? Oh my son loves it! He loves his Frappuccino

What she really meant: I would not be caught dead in Starbucks. My nanny told me he likes Frappuccino’s. I assume this is a type of popped collar Lacoste shirt.

The Clintons’ wedding gift to the Trumps? “I don’t think they sent a gift. Some people didn’t send gifts.”

Better answer: Oh! It wasn’t about the gifts! We were just blessed to have so many people join us for our very special day.

What she really meant: Bitch Hilary just bought the salt shaker and not the pepper shaker from Williams and Sonoma.

How she’s been misrepresented in the media: “That I’m shy. I’m not shy. I know what I want, and I’m selective.”

Better answer: People think I am shy but really... I like to think before I speak. [Place some old Slovenian proverb here about thinking before answering]

What she really meant: People say that I am a bitch. I am what I am. I like gold... and blood diamonds.

On Chris Matthews’ leering comment about her model-strut: “Unbelievable. That’s what I’m saying! I’m not only a beauty, I’m smart. I have brains. I’m intelligent… I would just say, Men will be men.”

Better answer: I was a model (laughs). I never thought about my walk before.

What she really meant: I AM THE HOTTEST WOMAN ON THE UPPER EAST SIDE! BOW DOWN TO ME PEASANTS! And I laugh when men slap my ass. 

Where she shopped for furniture when she first moved to NYC: “I went to Crate & Barrel. Does that still exist or no?”

Better answer: I went to Crate and Barrel. I will never forget my very first futon. I was so proud to purchase that with my pay cheque. I saved and I saved....

What she really meant: I am disgusted that I ever set foot in there. I wish I could burn it to the ground.

She moved in with Trump before they were married: “When I moved here with my husband, we weren’t married yet—so I kept my apartment.”

Better answer: Meeting him was so special! I loved my apartment but there just wasn’t room for the two of us!

What she really meant: Damn straight I kept that apartment. Gold-digging 101. Keep your apartment just in case... well... until there is a ring on your finger.

Meeting Michael Jackson: “I met Michael Jackson. It was here in New York in the Pierre Hotel. He called us, so we went over and we had dinner. Just after dinner, we were chatting on the sofa and my husband went into another room to see some art somebody wanted to show him. And Michael said to me, ‘Hey, when Trump comes back, let’s start kissing so he will be jealous!’ ” They didn’t kiss, she says, “No, no, no. But we were laughing so hard.”

Better answer: I never met Michael Jackson.


She’s not a famewhore: “I have a life. I go out every day. I bring my son to school. I pick him up. I’m not an attention seeker. I’m not the one who calls paparazzi, ‘I have lunch with the girlfriends, and I’m going to this restaurant.’ I get along [with] the moms at the school pick-up, it’s ‘Hello, how are you?’ But it’s not friends friends. I like quality over quantity.”

Better answer: I’m just like every other mom in America! I meet my friends, do the school drop offs and pick ups. I am blessed to know so many amazing people.

What she really meant: I hate other mothers. I hate mingling with commoners. I hate any woman under 40.

Her 10-year-old son doesn’t sleep on the same floor as his parents: “The third floor is Barron’s. It’s much easier that way. For him as well. He has friends over, he has his toys. He has a play date tomorrow and is bringing two friends over. They come here, they go upstairs and they play. They kick a ball, they play with iPads. I don’t allow Xbox before homework is done.”

Better answer: He is just a regular 10 year old boy (laughs and rolls her eyes in that ‘kids will be kids’ kind of way). He loves to have his friends over to play soccer and video games. The energy on that kid.

What she really meant: Baron needs his own space because if I find anymore silly putty on my imported Italian Versace drapes, I’m sending him to boarding school.

What happens for immigrants, like Melania, who want to come to the US legally: “The law needs to be changed to help those kind of people. But they can’t just sneak in and be here. That’s what I’m saying. I do have sympathy. I’m a very compassionate person. But don’t sneak in and stay here without papers. We need to follow the law. If the law needs to be different, we need to do that.”

Better answer: I am a proud American who immigrated. We need to change our policies to ensure a better process.. to make America strong and to maintain our values of supporting a healthy influx of immigrants. With better integration policies and better acceptance from society as a whole. I should know better than anyone what a struggle it is to immigrate to a new land, to be accepted and to flourish.

What she really meant: Can we wrap this up soon? Rosalita called in sick after her appendix burst and I am livid. This is her second sick day in 10 years.

On Louis CK calling Trump “Hitler”: “We know the truth. He’s not Hitler. He wants to help America. He wants to unite people. They think he doesn’t but he does. Even with the Muslims, it’s temporary… Maybe he needs to say it in a softer way. He doesn’t go after religions. He feels like we need to know who’s coming to this country. If not, we don’t have a country. That’s how he feels. We see how he is, and he wants to unite the country and bring people together and bring jobs back.”

Better answer: I don’t even know how to address such a ridiculous remark (laughs and moves on).

What she really meant: Hitler? No.. Goebbels... well....

On campaigning in Iowa: “It was kind of a fun experience. We stayed in a hotel. It was clean. It was, I think, a Holiday Inn. You do it in a fun way. My husband knows me and how I am. I like beautiful stuff. I live the life. It’s funny when we go and travel. They don’t have five-star hotels there, but you go with it. It was a great experience in Iowa, because we went to an Evangelical church on Sunday. The church we got married in is very different. In Iowa there was a band, there was singing. It was very different, but it was a great experience. Being on the campaign trail and traveling around the country is hard work.”

Better answer: The campaign trail is hard work. You are away from your home and the travelling can be tiring but at the end of the day, I know we are fighting the good fight. It is incredible to meet people from around the States. I will never forget our very special morning at an Evangelical church in Iowa: the singing and the band, it was so warm and lovely!

What she really meant: I had to stay at the effing Holiday Inn. THE HOLIDAY INN?!? I am Melania Trump for eff’s sake! I COULD BUY YOU ALL! I had to bring my own mattress, sheets, hair dresser, dermatologist, stylist and manicurist. It was Hell. I’m itchy just thinking about. OH GOD! DO I HAVE BED BUGS?!?!

Wednesday, 18 May 2016

Just Under a Month to Go and the Kid is a Star

Just under a month to go to fit into my ball dress. The Journalism Ball aka Concordia Ball is on June 17th and for the past week and a half, I have been sticking to my workout regime. I missed a day on Sunday so I had to double up and do it on Monday. I wrote a friend that I was doing this and she was like "You're like Eddie Izzard and his marathons." To which I thought "Totes." but not really. Will I fit into this dress? I think so. Maybe. Perhaps?

The long weekend was a nice weekend. Saturday night I was at a birthday party for a friend at Cafe Leopold. On Sunday I putzed around and then around 6 a friend came by for dinner before we headed out to another birthday party. I usually try and eat before going to parties because even if there is food set out, I will probably forget to eat. It is the only time in my life that I forget to eat so let's not get too excited. Around 7:30, we made our way to our friend's place for her birthday bash. She has a lovely apartment in the 3rd district; overlooking the Donaukanal, with an incredible terrace with a view of the whole city. The spread of food was incredible and the party was busy! I met a couple of lovely women and spent most of the time talking to them and then talking to friends. There was a lot of laughter but by midnight, it was time to head home. I was exhausted after two nights of parties but surprisingly I acted like a mature adult and did not over imbibe. Obviously I must be sick. The next morning I woke up with a start, looked at the time and realized I had slept in until 9:30 which is MADNESS!

The Husband was kind enough to let me sleep in and for all of his thoughtfulness he received a "OMG! WHY DID YOU LET ME SLEEP IN SO LATE?!?! I HAVE SO MUCH TO DO!" I played with the Kid and sent out about 15 e-mails and messages. Speaking of the Kid, this past weekend he was incredible. He was a complete and utter joy. He was goofy, he laughed, he got jokes (ie. pretending to lecture him for trying to break into the kitchen and then leading to him squealing in delight), we also noticed he has added some different sounds to his normal repertoire. The Husband taped it because we couldn't stop laughing. My little boy is going through some incredible developmental jump and we are thrilled. This Sunday we might even try to take him to the Prater (the green area) and then try out the Liliput Bahn. Methinks the Husband just wants an excuse to ride the Liliputbahn again. Let's see how this goes.

Tonight I will be working later and then I will head home to get a work out in and to hopefully catch some reality TV. I should probably not watch reality TV since I have my Beacon Beach House business plan to finish up. The clock is ticking and I need to get on it stat! A friend was kind enough to meet me yesterday to talk through some of it and he had some great suggestions. So so grateful for everybody's help! Now if somebody has 250,000 just lying around, I would be more than happy to take it off your hands. I'd even name one of the therapy rooms after you. And a cocktail! Cough. So that is about it for now. Meeting a friend for dinner tomorrow and then on Friday afternoon a friend is selling Indian clothing and jewelry and I will try and not spend all my monies. On Saturday I am hosting a baby shower and then in the evening, there is the therapy networking night and then afterwards, I will run to der Fuchs und die Trauben (run? I mean take a taxi) for a friend's birthday. I wish you all a fabulous Wednesday!

Sunday, 15 May 2016

I Need an Intern

I have so so so many e-mails to write. So many things to do. And I need to shave my legs. Gah! I wrote on Facebook the other day that I needed an intern and I think the majority of moms thought the same thing. An intern would be awesome but I have a feeling that my intern would end up having to make me daquiris and tell me I am pretty. Still very valuable work, though. I do my best to balance everything and it is difficult. I treasure  the time that I have with the Kid... Well, this morning he discovered a bicycle horn and that was fun. A series of "SQUEEEEEEEEEEEEE" in short and long bursts was the soundtrack this morning. It was like being in a Stanley Kubrick film. Anyway, that horn has disappeared for now. So yes, so much to do. This week at work was also busy and by the end of each day, I felt like a Mombie.

I stretch myself out thin. I field, almost daily, messages from people regarding autism and I have to respond because of course!! I love being able to help out and most of the time, I really can help. Except, I am having a bit of a conundrum regarding one message. I won't go into details but let's just say that I am at a bit of a loss. I'm going to have to really do some research (Google) and come up with a plan. Once things are worked out, I will tell y'all about it. This week ahead is going to be busy again. I have to finish up my business plan, translate my Power Point presentation and try not to drunk dial cheese. We broke up.

Next weekend I am hosting a baby shower and then in the evening will be our first Therapy Networking Night for Autism in Vienna. I am going to try and make this a monthly event because I think it is incredibly important to create a community of competent professionals. Ideally we will have a good mix of specialists and I would also eventually like to have therapists who speak Turkish and Serbo-Croat because I can't even begin to guess what life is like for immigrant families in Vienna dealing with autism. Once the center is up and running, I will be hosting fundraisers so that we can provide subsidized therapy for families that can't afford it. It's what needs to happen and it needs to happen soon. I refuse to let another generation of kids suffer through the lack of support here. I feel like I need a thump-my-chest gif. Here we go. Thanks, Celine! You are the best.

In other news, I continue with my Fit into Ball Dress Challenge. It is going well. I am aiming to do at least 30 minutes of exercise a day and I am halfway through a plank challenge. A friend and I are doing it together and we keep pm'ing each other post-plank with messages like "I think I lost my spleen" or "I cried". We are currently at 2 minutes 30 seconds but we have to break that up into two sessions. I did hit the 2 minute mark but I dry heaved for about 10 minutes after and that was no bueno. But we will continue. After the plank challenge we will start a booty challenge because apparently we love challenges. Like a lot. On Wednesday or was it Thursday (I can't keep the days straight), the Husband was out and I was in a 90's mood and decided to watch a movie from that decade. I got amazing suggestions and then I ignored them all and ended up watching a film that makes me laugh The Heartbreak Kid. It's dumb but for some reason I find it hilarious.

I worked out while watching it and it was nice to have that me-time. Well, me and an enraged Ben Stiller. Last night was Eurovision and I actually missed it. I live-tweeted one of the Semi-Finals on Thursday and it was great to do that again. I have to say that I missed the usual camp of Eurovision. The majority of countries played it safe and that is a pity. I grew up watching Eurovision in the 80's and it always was fun. And last year I had the privilege to cover it for Vienna Würstelstand. But this year I had a birthday party to attend so I missed it. But that's ok because the party was fantastic! The party was hosted by a friend from work at the lovely Cafe Leopold. She rented the winter garden for a large group. There was amazing food and lots and lots of wine and I chatted to my friends, met a couple of new people and just had a fantastic time. By 1, it was time for me to hail a cab and head home. I am running on about 5 hours of sleep because the Kid came running into our bed at 6:30 and he might have bruised one of my ribs but I can't tell because everything hurts (I hate you, Plank). It's crap weather today but that's alright because I need some down time before heading to another birthday party tonight. Why yes, I am acting like an 18 year old on Spring Break. How kind of you to notice.

I owe many people e-mails and I promise you will hear from me in the next couple of days - I am whittling away at the list and where is my damn intern?! I hope you all have a fantastic Sunday. OMG! He found that damn bicycle horn! What the Hell?!? Bye for now!

Tuesday, 10 May 2016

Just Some Dis and Dat!

Sup' Tuesday! It was an early start to the day. I got to work at 7:30 and it was pretty hectic. I am now off work and sitting in Pickwick's treating myself to a Daquiri. Later I am meeting some friends at Columbus Brau for dinner so I need to pace myself. I also am grateful to have a couple of hours to myself and I choose to fill those hours with a cocktail and some blog writing. I wish I had more time to write. I was getting up to about 5 blog posts a week a while ago and right now I am averaging only 3 a week and I do not like that. I do not like that at all. So I am going to try and make more of an effort to write more because even though it is a lot of work, I love it. I love it hard.

My flights and hotel are booked for my Great Big Canada Trip in July. I am going sans Kid and Husband and while I am going to miss them like crazy, I am very much looking forward to seeing my sister and brother and nieces and nephew and my parents. It's been 4 years since I have been to Ottawa and 9 years since I have been to Toronto and I AM SO EXCITED! I arrive July 6th in Toronto in the afternoon, I will check into the fancy schmancy hotel I booked, drop my bags and find the closest L.C.B.O. (liquor store for you non-Ontarians). The last couple of days I have Google Image searched my old favourite haunts and am bummed to note that some of them have closed down. I absolutely adored a place called John's Italian Cafe on Baldwin street. And then there was Big Daddy's which was a New Orleans restaurant and if you have read this blog, you will know that I am OBSESSED with all things Southern. Which reminds me it is time to pick up Midnight in the Garden of Good and Evil again: annual tradition.

So luckily some friends were able to offer some suggestions of places to check out and I am so excited that a couple of friends from University are coming to town so that we can act like we are 19 again... but we aren't... Neither are our livers. But we will die trying. Speaking of alcohol, a friend was kind enough to tell me about the history of Uhudler. Apparently the grapes are originally from the States and I guess they are getting revenge for all the times I made fun of American beer. Well played, chubby raisins, well played. In other news, the rest of the week until the weekend seems to be alcohol-free... until Saturday where I will be attending a birthday party at Museums Quartier at Aloha bar and then Sunday celebrating another birthday at a friend's apartment. Other than that... cold stone sober.

I continue to stick to my #fitintoballdress challenge. It is hardcore (not really. I just like to sound fit and stuff) and I am on day 5 but I am enjoying it. I am not losing pounds quickly but I am losing circumference. I know this because my underwear is making a bid for freedom every time I stand up today and I apologize profusely for that sentence. What is in this DAQUIRI?!?! Anyway, I need to fit into a ball dress I wore a few years ago and I know I fit into it once so I will fit into it again and I hope not to have to break any ribs to make this happen. Last year was my first time at the Concordia Ball and I HAD A BLAST! It is a summer ball and is for journalists. I am obviously not a journalist but I totally would have been allover Clark Kent and would have been besties with Murphy Brown if she didn't scare the crap out of me when I was kid. Last year's theme was "Asia" and I wore a vintage Chinese brooch. No cultural appropriation for this gal! This year is a Spanish theme and I am totally going to get me a fan, wear my Spanish style shawl and wear fake flowers in my hair. All of which will end up lost somewhere in City Hall as I run around exclaiming "I'M A PRINCESS!!" through the Neo-Gothic halls.

And on a slightly more serious note, last night I shared a video of the Kid and his attempt to trick me into giving him a bath. I was very proud because he attempted to say "Bath" and dealt with me saying "no" very well. The reason I share these videos on Facebook and on the Autism in Vienna page is that a) I am a Jewish mother and ergo overshare and b) I want people to know more about my son and what we experience with him. I want to break down taboos in this country when it comes to autism and mental health in children in general. I could not love my child more and while I know we struggle with a lot of things other parents don't, I wouldn't change a thing. So there's that. Anyway it's slowly time for me to head to meet my friends for an evening out. I will be a responsible adult and not make it a late night. I have to get a run in tomorrow and if I miss it, I will wallow in self-pity and start looking on Zalando for stretchy ball dresses. I cannot let that happen. Happy Tuesday!

Sunday, 8 May 2016

Happy Mother's Day and Dis and Dat

There is a wine in Austria that is famous with the locals. It is called Uhudler. To me it is Devil Water. Years ago and Austrian friend brought us a bottle when we were hosting a party. She passed it to me and said "Yeah, you are going to want be careful with this. It makes people do crazy things." and when an Austrian tells me to be careful with wine, then I know to pay attention. That bottle sat in our fridge for 6 months and every time I opened up the fridge door, it was kind of like that scene in Ghostbusters.

One day I decided that it was time to finally try this infamous wine and yeah, Uhudler gonna make you cray cray. I am not sure what magic lies in the grapes but every time I have it, I turn into a Good time Gal! ready to partay. Yesterday I met up with some friends at the Genuss Festival in Stadtpark. I have never been and I was excited to try it out. The weather was spectacular, the company was awesome and I started the afternoon off with weissburgunder. And then, just around 6:30, just before I was planning to leave, somebody bought a bottle of Uhudler. Of course I said "Capital IDEA!" and no, it definitely wasn't a capital idea. I had told the Husband I would be home at 7 and when I texted him that I was going to head home he wrote something magical "Stay as long as you want. All good at home so no need to rush back." And that, my friends, is what we call enabling.

Let's just say I walked in the door at 10:30, full with pizza and a broken sandal and grass in my hair. The Husband could not be prouder. It was one of those fantastic Vienna afternoons that you have know idea how crazy it will get and you meet lovely people and can't stop laughing and once again I proved I wasn't intimidating (you know what I am talking about, buddy). No, I wasn't wild but I was overserved. And I am definitely a little delicate today. The Husband offered me a mimosa earlier and I was like "No. Noooonononononono!"

But much to my delight, I had an amazing surprise waiting for me. The Husband found a ton of pictures of the Kid and me and the Kid and made three ginormous banners with them. They were hung up and I cried. It was the BEST surprise ever! Sure, I like diamonds but this will do. Around 11 we are heading to the In laws for lunch and then this afternoon I am going to go for a run and this can only end well. I will probably run into a wall. I am on day 3 of my Fit Into Ball Dress Challenge for the Concordia Ball in June and I need to keep the momentum going because I don't want to have to do what I did for the Science Ball: make my own dress to hide my shame. Let's do this! Later. Let's do this later.

The past week was pretty crazy. Monday was nutso and on Wednesday I had a finance meeting. It was TOUGH! The guy didn't hold any punches and I truly started to hyperventilate a little. I was relieved when at point he said simply "But I think it is a fantastic idea." So there's that. I have a ton to do these next couple of weeks and I know I will be stressed out but it will be worth it in the end. I am also planning a therapy night for the 21st of May so if you are a therapist or specialist in the field of autism, drop me a line and let me know if you want to attend. The idea behind it is to try and build a strong network of therapists so that we can have a group of specialists with a wide array of experience. I am very excited about this! On June 5th we are also having our very first annual Autism in Vienna picnic in Drasche park. Fingers crossed for a large turnout! I am making cupcakes. And one last thing about Autism in Vienna; we reached 600 likes on Facebook yesterday and that is pretty awesome!  Life is pretty amazing right now. A year ago on Mother's Day I spent the afternoon at Stadthalle, checking out the press hall for Eurovision. It was surreal and I kept hashtagging #mylifeislikewhatrightnow. And to be honest, a year later, life is still pretty surreal. I wish you all a Happy Mother's Day! A shout out to my mom on this Mother's Day, as well! I am also very excited because in July I will be heading to Canada all by myself like a big girl. I will spend 4 nights in a fancy hotel in Toronto and then head to Ottawa to spend some time with my family and I CANNOT WAIT! So onwards and upwards and have a fabulous day!