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Friday, 12 February 2016

The Blues and the Birthday

Apologies for not writing sooner. It has been a busy few days of celebrations and normal life. On Tuesday there was the amazing presentation by Mike Lake! On Wednesday I kvetched about being ignored by other organizations here and then miracle of miracles, one contacted me a couple of hours later. I have an idea of how that happened and it is pretty highlarious. Or tragic. Because I felt so spurned, I decided to go forward with my plans for the center and soon I will have some sessions in finance coaching with the Wirtschafts Agentur. Am I nervous? Yes. Math is just not my thing.

Wednesday was shaping up to be pretty awesome and then I got an e-mail from my father that my uncle had passed. It was a shock and I decided to leave work early. My friend D.K. met me at Cafe Gitarre even though she was sick and snotty because she is good people. I cried and drank wine and over indulged. When the Kid was in the hospital last year and she visited, we said that we had to stop making hospitals our thing and instead "make yachts our thing."

After many glasses of wine, I headed home to relieve the nanny and then I received a text message that friends were at an Indian restaurant and then they were heading to the Louisiana Blues Bar. Not possessing any critical thinking after all that Zweigelt, I texted back that I would head over and I put the Kid to bed and then headed out. Again, probably not my best life decision. I showed up at the restaurant, had a glass of wine and then we climbed into a taxi and headed to the Blues Bar. I ordered Rose and the night just got wilder from there. I made one friend sing because she is from Memphis and in my mind, anybody from Memphis can sing the Blues. At midnight I was wished Happy Birthday and shortly thereafter I realized I had to head home because I had to be at work the next morning at 7:30. Wednesday night Tova was an idiot.

Smelling like a fermenting vineyard, I showed up to work in my fake glasses because I felt they hid my shame. Around 10:30, Office Twin and I were summoned to a friend's office and on the desk was a pile of presents. Presents always make me giddy. Office Twin and I also received the same amount of gifts because sibling rivalry. There was wine, and nail polish and pencils with logos!! Mine read "What would Martha do?" which is my personal life motto and the Office Twin received pencils stamped with "Evil Genius" because that is his personal life motto. We also received awesome paper masks that a friend had made. Office Twin's was a dragon and mine was a unicorn because of course. There was an awesome lemon cake made by a friend and it was all so nice! I just wish I wasn't dying.

Somehow I made it through the day and then I headed into the first district, feeling delicate. I was supposed to meet a friend at 5:30 at a cocktail bar and since I had some time to kill, I headed to one of my favourite places called Cantinetta La Norma. I ordered a margerhita pizza and tried not to keel over. I ended up texting my friend and writing "So like, if we postpone tonight, my liver won't mind." She was understanding and so I paid for my pizza, gathered up my Lush bath bombs and headed home. I took a bath, put on a face mask, had some Sachertorte and by 8:30 I was in bed. Ugh. But it was the best way to end a pretty few fabulous days of my birthday. I received so many incredible messages via e-mail, text and on Facebook. Thank you everybody for your messages! I felt loved!!!

I have decided to be a good girl and stay in this weekend. There was a possibility of attending the IAEA ball but I decided that I should take it easy. Obviously turning 35 has matured me... until next week. I wish you all a fabulous Saturday! I am heading to Bikram soon where I will say good bye to the last of the wine from Wednesday night and then I will do a little food shopping and maybe fabric shopping because after my ball dress success, I feel like a modern day Coco Chanel. This can only end well.

Wednesday, 10 February 2016

The Mike Lake Event

Hello everybody! Boy! Am I exhausted but feeling great. Waking up this morning I kind of had a "pity me" moment. The big event was over and the next thought was "So, what's next? Pottery, perhaps?" I always get like this after a major event: a kind of malaise and melancholy. But it didn't last long. No, I then decided that now is the time to get going. I think part of that stems from the anger and disappointment I am feeling that I have been ignored by a couple of organizations here. I have been reaching out and trying to create a community and I have been shunned. I specifically wrote one organization that we are members of to let them know about last night's event. They never responded. Then Mike Lake's assistant in Canada wrote them around the same time and they immediately responded. And I am, well I am pretty pissed.

So with my anger, I decided to contact the person I have been waiting to hear from about possible funding for the autism center this morning. She wrote back immediately, sent me a form to fill out and now I am waiting for a coaching session about business and finance which will then hopefully lead to getting funding. SO YAAY! Don't poke the beast. I like that my rage propels me to work harder and smarter. I don't think that is healthy, though. So enough about that and onto the fantastic presentation last night. I was stressed. So very stressed. I had no idea how many people were going to attend and I had visions of grabbing random students walking by and being like "Psst. Kid..pssst.. want some candy?" just to fill up the seats.

At 4:45, I arrived at the Technical University and waited nervously. Luckily Mike and his assistant showed up so I knew we were half way there. We stopped first at the office of a professor at the Technical University who is working on a project regarding autism. We met last Fall and he was kind enough to secure us the lecture hall for the presentation. Mike had to make a call so we left him behind and headed to the lecture hall to set up the presentation. I was nervous about turn out and nervous about my speech that I had prepared. At 6, some people started filtering in. I also got some sweary text messages from friends who couldn't find the room. Love my friends. And I totally showed the sweary messages to Mike because ha. ha. At 6:15 we had close to 30 people and that to me was a success in itself. There were a couple of no-shows which was definitely disheartening but I know that life gets in the way. First the professor introduced the project he has been spearheading and then it was my turn to get up and make a speech. And it was TERRIBLE! I decided to wing it last minute and I was just allover the place. After about 30 seconds of talking, I decided enough was enough and I went ahead and introduced the Honourable Mike Lake.

One friend said that when I ended my speech, it looked like my feet had decided to take off with me still talking. Ugh. Face palm. At least I didn't make any inappropriate jokes. Mike got up and started his presentation and it was incredible. It was heartwarming and passionate and he showed videos of his son and I definitely had to hold back tears. He talked about the therapy his son had received as a toddler (36 hours a week. We are at 3, currently. Wow.) and his son's school and different programmes and it was EVERYTHING! I think some of the ladies also thought he wasn't bad to look at either. Yes I wrote that. That's what you guys get for sending me sweary text messages. Ha.Ha. After about 45 minutes, there was a question and answer period. It was amazing to see how engaged everybody was and I have to say that the intimate setting was perfect. I walked away feeling buoyed and more determined to get as much help for my son and the community as I can. And the people trying to ignore me.. yeah. no.

After the event, Mike, a son of his friend and I walked back into the center. I was wearing heels and I managed to keep getting stuck in the cobblestones. I am usually pretty good at this but talking and being hopped up on all the feels were messing with my skillz. We decided to hit up Hawelka again because I have a problem. But don't worry, the grandson wasn't there so no stalking was done that evening.

We ate and I had wine and we talked and at one point Mike called me a pitbull. I think he was saying that because I am tenacious and not because I look like one. That's my story and I am sticking to it. He told me about great organizations abroad and he mentioned that he would most likely be back. I really hope so because I know that next time I would have more time to guilt trip my friends into going. Also, hopefully by that time, I will have set up my center and then I could have the talk there. I am incredibly grateful to Mike Lake for taking the time to give a talk. It meant the world to me and even though there wasn't a huge turn out, it still was a major coup for Autism in Vienna. So besides my new found dread of public speaking, I am chalking this up as a major success.

Now if you have noticed the oddness of the past 4 gifs, I have to tell you that I was dared to use all 4 successfully in a blog post. I now get a free coffee. Booyah, S.R.! Did it! And we now need to talk about your obsession with Tom Hardy. There's obsession...and then there is OBSESSION. I wish you all a fantastic day and evening! And a big thank you to everybody who helped out and attended last night's event. I couldn't have done it without you!

Monday, 8 February 2016

The Kid and The Event Tomorrow

Hello Monday night! I am hopped up on adrenaline because tomorrow is the big day! I am getting more and more RSVP's for Mike Lake's presentation and that is making me very very happy! This afternoon at work, I made my way to Cafe Hawelka for a meeting with Mike Lake and his lovely assistant. Of course I have been stalking the Hawelka owner for the past couple of months and this time I was a little embarrassed to walk in alone. I grabbed the first table I could find and ordered an espresso and avoided making eye contact with the owner. I won't lie, I was a little nervous about the meeting. I don't always make a great impression the first time I meet somebody. I either make an incredibly inappropriate joke or say something obnoxious.

And this was an important meeting today. At 5, Mr. Lake and his assistant showed up and I was already hopped up on caffeine. As is normal with Canadians, we small talked and ordered and it was nice. I also pointed out the guy I am stalking to the other woman and now he has another devotee. Perfect ice breaker, my friends. After about 10 minutes, we moved into Autism territory and talked about the presentation tomorrow evening. Mike Lake is absolutely lovely and he is such a tireless advocate for autism awareness. I told him about my own experiences here and how I was judged as a mother and told to quit my job and told to re-birth my son and so on and so forth. He was shocked and then I said "And maybe I shouldn't have had that bottle of gin in the bath when I was pregnant." and then there was awkward silence because Tova the Inappropriate had shown up. Ugh. Shut up, woman. I assured him I was joking and then we moved on. With some side eye.

In the end it was a lovely talk. I left the meeting with a spring in my step and met my friend D.K. for a quick drink. I then ran home, put the Kid to bed and now I have spent the last 2 hours sending e-mails and working on my speech.... and my outfit for tomorrow. So once again, come on by to this amazing event if you can! It will be AMAZING!!

Speaking of the Kid. This morning we had a meeting at the daycare. We are much more relaxed about these meetings because we love this daycare. But we still have post traumatic stress from our time at the old daycare. We showed up at the daycare, dropped the Kid off in another classroom and met with his two main providers. We love his main provider who has shown such dedication in making the Kid comfortable and for keeping us in the loop. She started off by thanking us for doing as much as we do and we thanked her for doing the same. The other provider (who has been off work for the past 5 months) told us that she was amazed at the progress he has made. They have noticed he is so much more aware, follows instructions and is just such a happy little boy. I teared up and told them how happy he is to come to kindergarten every morning and then they teared up. The Husband and I have noticed how he has re-discovered the word "Nein" and it is exciting and also hilarious. Just yesterday the Husband walked into the kitchen and the Kid was trying to get into the dishwasher. The Husband told him off and then the Kid stood in the middle of the kitchen and yelled back at the Husband "NEIN!" We both laughed but tried not to. We laughed because it was hilarious but also because we were so proud that he said the word in context. I also asked the Kid to get me the butter from the fridge and he totally did it. My little boy is doing so well and I am so happy!!! Sure, there will be more and more hurdles but these little moments are the fuel I need to keep going.

So now I have to finish my speech for tomorrow. I have also removed my neon pink nail polish and will put some curlers in my hair. I have to be at work tomorrow at 7:30 and then in the afternoon I will head to the Technical University. I am excited and a little terrified but this is a big deal and I could not be happier that this is happening. So if you are in Vienna, please come on by. I also want to thank my friends for sharing the event, excited to featured in the Science Ball magazine and to my buds at Vienna W├╝rstelstand for plugging it. Nighty night my dear friends. Life is looking pretty fabulous right now!!

Sunday, 7 February 2016

Birthday Party Hi-Jinks

Fun fun night! I feel like I have morphed into Paris Hilton these past couple of weekends. Late nights and fabulous events. But now the madness is over and I can focus on less drinking and dancing and more fiber and early nights. This week ahead is exciting. On Tuesday is the awesome evening with the Honourable Mike Lake. I still haven't written my speech but at least the location is secured, people are slowly RSVP'ing and no matter what, it will be an inspiring evening. I have sent lots and lots of e-mails. I am little ticked because I believe one organization thinks I am stepping on their toes and I find that pretty ridiculous, quite frankly. This isn't about ego, this is about creating a community, working towards government support for therapy and spreading awareness. We need to all work together and GAH! I don't want to get ranty after such a fabulous night.

Deep breath. Moving on. So about last night...

Office Twin and I decided a few weeks ago to have a joint birthday party. Well, it was more like:

Me: Office Twin!
OT: WHAT?!!?
Me: YOU KNOW WHAT WE SHOULD DO?!
OT: Oh no.
Me: No, you will like this idea! I promise!! Let's have a joint birthday party!!!
OT: Ummmm.

So yes, he was totally on board. Thanks to a friend who last year was looking for a location for her Not Going Away Party, I was able to book a great little place in the 4th. It is called Wohlleben and looks like a Beisl. You can get the place for free as long as your guests spend 450 euros. DEAL! I booked it a few weeks ago and the theme (after many many discussions) was decided. We went for the Communist Party of Kovastan Party. Kovastan is our made up country. We still can't decide on a national dish so the possibility of us actually creating a country is pretty low. I did say that broccoli was banned so we do have an embargo already. Yay! Halfway there. Since I have been incredibly busy, I didn't have time to make decorations (I know, I am disappointed in myself, too). But I figured that with enough drinks, decent music and dark lighting, the party would be a success.

Yesterday I spent the afternoon baking a cake. I hate baking. I hate it with the passion of a thousand suns. And I am terrible at following recipes. I like to just throw ingredients together and hope for the best. I was mentioning that last night and one friend was getting twitchy. He was like "Baking is a SCIENCE! How do you not follow the recipe?!?!" and I just shrugged. For some reason, it always works out and I know that real bakers want to smash their heads against a wall when I say I just kind of wing it. The hardest part about yesterday's cake was making grey icing out of 4 primary colours. There was a lot of swearing and my fingers looked like I had murdered a group of Teletubbies by the end of it. But I am happy with the end result and next time I need to add a third layer because there was not enough cake for everybody. I apologize!


I showed up at 7 with the cake and greeted the bartender. I was RELIEVED that there was not a mix up and that the party was going ahead (little known fact: I stress a lot just before a party starts. A LOT). Office Twin told me he was going to be 15 minutes late and I may or may not have texted him that I was going to hurt him. I started on the playlist (the location has a choice of 69,000 songs. I know) and made sure to put my favourite songs on. Office Twin came running in, out of breath because he knows how I feel about tardiness. We arranged the chairs and tables, made some space for dancing, and figured out the lighting. Dark on the dance floor. Must always be dark. The Office Twin started working on the playlist and deleted the one I had worked on, accidentally.

8 p.m. rolled around and the Husband showed up as our first guest. Our babysitter could only stay for a couple of hours but I was happy he could come. Soon the flow of peeps happened and it was so great to see so many familiar faces. Drinks were ordered, the music started and I jumped around, dropping by briefly to see friends. That's the one drawback of large parties, I don't get a chance to talk to people for a long time. Around 10, Office Twin's friends showed up and suddenly it was packed! Nobody was dancing yet but I knew that come midnight, the dancing would start. It always does.

Around 11, it was cake time. A friend was kind enough to light the candles and bring it into the main room and people sang happy birthday to us and then it was time to blow out the candles and I totally beat Office Twin at that. I'm kind of a jerk. My wish is so going to come true. Midnight rolled around and yes, the dancing slowly started. AND THEN IT WAS ON! My friends and Office Twin's friends formed a circle and we Daft Punked and Beyonced and it was everything! One friend was challenged to a dance off and at one point she did the splits! IT WAS INCREDIBLE! There were mental fist bumps all around. I think I danced for close to 4 hours and today I hurt. Luckily the hurt is not alcohol based but rather based on the fact that I feel like I was an extra on Fame. My poor poor feet.

At one point I was dancing and tried to copy a move of one of Office Twin's friends and I grunted and said "I am too old for this!" and he said "I am older than you." and I laughed and said "No, I am pretty sure you aren't." and then he said "I am 38." and then I exclaimed "Oh YAY! You are!!" Best birthday gift ever. Speaking of gifts, people totally ignored my "Gifts are not expected but compliments are required." memo. So I accept the awesome gifts with quiet stoicism. But thank you, twas awesome!! Around 2 I asked the bartender what time we would be thrown out and he said "4". Holy crap, Europe! So we partied until 4 and then it was time to head home. I asked an Austrian to call a taxi for me because it was late and my German had disappeared by then. I said good night to the last of the guests, climbed into the cab and headed home. I took off my tiara (yes, I wore a tiara) and my kaftan ball gown (yes, I wore a kaftan ball gown), washed off the last of my make up and then crawled into bed, dreaming of Taylor Swift.

The Kid woke me up around 9 so I am currently going on about 4 hours of sleep. I actually feel o.k. and I think a lot of that has to do with the fact that I am in a fantastic mood. It was a great night; I have awesome friends who accept my crazy ass. I have sadly lost some friends along the way. Life gets in the way and having a child with autism has changed everything. I try my best to maintain friendships but sometimes I let people down without meaning to and for that I am sorry. As I hurtle towards my 35th birthday on Thursday, I am starting to re-assess some things. I have been a people pleaser for so long and this past year, I have been trying to stop the madness. And there have been some casualties.... sadly. Sure, I will continue to live for praise, but I have to stop being stretched so thin. So this is just a long way to say thank you to the peeps for sticking with me during this crazy ride called "life". It takes a village to raise the Tova. So thank you friends and family for all of your support! Now I will snuggle with the Kid and refrain from eating leftover pink frosting. Ciao!

Friday, 5 February 2016

The Opernball 2016 and Almost the Weekend

Last night was Vienna's 60th Opernball. I talk about it every year and kvetch that I haven't been invited. Of course I could just woman up and buy a ticket but that would just be too reasonable. I decided to Tweet from my sofa about the opening because I find myself very amusing. I also knew that very few people would be reading along save for some awesome friends. So I started the night with a couple of Tweets, building up the suspense. (The Husband sat on the other sofa and ate a Magnum ice cream)


And then I made some commentary about the red carpet


And then I fangirled a little


Some rules about the Opernball


And then I got a little impatient because this red carpet wasn't very exciting


A little constructive criticism for the interviewers. Ammirite?


A little snark. I immediately felt bad. Kind of.

And then made a political funny because I am so witty.

I also made a funny pun, in my opinion


And then the ceremony started. And PLACIDO!!


AND MORE PLACIDO!!

And then I made this idiotic tweet that I immediately regretted the minute I pressed "tweet:


Thanks to a friend, I now know that this WAS POSTED ON THE ORF LIVE TICKER!!! WHY?!?! I am so glad I went to private schools because this Tweet seriously highlights my class and sophistication. Why this one? WHY?!


You could have used this one:

Or even this highlarious (only in my opinion) one:


Or caused a little (fancy) gang warfare between the Science ball and the Opernball

GAH! Of course this happened. But that's ok, I got like 5 new followers yesterday so I didn't really make a social media splash. BUT STILL! Of all the Tweets you could have used, ORF, the Pavarotti one is the one you chose. Awesome. Large sigh.

I ended up going to bed just after 11 and dreamed dreams of tiaras and tulle. But life isn't boring because after work today, I will be meeting a friend for a drink. And then afterwards I will be going out for dinner for a friend's birthday. On Saturday is the partay and I have not done any decorations which is SO OUT OF character for me. But there will be a cake; maybe homemade, maybe bought. The pressure is on!

I wish you all a fabulous Friday! Ta ta!


Wednesday, 3 February 2016

Just Some Dis and Dat

Yay! Hump Day almost over! The Kid is tucked into bed, asleep and dreaming of laundry baskets. This is his favourite thing ever. The other night, I went in to check on him and he had pulled his basket into his bed and had fallen asleep in it. I think it makes him feel safe and yes, he is part cat. Maybe for his birthday I will buy him a new one because his current one is one its last legs.

I am going to have another early night tonight. I need to save up my energy and get ready for the next few days. But I will not fall asleep immediately because I am currently hooked on Confessions of a Sociopath. My friend D.K. suggested I read it and as I read the first chapter I started to wonder if she had recommended me to read it much like someone passive aggressively gives an etiquette book to a Bridezilla. But alas, as I finished the first chapter I realized that I am not a sociopath. Which never really had crossed my mind but, whoah! this book is terrifying.

It is written by a diagnosed sociopath who remains anonymous and has a seemingly normal life besides the fact that she is a SOCIOPATH! This is quite a terrifying read and as I get deeper into the book, I am doing some additional research. According to one site, these are some of the traits of a sociopath: (my comments in red)

Lack of empathy: Nope. I have constant Weltschmerz
Cold, calculating nature: I am always overheated and calculations? I suck at math..and chess
Shallow emotions: Hahahahaha! TOO MANY EMOTIONS! You should see how I react to not having anymore coffee in the house. Or any and all movie trailers ever.
Narcissism: Did you read any of my previous blog posts? I describe my look as "Looks like I ate myself"
Charming: Well... I will give you that.
High IQ: I thought carrots grew on trees until recently
Manipulative: How I act in my marriage doesn't count! Stop judging me!!
Secretive: Hahahaha! Have you read this blog? Open book, my friends. 
Sexually deviant: Um..nope. No time for that!
Sensitive to criticism: Aren't we all?
Paranoid: No. Too busy to think someone is out to get me.. Actually, now reading this book this actually could be true.
Despotic/Authoritarian: Again, how I act in my marriage doesn't count!!
Low tolerance for boredom: Dammit! Wait! Am I sociopath? No. Hey look! Chocolate!
Impulsive behavior: Not really. Unless I have had champagne and somebody dares me to do something. 
Compulsive lying: I am actually a pretty terrible liar. Except about my weight. And height. And age. And hair colour.  

There are some more traits but they require more explanation and I am tired but I am pretty sure, I am just fine. So never fear, dear friends, you are and I am not a sociopath so we can all, like, hangout and stuff. Unless you are a sociopath and you have been hiding it very well and in that case, I will sleep with pepper spray under my pillow and will watch my back. WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO ME, D.K.?!?!

Moving on... This morning, I decided to change up mah look. I put on my fake glasses and put my hair up in a messy bun and headed to work. I was teased mercilessly by one friend for wearing fake glasses. To quote her she said "I spent 5,000 euros on laser eye surgery to NOT wear glasses." When Office Twin showed up he saw me in the hallway and exclaimed "WHAT IS ON YOUR FACE?!" and then said "You look like Velma!" You are dead to me, Office Twin! DEAD! (and I am joking because I am not a sociopath. I swear!) (Um, and by the way, Internet, what is with all the Velma porn? Is this a thing?)

So just under a week to go and then it is the awesome evening with the Honourable Mike Lake. It is gaining speed and I have sent close to 20 e-mails this afternoon/evening to try and spread the word. Friends have also been super awesome in sharing the event on Facebook and reaching out to media sources. I know that the presentation will be a huge coup for Autism in Vienna in terms of awareness so fingers crossed we get at least 100 people in the lecture hall! I am going to just be as positive as I can be about this!

I just finished my third day of filling out my food diary. It is pretty crazy how it keeps me accountable. I can't lie to the book so it is easier to just not eat something crappy rather than have to enter it in ink to see my shame for all of eternity. So yay to my food diary! After work tomorrow I will going Spinning because on Friday I am going out for pizza for a friend's birthday. And I dread writing "SOO MUCH PIZZA!" in my judgmental food diary.

This evening a friend PM'd me about the birthday party on Saturday. He asked "How 'open' will your party be?' and I responded with "Why? Are you planning on not wearing pants?" Heh. I'm witty without wine which assures me that I am not an alcoholic OR a sociopath! Good news, everybody!! Anyway, I wish you all a great night! It's time for me to send off a couple more e-mails and then crawl into bed to read that curazy book. Sleep tight!

Tuesday, 2 February 2016

Next Couple of Projects

Oh boy am I still tired. Saturday night, you know that night I acted like Lindsay Lohan? Yeah, that took it out of me. I figured that after the ball, things would be a little calmer and I now realize I was wrong so very very wrong. I love being busy but even this madness is making me a little snappy and emotional. On Sunday I consumed my weight in pizza and I made the Husband answer the door when the delivery guy came because shame. I am back to veganing for the most part and a friend and I decided to start food diaries. It's time to stop the madness and get back to better eating and less hating myself.

The thing that is so frustrating is that the way I internally talk to myself is ridiculous and I know that. I read an interesting quote the other day that somebody posted that I am paraphrasing now because I can't be assed to look it up and it is something like "If anybody talked to my kids the way I talk to myself, I would kill them." And I found that pretty amazing. And mind blowing. Will this stop me from constantly belittling myself? No. Of course not. Rome wasn't built in a day.


Yesterday I was EXHAUSTED. And I went into a bit of a panic in the afternoon because I had a week to find a location for the presentation of the Honourable Mike Lake. Some peeps had wonderful suggestions for a location and then I received an e-mail from someone I met back in the Fall and we have a fantastic place now! WOOT! There are a few things to do to prep for this event and if you are in Vienna and interested in hearing this great guy talk, please sign up on Facebook or drop me a message. I can guarantee this will be an eye opening and inspirational night. I also have to write a speech and I am having a very hard time not adding verbal hashtags and inappropriate humour.

So excited! Moving on... After work I headed to Hot Yoga because pizza. I had a class with Bine who I haven't seen in over a year. Oh, she remembered me. About 25 minutes into the class she told me to smile and then said "I hope you don't write anything mean about me!" and I shook my head "no" and then she announced to the class that my blog was hilarious and that everybody should check out Operation Tubetop. Now, I love getting attention for this blog and for my food and for... well... not sure what else. But when I get attention from 30 people while I am schwitzing and bright red and I have forgotten to take off my mascara before class and I am resembling that girl from Orphan... I want to die a little.

It was incredibly sweet of her to mention it, I just wish I wasn't surrounded by pools of sweat. In a few days is the bday party. I still haven't figured out the cake situation so there might be a lot of swearing Saturday morning in the household. Office Twin and I have to make a playlist the hour before the party starts so there might be a lot of swearing Saturday evening in the bar. Presents are definitely not required! I just want to be able to have a great time with friends and drink cheap gin and tonics just like the prophecy said. Heh.

Tonight the Husband is out so I will be sitting on the sofa and reading comments on celebrity blogs. I should actually be getting some writing work done but the lure of the Interwebs will be strong tonight. And so, the last little story topic of the day is... the Kid. While he still isn't speaking we have discovered a new emotion: offense. He was having some, how you say, digestive issues on Sunday. He was doing a funny move and I laughed at him because I am a terrible person. He stopped what he was doing and looked me straight in the eyes and looked like I had just insulted him. Which made me laugh even more and now I will have to pay for more therapy for him when he is older. It was such a withering stare and while that should never be cause for joy, it kind of was. He knew I was being a jackass and was able to show that he was offended. This was kind of a big deal... and also a sign that I am a jerk. Poor Kid.. but yay, Kid!

So with that, I wish you all a pleasant evening! Tchuss baba!