Operation Tubetop

I am veddy veddy tired this morning. Around 2 a.m. the Kid decided to put on, what I believe to be, A Chorus Line for about 2 hours, with intermissions. So veddy tired. Of course we had to wake him up this morning and that was a joy. Pampers commercials lie. No kid wakes up looking and acting like that. When we have to wake him up, it is like waking up a rabid raccoon. It was a nice weekend. A quiet weekend. I stayed home Saturday night when I was supposed to go out for a girls' night but I confused dates and the Husband was meeting a friend who was in town for ONE NIGHT ONLY! Sigh, I crocheted. Sunday was cleaning day and playground day and making more Halloween crafts. October 7th - mark your calendars - I am decorating! Since my vision is more of a vintagey, classier, Martha Halloween, I have a lot of thinking to do and some more fabric to buy. I kind of feel re-generated with the new look I am going for and cannot wait to see it come together. The bathroom and toilet will ...

Yesterday we travelled to a magical land far far away. A land where the air smells of meatballs, paper lamps line your way and friendly bookshelves greet you as you pass. 2 euro corkscrews sparkle in the sun and bowls as large as your head whisper in excited voices. A land so magical that you can't just "buy one" thing but rather purchase napkins for pennies and toilet brushes for 99 cents. It is truly a magical place. This magical land called Ikea. The mother in law watched the Kid yesterday for a few hours so that the Husband and I could go. Boy did we have a blast! Something that would have been pain inducing before child was an exciting outing for us. We were like a new couple, holding hands and admiring kitchen set ups. I carried the large yellow bag and threw in stuff just because I could. I was smitten. The true reason we went to Ikea was to look at the bed of my dreams. We found it and I fell more in love. The Husband exclaimed "It's so big!" and...

Yay! Friday! This week was far superior to last week. The Kid was great. I believe that the term the daycare is looking for once again is "phase". I picked him up yesterday and we had a grand ole time. I am very much looking forward to the weekend. And cannot wait to just chill again. I went on the scale this morning and I have not lost weight. Well la di frickin la. Am I upset? A teeny tiny bit but to be honest I don't really care after this week. This week has had lots of wins: - Made chocolate chip cookies and did not even have one (Big WIN) - Bought bagel chips for the Kid and was able to avoid temptation (Another Big WIN) - I feel pretty awesome in fact. My energy levels are so much higher and I've been in a pretty good mood. --- No sugar/carb crash in the afternoons - Went to the gym 3 times this week - Took the Kid to daycare 3 times this week which involves 10 minutes of uphill walking pushing a 30 pound kid in a stroller. Then carrying him up 2 flights ...

Throwback Thursday! Holla! Nostalgia sets in ever more the ever you age. There are so many amazing blogs out there that show us a blast from the past and your heart strings are tugged when you think back to those times when days seemed to stretch on for ever and you could spend hours in your room playing. Back in the mid to late 80's, She Ra burst onto the scene. I have no idea how I even found out about her at the time because we were living in Germany and the only shows available in English were Coronation Street and Postman Pat. Somehow my super spidey senses found out about She Ra and her gang and I went gaga! My first figurine was She Ra. Oh how I loved her. It didn't matter that she had the oddest body shape or that her outfit was not exactly like the cartoon. She was mine and she totally dated Ken. The only thing that annoyed me was her stupid crown. Look down, now look up. How in God's name did that crown match the cartoon? The makers must have been on crack. ...

The other week I wrote about being a good wife in my world. Today I thought I would write about being a good husband in my world. No marriage is perfect and if it is I say LIES LIES LIES! I jest. Kind of. I guess I can be kind of obnoxious posting about how wonderful the Husband is... blah blah blah. I think he's great most of the time and then there are times that I want to scream. The great times are 98%, the bad times are 2%. I think those figures are good. I write how great he is so that I can use the power of positive thinking. Were I to just focus on the bad, more bad would come my way. That's my story and I am sticking to it. Being a good husband is pretty much like being a good wife. For me, the important things are respect, compliments and showing love oh, and, presents!!! I will get to that later.. Compliments: Compliment the lady, gentlemen. She makes you a nice dinner, you thank her. She looks great on her way to work, tell her. She makes some stupid craft that ...

Back in March, the Husband and I enjoyed an amazing night at the Bristol. It was a gift from my parents and probably the most amazing thing about that night was that we got a complimentary upgrade. We laughed, we danced and then I stopped and said in a serious tone to the Husband "It's cause we dressed rich an you know it." And then I danced some more and drank Moet Chandon straight from the bottle. I have class and you know it. Dressing rich is not that hard and doesn't have to cost that much. Now I am not talking about Kardashian rich (that money is the money of Satan), I am talking old school money, country clubs and drinking scotch. Here are some tips to how you can dress to look rich for different occasions (please note that this is in no way making fun of rich people, poor people or any people. This is based on observations on my part and the deep seated desperation of wanting to be a rich WASP from the East Coast. Pick me!). Dressing old school money pretty m...

This morning we were supposed to have our meeting with the daycare. Unfortunately the woman we were supposed to meet with is dealing with her mother dying. I feel really terrible for her. I will make cupcakes and a card for her. When someone is dealing with something at that level, your own problems seem pretty petty in comparison. So my public service announcement today is: love thy people in your life. If you find yourself hating someone, stop. It isn't worth it. I don't really hate anyone, it is exhausting. The end. In other news, I went to the gym this morning. For the last couple of months, on random days, a guy stands outside of the gym smoking. He is Chinese, usually wears jeans and a windbreaker and just stands there staring out at the street. He never looks at me when I exit. Well, this morning, the guy was wearing a suit. I mean a really really nice suit. Perfectly tailored, polished shoes. Has he been promoted in his street watching? I am intrigued. And I am now go...

So this is my menu for this week. More low carbing! During the days I eat some cheese and usually leftovers from the night before! So these are just the dinners planned! Monday: Scrambled eggs and guacamole (Some toast for the Husband on the side) Tuesday: The Husband is out so I am making low carb mac and cheese with shiritake noodles that are made of yam and are low low carb. And a salad. Wednesday: I'm out so it will depend what the bar offers. Thursday: Green chile chicken enchiladas (instead of flour tortillas, I shred zucchini, mix with an egg and some cheese and then bake. They are faux wraps and taste alright) Friday: Steak in a red wine reduction sauce served on top of grilled chevre and served with crispy green beans and aiolo (will post the recipe on Friday) Saturday: Chile in the crockpot (sans beans) with a side salad Sunday: McDonald cheeseburgers sans buns Come on weight loss!

A couple of days ago I was walking along the street. On a wall there was graffiti that read "Free Dabi". And I thought, I want free Dabi! What is free Dabi? Where can I find this free Dabi? Is free Dabi low carb? I don't care, I want free Dabi! And before I went into complete hysterics about free shit, I spied some more graffiti. This was one read "Free Daib". Oh, so I'm guessing that Dabi/Daib is incarcerated and his lovely dyslexic friends are trying to protest. Well that's a let down (I have changed the first letter of the name because maybe Dabi/Daib's will come after me and cut me for making fun of their lack of knowing how to spell their friend's name). It is Monday morning and that's ok. I don't have a problem with Mondays, Tuesdays piss me off though (long explanation required and ain't nobody got time for that this morning). It will be a busy week spent making more decorations, ordering more decorations online, hiding credi...

The Halloween party is 5 weeks away and I have a lot to do to prep. I already have boxes of decorations, but I have decided to take a different route this year. Every year I put up plasticky scene setters and they look fun but I am a little tired of them. Also, they be a pain in da tuckus to put up and I have a feeling that the Kid is going to tear them down. I also want to make this year a little classier and dare I say, authentic? I want the place to be more home like, like a home in Hell. So the plan is to switch out our normal decor and switch it up with Halloween stuff. i.e. Normal pillows - now covered in Halloween pillowcases. Normal salt and pepper shakers - now Halloween salt and pepper shakers. Normal tea towels - now Halloween tea towels. I think you get the idea. The place will still be macabre, but as I said before, It will be classy death meets Martha Stewart with a pinch of Addams Family. Heyo! And here are two crafts I worked on this weekend. First, Halloweeny tea...

Woke up early to give myself a little me-time. Going to be a chilled weekend; some Halloween shopping and a little window shopping (need to buy new boots, currently in the scouting stage). There will be Fall walks and cozy sweaters and hopefully a non-tantruming child. It has been a week of random freak outs on his part and I hope it just a phase... sigh. must.break.his.spirit Today I will be buying knee-high socks at a store name Tchibo (if you live in Austria or Germany, you should learn to respect the awesomeness of Tchibo/Eduscho). I love knee high socks. I feel all Cher Horowitz when I wear them. And then I look in the mirror and think I "could be a farmer in those clothes" (I loved you Brittany Murphy!!!) Anyway... It is that awesome time of month where my hormones hold me hostage and pants with buttons seem like an epic challenge. Even though I know when the time is coming, I am also fairly suprised. Two days before, I act like a wreck, switching between the HAPPIE...

Oh praise da lord it is Friday! What an emotional week! Words cannot even describe how happy I am that the weekend is coming up! Woot woot! Worst part of the week : Well, you know, daycare issues... again Getting a booster shot for the Kid Best part of the week : Watching a dear friend perform on stage, she did great! Getting incredible love and feedback from so many people! Losing 4 pounds! Stats : 4 pounds lost 3 times at the gym I have been low carbing for just over a week and I have lost 4 pounds. I feel pretty great in general and the weight loss helps. I thought that I would post the recipe I made last night... so good, like so so good. Thai Curry Ground Beef 1 pound ground beef Lemon grass Thai lime leaf Coconut milk (just a can) Sesame oil (just a couple of drops) Fish sauce (just a couple of drops) Soy sauce (just a few dashes) Crushed garlic Thai red curry in the package Half a cup of water Brown the beef, then add all the above and let it simmer...

Last night was not a good night. The nanny told us the daycare is having issues once again with the Kid. Gah! This morning we took him to the doctor for a booster and he, well, let's just say, the doctor said he is one of the most "active" patients he has ever had. Not a good week. The Husband has taken the morning off to hang out with the Kid and we have sadly cancelled our date night. Sacrifices, my friends, sacrifices. But that is all I want to talk about this terrible time at this time because I will turn once again into a blubbering mess and this mascara ain't waterproof. So onto happier times! HUZZAH! Oh, and quickly, I am so super grateful for the private messages yesterday of support and love... And of course the incredible feedback on this blog. This is so much cheaper than therapy and the end goal is to one day become a real writer and have a chubby Leelee Sobieski play me in a Hallmark movie. But a happy Hallmark movie that involves talking reindeer and/o...

In my twenties I was pretty jealous. I'm not talking about love jealousy... The Husband knows I would cut him if he strayed and well, one can be jealous all they like but that does not stop the other person from straying. I prefer to keep my list of neuroses manageable. I am talking about the jealousy of other people's good fortune. Friend got a new purse/ hot boyfriend/ great apartment/ great job - I was all "that is not fair!!!" and I would stamp my foot like the mature adult I was. I truly believed the universe was gifting people at random and that hard work had nothing to do with getting great things. "So what if she worked 14 hour days as an intern, while studying every night! It's not fair she got that incredible job!!!". The jealousy was pretty all consuming and I truly hated myself for it. So I came up with a plan, wait for it, to just stop being jealous. BRILLIANT! And you know what, it worked. Whenever someone tells me a story of their friend...

Hi my name is T and I'm a carboholic. I have been one since I discovered all things bread years ago. I can eat 10 bagels in one sitting and then an hour later, hate myself. I feel like I have hit rock bottom and now I am here. Last week I wrote a huzzah love me for me and forget about my weight blog post ,  and then I felt all empowered and downed half a bag of Bugles and ordered pizza. And then I felt bad. And so I took some time, and sat down, and thought and thought and realised that yes, I am a carboholic. My waistline has suffered horribly the past few months. I've been dressing like Leah Remini on King of Queens that season after she had her baby (in real life). There were a lot of ponchos worn. Luckily I own a lot of ponchos. But I am done. I am done with the "carb malaise", the lack of energy and the hating myself every time I put on a pair of pants that fit last year. The war of the button and button hole is being fought and nobody wins. And so, after so lo...

It was one of those awesome weekends. Friday we chilled and ate takeout and watched TV. Saturday morning I was all smug in the rain in my awesome new boots and oversized serial killer raincoat. Which I hung in the apartment building hallway so that every time the Husband walked out the door, he would have a mini heart attack. Oh hahaha.. That was fun. We were invited a to a friend's daughter's 3 year bday party and we said "Mais oui! And are you serving the alcohol?" Because she lives on the other side of town and I'm high maintenance when it comes to hills (the hills are not alive with the sound of music. They are alive with the sound of my lungs trying to escape through my chest... and swearing. Lots and lots of swearing) we ordered a taxi. With carseat in tow, we made our happy way to the party. Now, I'm going to preface this story by telling you I think my Kid is awesome. He is wild and precocious, but his sense of humour, his affection and his curiosity...

Gah! Rash! I broke out in a rash on my forehead and neck the other day and like any normal person, I grabbed some scissors and gave myself some bangs. Take that skin disfigurement. Sigh. I think I know the source of my rash, not completely sure, but I think it is a reaction to a L'Oreal product I bought the other day. The Husband saw the box, picked it up and said "This is for people in their 50s and up!" and I responded "I know, I'm just so very tired." Well damn you L'Oreal, I look like Freddy Kruger, Kruger with bangs. But this is a good reminder that I need to stick to my true and tested Nivea. Off and on for years I have slathered Nivea cream on my skin and have never had a problem. But every 6 months, a flashy plastic wrapped box catches my attention and I try something new and I am never ever satisfied. Well no more!!! And by otherworldly coincidence I read an article of a woman comparing Creme de la Mer ("sea cream" which makes me hav...

Woot! Went back to work yesterday. Still not feeling a hundred percent but I like being at work because then I don't feel the guilties. I am so looking forward to the weekend - on Saturday we have a three year old's party to attend and then in the evening the Husband is taking the inlaws out for dinner. I'm stocking up on Halloween stuff and I should probably wait until I start decorating so I know what I have. I always forget about the crap I already own and then I'm like, "10 glitter skulls?!?! That's slightly excessive." And yes, my middle name is Excessive so I shouldn't be surprised. I bought this awesome wrought iron candelabra the other day. Not just for Halloween but for everyday. I shouldn't have really bought it but I can't say no to 24.99. And so I bought it and the Husband asked if it was new and I said no, we've had it for years. And then he found the box and receipt under the table. Gaslighting the Husband? Level: dumbass on...

In college, my nickname was Karen Walker and that pleased me to bits. Yay! Rich drinker! Awesome! Now when someone says, "you remind me of someone" I nod knowingly and smugly smile and ask "Karen Walker?" and then they are like "No, Roseanne Barr." I joke. This hasn't happened.... yet. The thing that was so fabulous about Karen Walker was her self confidence and of course, her wit. And what made her so endearing was that she was a good friend... Bitchy, but still a good friend. Being confident is a struggle for me daily. Sure, sometimes I think "Well, I'm just fabulous!" and other days I feel like Ryan Seacrest aged 8. I think we all struggle with keeping it together. It gets easier with age but a lack of confidence can be crippling. And I am a hard master to my sometimes lack of self esteem. My biggest struggle? Weight. And it is a continuous struggle but you know what? Why do I let it define who I am? Oh yeah, because I still strug...

On Monday I met up with an old friend. We knew each other in our teens (met in Moscow) and then I followed her two years later to university. She's awesome and currently lives in New York. We had some wild, fun times back.in.the.day and we learned that no one should ever drink vodka with apple juice and that it is totally possible to meet astronauts in a dodgy bar in Moscow. We had some fun times and I was pretty curious about meeting up again 12 years later. So much time has passed and not in terms of years, but in terms of aging. When you know someone at 19 will you be the same at 32? Well, it was a pretty great night and I was happy to realise that as adults, we hadn't changed that much... And no, we did not drink apple juice and vodka and definitely did not meet any astronauts. But there were Russians sitting beside us at the Irish bar so that's, like, cool. Last week I wrote about what I imagined my life to be like as an adult when I was a kid. When I was a teenager ...

Life has a funny way of throwing coincidences our way. The other day I was on Twitter and looked up and followed Jen Lancaster and then after that, Twitter (you intuitive thing, you) suggested I follow Jennifer Weiner and since I am easily persuaded I thought "sure!". And I did. Anyway, later that day I picked up the August issue of Marie Claire (I live in Europe, we're behind) and there was an article about Jennifer Weiner and I was like "hey, we're Twitter buddies and I enjoy your books, let's see what this article is about." And wow. I thought it was a pretty awesome article and I was impressed. To sum it up, Ms. Weiner has been taking the New York Times Book Review to task. She believes that it is sexist and elitist and that it pretty much blasts any form of chick lit. And for that, I applaud her. Chick lit has exploded in recent years and I'll be damned if this genre is considered "fluff". Have you ever read Marian Keyes? No? Do, s...

The Kid is sick. He has a cold. It started on the weekend. My mother in law was kind enough to take care of him yesterday but today is my turn. The Husband has to go to a meeting out of town and it is the Mother in law's bday today. The Husband didn't think it would be very nice for us to ask her to watch a hacking coughing child on her birthday (apparently my argument "but she's had so many birthdays!!!" didn't fly with him). And actually, I think I am coming down with something so it works out. It is amazing how much more relaxed I am about the Kid getting sick. I remember when I started working and he started daycare and our morning theme song was "Freestyler" and how it seemed that almost every other week he got unbelievably ill. I was a zombie my first few months at my job and I'd tell people at work how he was sick again and they would be all like; they are so sweet when they are sick . And I would be all like; sweet?!?! He's talking...

Well, for those of you on Facebook, you already saw my post from Saturday. People were liking that status. And it made me happy that people be liking, people be liking and liking. If you didn't see it, here it is again: Went to the Vienna Harvest Festival at the Hofburg today. I walked along, one hand holding a glass of chilled Riesling, the other one holding the Kid's hand. A tourist couple walked by and the wife said to her husband bitchily "Look at that mother. Walking with her child and drinking wine. Tsk, tsk." So I stopped. And I turned and with my most disarming smile said "Welcome to Europe. It's faaaabulous." and then I turned back and walked on. That was my moment... It was beautiful. And I thought that today, guys, I would talk about it more in depth. I felt all "Whatcha gonna do about it lady?" when it first happened, but then as the day progressed I kept imagining this woman going back to her hotel and getting on Tripadvisor an...

The Husband went out last night to watch a football game (soccer). The Husband rarely goes out so when he does it is a great chance for me to watch crap on TV and read blogs about Halloween. The only thing that bothers me is that the blasted games don't start until 8:45 and usually by nine I'm ready for bed. Another awesome thing about yesterday was that I got a couple of hours to myself in the apartment in the afternoon. Usually I am home just before 6. I say thank you thank you thank you to the nanny, give the Kid a bath and then make dinner for the Kid and play with his train set but now on Fridays, when the inlaws are in town, the mother in law picks the Kid up from daycare. Then Husband picks him up from the in laws and gets home around 6:30. This gives me an hour or two to chill and it is total bliss. As you can see, the blog looks different. It was time. Last time I made a change it went all funky and I was like "stahp Internet, stahp!!" and I tried to press ...

You guuuuys... Thank you so very much for all the sharing of yesterday's blog post and for all the awesome comments. I even received a lovely pm from an old friend. I got to say, I was really touched. And 194 page views?!?! Lordy! I do declare! I feel this meme sums up how I feel today... Last night I told the Husband about how many views my post got and he was like "The tube tube project?" and I was like "yes." He doesn't read my blog which is a-ok with me. I told him that I wrote about third culture kids and he was like "doesn't really apply to me." And then I was all like "What are you talking about?! You were born in Kenya, white boy!" and then I told him about what I wrote in terms of third culture kid "tics" and he was like "hmm, not really." And then I was all like "Two months ago we spent an evening trying to remember our drivers' names!!!" And then he got quiet. In other news, it is F...

Being a third culture kid affected  me in more ways than I ever knew. A third culture kid is a kid who does not live in their country of origin, is not immigrating to the country they are briefly living in and ergo, they create a third culture. In my day we didn't really have a term for that. We were neatly categorized by: oil brat, army brat, company brat, missionary kid and of course, me, a diplobrat. I'm not going to get into the technicalities of what each of those labels mean; there were tiers and groups and it's just too complicated to write about on a blog that thinks teeth bleaching is, like, awesome. And so, in my humble opinion, here are some stereotypical characterizations of third culture kids, when they become adults: (I'm projecting, like, a lot) We are always aware of our surroundings. Growing up with BBC for deployed people in Germany, there were always these random public service announcements telling you how to check for bombs under your car. Or, w...

Oh Kids. Kids with their crack pipe dreams. I had so many dreams as a kid. So many visions of what my life would be like. A large part was the idea that once I was an adult, I could eat chocolate everyday, and pizza too. I literally imagined a cupboard of chocolate and a pizza place next door. I imagined dates with handsome men with defined jawlines (I read a lot of Harlequin novels) while I wore a leisure suit and my hair was feathered (I read a lot of Harlequin novels from the 70s) and ate dinner at an Italian restaurant with checkered tablecloths and netting on the ceiling (I read a lot of Harlequin novels from the 70s that were terrible). I imagined myself in some high powered job wearing suits with shoulder pads (I watched films in the 80s) while I yelled "objection your honour!!" or jammed a microphone into some corrupt politician's face and asked "any comment on your affair with the minor, Senator?". I imagined living in a loft in Paris, drinki...

Dropped the Kid off at daycare this morning. This time their complaint is that he isn't napping well. Really... He's back 4 days after two and a half weeks off and he has the audacity to not happily nap. Well, time to call the therapist again! (end of sarcasm). I mean, for reals, he is two and a half. I still fight naps. Anyways, the Summer of Me has put so much into perspective and all I can say is "whatevs". And then I whip my hair back and forth. So, last night I had a great dinner with the Husband at home. We feed the Kid before and put him to bed, so that we can have an adult only dinner. Once or twice a week we try to have dinner with the Kid but he just seems to bring up politics and religion and it gets awkward. Anyway, I was thinking about how awesome a wife I was and then I asked the Husband if he thought I was a good wife and he said "Yes. Does that mean we are going to have sex now?" Ha ha. No. No marriage is perfect and no spouse is perfect ...