Diagnosis Centre - Part Deux
Yesterday was a completely mad day. Got up early, hit the gym, got the Kid up, got him dressed, headed to work, left work to meet the Husband and the Kid and then headed to the diagnosis centre where we met a speech therapist, then the Husband took the Kid home and I ran to meet someone about my fashion course then I ran to the grocery store and then headed home and played with the Kid, got him ready for bed, made dinner and then collapsed on the sofa. It was a Run Lola Run kind of day. I was zonked.
But I am glad we went to the diagnosis centre yesterday for the second appointment. The speech therapist that we met was very nice - she's been in the field for 27 years and she's great! Raphael was on fine form and by fine form I mean his head spun. He.was.pissed. Once we got into the room and he saw a train set, we were settled. I told the woman everything that has been happening. After watching him for a bit and talking to us, she said "I don't see autism. Maybe hyper-activity and hearing issues (he is very loud) but not autism." She went on to say that she thinks he has social and behavioral problems and really what it comes down to is that he is on the spectrum of jerk. I've been enabling a brat (she didn't say that but that is what I am getting out of this). And you know what, for the past few months I have been. With words like autism and aspergers being thrown at me and a daycare telling me I work too much, I have been over compensating. I have been riddled with guilt. How can I possibly discipline a child who has autism? Will I do more damage? Is he having feelings of abandonment? Am I to blame? Or is the autism causing his outbursts. Every night I would lie awake with a pit in my stomach thinking "What next? What can we do?" And now, as it turns out, he's just a bit of a jerk because of my lack of discipline.
Well, child o mine, times are a changing. Your ass is mine (and I say this with love). Strict Mommy is in town, population: you. We still have some more appointments at the centre and we will be having his ears checked next month. Whatever advice we can get will be beneficial. I feel a sense of relief that I can be a strict, yet loving mom again. This has been an epic emotional battle and I am starting to see the light. We will see if Montessori is a good fit for him but I have a feeling that with more work at home and a new environment, he be a jerk no mo'.
I love my son to the ends of the Earth but I am doing him no favors by letting him get away with crap. Now I feel like I have the permission to lay down the law. Poor Kid, he's not going to like this... too bad.
.jpg)
But I am glad we went to the diagnosis centre yesterday for the second appointment. The speech therapist that we met was very nice - she's been in the field for 27 years and she's great! Raphael was on fine form and by fine form I mean his head spun. He.was.pissed. Once we got into the room and he saw a train set, we were settled. I told the woman everything that has been happening. After watching him for a bit and talking to us, she said "I don't see autism. Maybe hyper-activity and hearing issues (he is very loud) but not autism." She went on to say that she thinks he has social and behavioral problems and really what it comes down to is that he is on the spectrum of jerk. I've been enabling a brat (she didn't say that but that is what I am getting out of this). And you know what, for the past few months I have been. With words like autism and aspergers being thrown at me and a daycare telling me I work too much, I have been over compensating. I have been riddled with guilt. How can I possibly discipline a child who has autism? Will I do more damage? Is he having feelings of abandonment? Am I to blame? Or is the autism causing his outbursts. Every night I would lie awake with a pit in my stomach thinking "What next? What can we do?" And now, as it turns out, he's just a bit of a jerk because of my lack of discipline.
Well, child o mine, times are a changing. Your ass is mine (and I say this with love). Strict Mommy is in town, population: you. We still have some more appointments at the centre and we will be having his ears checked next month. Whatever advice we can get will be beneficial. I feel a sense of relief that I can be a strict, yet loving mom again. This has been an epic emotional battle and I am starting to see the light. We will see if Montessori is a good fit for him but I have a feeling that with more work at home and a new environment, he be a jerk no mo'.
I love my son to the ends of the Earth but I am doing him no favors by letting him get away with crap. Now I feel like I have the permission to lay down the law. Poor Kid, he's not going to like this... too bad.
Comments
Post a Comment