So Last Night at the Fancy Book Launch
Oh God guys, I out Bridgeted Bridget Jones last night. I went for gold, I got platinum. And today I am paying for that. This morning the Husband told me the plumber would be coming between 11 and 1 and I did the selfless thing and offered to stay home for the morning. He took the Kid to kindergarten and I stayed on the sofa, smacking my forehead repeatedly when memories of the night before kept hurtling back in my mind. Ugh. Contrary to popular belief, I don't actually get blotto very often. Sure, I like my wine but there would be no way I can do the stuff I do if I actually drank to the extreme. It wouldn't be functioning alcoholism, it would be over-achieving alcoholism. I could sell tickets to my seminars on how to get so much done while drinking.
Besides my full time job and taking care of the Kid, I also write this blog, write once in a while for Vienna Würstelstand, help out at the House of Canada and just started the Autism in Vienna page. Yeah, I don't have time for hangovers. Except I made an exception last night. Last night, CRAZY FUN INSANE TOVA came out to play. Oh dear lord, was it epic and maybe a little tragic and definitely a lot MY LIFE IS LIKE WHAT RIGHT NOW?!?!
So yesterday was the Book Launch. My friend (we'll call her B.B.) had invited me to join and I checked out the invite for the address and saw that it was close to der Fuchs und die Trauben and I thought "Wonderful!" I will go for a drink first and then go to the party. I showed up at Fuchs around 5:45 and ordered something sparkly. I talked to the brothers and told them I was going to a book launch for Tarek something or other. One of them was like "Tarek Leitner?!?" and I was like "Yeah, why? You know him?" And he was like "He's on ORF." and I was like "HE IS?!" Dammit, first rule Tova, find out who is actually launching their book. Another friend came out of the kitchen and I said "Guess whose book launch I am going to? Tarek Leitner!" because suddenly I was smug but also quite sure that he wouldn't know who that was to which he responded with "TAREK LEITNER?!?" Damn. I probably should watch the news more. I finished my drink and made my way over to the address on the invite, suddenly a lot more nervous than I already had been.
I was already nervous for a few reasons. One was that I was going to a book launch and I would be in a room of people that I do not know. While I am pretty extroverted, it still can be hard for me to be in a sea of strangers... especially if everybody is Austrian because that means I have to break out the bad German that I speak.. badly. Another reason I was nervous was that I walked by the address on my way to Fuchs and I hadn't seen a bar or a cafe and I briefly wondered if I was even on the right street. So just before 6:30, I walked up the street and oh hey look, the door is open and there is a hallway and a woman standing there at a table. I have the right address! Yay me! I walked up and said my name and when she couldn't find it on the list I blurted out "I'm a friend of B.B.!" and she then smiled and said "Ok, just head on up." and I felt smug.
I walked up the stairs and kept thinking, this is an interesting bar. On one level I noticed some toys and a kid carpet in one room and thought to myself, "Oh hey. A kid's play area in this bar. Awesome!" and then I walked up more steps (this place was huge!) and made it into a minimally yet beautifully decorated Altbau living room. I still hadn't figured out that this wasn't a bar. Suddenly a film camera was in my face and I blinked at the strong light. The guy quickly turned it away from my face because I ain't a big deal.. yet. A man walked up to me and shook my hand and he said "Hello! I'm Tarek." and I went "Oh! Hi! Hi! Hi!" like a hopped up squirrel and then I wanted to die a little. He let go of my hand and I walked into the next room which was also gorgeous. To the left was a dining room table with French doors just beyond that led out to a terrace and right ahead of me was a spotless open kitchen. I kept thinking, "This is an awesome bar!" I located B.B. and said hello. She offered me a glass of wine and I stood in the kitchen for a few minutes, letting her finish up a press release. The cameras kept panning back and forth and at that moment I went on Facebook and wrote something like "Going to be on TV, guys. I'll be the awkward girl in the kitchen, drinking wine." Luckily B.B. finished up quickly and we moved over to the dining room table to talk. The place filled up quickly and I said to her "This place is great! How did you find it?" and she looked at me like a lot of people look at me when I open my mouth, a look which is a mixture of confusion and shock at my complete lack of awareness.
"Um, this is Tarek's place." she answered. "WHAT?!?!? THIS WHOLE PLACE?!?" I yelled. And then I went on because I am an idiot. "How much does he earn? I mean, he owns this? Like actually owns it? Who is this guy? I didn't even know who this Tarek guy..." and at that exact moment he came around the corner. Motherfather. He chatted with us briefly and I wanted to die. The cameras turned our way and I squinted in the light and if you see me on TV, just know that the camera adds like 50 pounds and I had already had some wine. Just throwing it out there. He was absolutely lovely by the way and I felt like a colossal ass. Then B.B.'s boss came by and he is a RIOT! I met him in the summer and found him hilarious. A little side note, the Brandstätter Verlag is an awesome publishing house. They publish the prettiest books; cookbooks, guide books and no, they won't publish my book because I already asked. I never said I had class. They also donated a bunch of books for the fundraiser I held in the Spring so I have nothing but love for them. Brandstätter Verlag is the publisher of my new bud Tarek's (he doesn't know we are friends, but whatever) book Wo Leben Wir Denn and I order you to go and buy it! Go!
After another glass of wine, the speeches started. First up was Nicky Brandstätter who cracked a couple of jokes, and then B.B. made a great speech and then my new BFF Tarek (literally he has no idea who I am) talked about his book. After the applause, the party really got started. And by that I mean the wine flowed and flowed. I met some really lovely people and at one point, I claimed a seat at the dining room table which was like a spider creating a web. I met one woman who works at ORF and we talked about the Kid and the Autism in Vienna and I gave her my card. Then a gentleman took a seat beside me and it turned out he owns, with his wife, a couple of bookstores in Vienna. I immediately hid my Kindle under my day planner in my purse. After a great conversation (because I am charming), another woman sat down beside me and introduced herself as Nadja. I asked her "What do you do?" and she gave me a confused look "You don't know?" and I said "Ummm. No? Or do I?" and she said "I work with Tarek. I read the news too". "Oh! Sorry!" and I really really need to start watching the news. Turns out she was born in Canada too which is awesome. We chatted for a bit and I am not sure what I said because at this point, the wine had hit me and it had hit me hard. I do know that I gave her my card because why not.
After our chat, I went to talk to B.B. for a little while and somehow I ended up in the kitchen talking to a very lovely woman and I do not for the life of me remember her name. And then I was introduced to an ORF very important executive and he mentioned his driver and then I think I guffawed in his face because, wine. I also told him that I pay my GIS taxes every month and patted him on the lapel and said "You are welcome".
Ugh. What is wrong with me? By 10:30 it was time to bounce because yes, there can be too much of me at one time. I said good bye to my adoring fans (wine makes me popular) and thanked my new BFF Tarek for a lovely party and I had been speaking German for most of the night so I was brain dead and I started to try and tell a funny story but then I stopped and switched to English and said "Lovely place. I'm drunk. Good job on the book and stuff. Byeeee" Boom! Beautifully done, Tova. I suggested to B.B. that we stop at der Fuchs und die Trauben because apparently I needed gyoza and more wine. Bad idea. We ate and chatted and I was so glad she could finally try out the place I talk about all the time. I'm literally Norm from Cheers.
Lovely K. came and sat and chatted and this is when the rest of the night got a little fuzzy. I did make it into a taxi just after midnight and I wrote a couple of text messages which were surprisingly coherent. And it turns out I washed the make up off my face and put on pj's so drunk Tova was responsible. I did have a slight panic this morning thinking I had not paid at der Fuchs but K. assured me that somebody had paid. I also wrote B.B. and apologized but she said I was great and I will believe her because if you can't trust your friends... And the best part, I still get to go to another book launch next month! Yaaay! And this next book launch is going to be INCREDIBLE. LIKE ALL CELEBRITIES AND IMPORTANT PEOPLE AND OMG I NEED TO BEHAVE NEXT TIME! Sorry, Tarek. Your launch party was awesome... I'm just sorry you had to experience Letting Off Steam Tova and not witty and bright and intellectual Tova. I am sorry. Let's grab a beer? Call me? So that was my night! A few times during the evening I felt like pinching myself because I cannot believe how this year has been. I have had so many incredible experiences in 2015 and have met so many amazing people and really... my life is like what right now! Oh yeah, and I am detoxing on Friday...again. Happy Thursday, everybody!
Besides my full time job and taking care of the Kid, I also write this blog, write once in a while for Vienna Würstelstand, help out at the House of Canada and just started the Autism in Vienna page. Yeah, I don't have time for hangovers. Except I made an exception last night. Last night, CRAZY FUN INSANE TOVA came out to play. Oh dear lord, was it epic and maybe a little tragic and definitely a lot MY LIFE IS LIKE WHAT RIGHT NOW?!?!
I was already nervous for a few reasons. One was that I was going to a book launch and I would be in a room of people that I do not know. While I am pretty extroverted, it still can be hard for me to be in a sea of strangers... especially if everybody is Austrian because that means I have to break out the bad German that I speak.. badly. Another reason I was nervous was that I walked by the address on my way to Fuchs and I hadn't seen a bar or a cafe and I briefly wondered if I was even on the right street. So just before 6:30, I walked up the street and oh hey look, the door is open and there is a hallway and a woman standing there at a table. I have the right address! Yay me! I walked up and said my name and when she couldn't find it on the list I blurted out "I'm a friend of B.B.!" and she then smiled and said "Ok, just head on up." and I felt smug.
I walked up the stairs and kept thinking, this is an interesting bar. On one level I noticed some toys and a kid carpet in one room and thought to myself, "Oh hey. A kid's play area in this bar. Awesome!" and then I walked up more steps (this place was huge!) and made it into a minimally yet beautifully decorated Altbau living room. I still hadn't figured out that this wasn't a bar. Suddenly a film camera was in my face and I blinked at the strong light. The guy quickly turned it away from my face because I ain't a big deal.. yet. A man walked up to me and shook my hand and he said "Hello! I'm Tarek." and I went "Oh! Hi! Hi! Hi!" like a hopped up squirrel and then I wanted to die a little. He let go of my hand and I walked into the next room which was also gorgeous. To the left was a dining room table with French doors just beyond that led out to a terrace and right ahead of me was a spotless open kitchen. I kept thinking, "This is an awesome bar!" I located B.B. and said hello. She offered me a glass of wine and I stood in the kitchen for a few minutes, letting her finish up a press release. The cameras kept panning back and forth and at that moment I went on Facebook and wrote something like "Going to be on TV, guys. I'll be the awkward girl in the kitchen, drinking wine." Luckily B.B. finished up quickly and we moved over to the dining room table to talk. The place filled up quickly and I said to her "This place is great! How did you find it?" and she looked at me like a lot of people look at me when I open my mouth, a look which is a mixture of confusion and shock at my complete lack of awareness.
"Um, this is Tarek's place." she answered. "WHAT?!?!? THIS WHOLE PLACE?!?" I yelled. And then I went on because I am an idiot. "How much does he earn? I mean, he owns this? Like actually owns it? Who is this guy? I didn't even know who this Tarek guy..." and at that exact moment he came around the corner. Motherfather. He chatted with us briefly and I wanted to die. The cameras turned our way and I squinted in the light and if you see me on TV, just know that the camera adds like 50 pounds and I had already had some wine. Just throwing it out there. He was absolutely lovely by the way and I felt like a colossal ass. Then B.B.'s boss came by and he is a RIOT! I met him in the summer and found him hilarious. A little side note, the Brandstätter Verlag is an awesome publishing house. They publish the prettiest books; cookbooks, guide books and no, they won't publish my book because I already asked. I never said I had class. They also donated a bunch of books for the fundraiser I held in the Spring so I have nothing but love for them. Brandstätter Verlag is the publisher of my new bud Tarek's (he doesn't know we are friends, but whatever) book Wo Leben Wir Denn and I order you to go and buy it! Go!
After another glass of wine, the speeches started. First up was Nicky Brandstätter who cracked a couple of jokes, and then B.B. made a great speech and then my new BFF Tarek (literally he has no idea who I am) talked about his book. After the applause, the party really got started. And by that I mean the wine flowed and flowed. I met some really lovely people and at one point, I claimed a seat at the dining room table which was like a spider creating a web. I met one woman who works at ORF and we talked about the Kid and the Autism in Vienna and I gave her my card. Then a gentleman took a seat beside me and it turned out he owns, with his wife, a couple of bookstores in Vienna. I immediately hid my Kindle under my day planner in my purse. After a great conversation (because I am charming), another woman sat down beside me and introduced herself as Nadja. I asked her "What do you do?" and she gave me a confused look "You don't know?" and I said "Ummm. No? Or do I?" and she said "I work with Tarek. I read the news too". "Oh! Sorry!" and I really really need to start watching the news. Turns out she was born in Canada too which is awesome. We chatted for a bit and I am not sure what I said because at this point, the wine had hit me and it had hit me hard. I do know that I gave her my card because why not.
After our chat, I went to talk to B.B. for a little while and somehow I ended up in the kitchen talking to a very lovely woman and I do not for the life of me remember her name. And then I was introduced to an ORF very important executive and he mentioned his driver and then I think I guffawed in his face because, wine. I also told him that I pay my GIS taxes every month and patted him on the lapel and said "You are welcome".
Ugh. What is wrong with me? By 10:30 it was time to bounce because yes, there can be too much of me at one time. I said good bye to my adoring fans (wine makes me popular) and thanked my new BFF Tarek for a lovely party and I had been speaking German for most of the night so I was brain dead and I started to try and tell a funny story but then I stopped and switched to English and said "Lovely place. I'm drunk. Good job on the book and stuff. Byeeee" Boom! Beautifully done, Tova. I suggested to B.B. that we stop at der Fuchs und die Trauben because apparently I needed gyoza and more wine. Bad idea. We ate and chatted and I was so glad she could finally try out the place I talk about all the time. I'm literally Norm from Cheers.
Lovely K. came and sat and chatted and this is when the rest of the night got a little fuzzy. I did make it into a taxi just after midnight and I wrote a couple of text messages which were surprisingly coherent. And it turns out I washed the make up off my face and put on pj's so drunk Tova was responsible. I did have a slight panic this morning thinking I had not paid at der Fuchs but K. assured me that somebody had paid. I also wrote B.B. and apologized but she said I was great and I will believe her because if you can't trust your friends... And the best part, I still get to go to another book launch next month! Yaaay! And this next book launch is going to be INCREDIBLE. LIKE ALL CELEBRITIES AND IMPORTANT PEOPLE AND OMG I NEED TO BEHAVE NEXT TIME! Sorry, Tarek. Your launch party was awesome... I'm just sorry you had to experience Letting Off Steam Tova and not witty and bright and intellectual Tova. I am sorry. Let's grab a beer? Call me? So that was my night! A few times during the evening I felt like pinching myself because I cannot believe how this year has been. I have had so many incredible experiences in 2015 and have met so many amazing people and really... my life is like what right now! Oh yeah, and I am detoxing on Friday...again. Happy Thursday, everybody!
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