High Tea At the Ritz Carlton Vienna
Guys, I can't move. I might need shoes with wheels to get me anywhere. Or a hoverboard (Back to the Future, I'm not talking to you. You know why). I just got back from the Ritz Carlton and I think I might end up passing out. I ate so much and I might actually eat salad voluntarily tomorrow and not because I am being polite and eating it because someone went to the effort to make a salad. No, I might actually order a salad. That's how sugared up I am right now. 10 year old me after an Ottawa Halloween has nothing on my blood sugar stats right now. But you know what? WORTH IT!
Last week a couple of friends pm'd me and asked if I wanted to join them for high tea at the Ritz Carlton one weekend afternoon. I think I needed a second before I wrote "Capital idea! Sounds like a smashing plan!" in reality I probably wrote something like "Hell, yes, Imma have myself some fancy food." Now, I haven't been to high tea since I was about 12. My mom used to take me to the Chateau Laurier in Ottawa for high tea and I always remember thinking "God, I can't wait to be old enough to drink." I joke. Kind of. It was always an exciting event and I would wear my prettiest dress and pretend I was a princess and then I would drink my Shirley Temple smugly, looking out the window. So it was kind of exciting to have the chance to go as an adult... who now can drink.
I put on a black dress, my black heels, my Hermes scarf (thank you Mommy), my vintage Chanel chain necklace (thank you Mommy) and my H&M fake fur vest (keeping it real, kids, keeping it real). I showed up early as I ALWAYS DO and made my way to the Melounge. Now, do you pronounce it as Me-lounge... like what I am doing right now? "Mommy so tired. Gonna Me-lounge." or is it more a play on "Melange".. Either way, I'm down with it. I walked in and I was shown to a table for three. It was set with placemats, a box (ooh! Mystery box!) and an awesome martini glass that did not fit in my purse. My friends showed up shortly afterwards and the absolutely lovely Maitre D' explained the procedure. With the high tea, you have a choice of having champagne, a jasmine tea infused cosmopolitan or a virgin cosmopolitan. We decided to each try out the options. The cocktail is poured from a Ketel One vodka teapot with dry ice so it all smoky and awesome.
And then, when you look at the cocktail, you see SPARKLES!!! We asked why it was sparkly and we were told it was pearl dust. Before I could see if I could collect the residue and make myself a brooch, we were told that "pearl dust" is just a name for edible glitter. Saved myself some embarrassment right there.
The champagne served was Louis Roederer and FABULOUS! Next a box containing an assortment of 18 Damman Freres teas was brought to the table and I chose a tea just because it was called Rosebud. I choose my tea like I choose my books: names. Looking at you Animal Farm, you know what you did.
After our drinks and our tea arriving, then came the food. At the table, already set up, is a large metal curved thingy (never claimed to be a good writer, guys). Well, this thingy is set up to hold the incredible circle of FOOD. Oh my word! Check this out!!!
I mean, look at this! LOOK AT IT!! This isn't just high tea. No, this is what the 1% eats. This was out of this WORLD! So let me walk you through this. At the bottom you got your scones. With your scones you got your clotted cream and pepper strawberry jam. Big fan, HUGE! Then the second tier is what I call lunch. You got your salmon and caviar toast, you got your ham sandwich, you got your lobster wrap and your guacamole and roasted veg on toasted bread. And then, I'm not done here, at the top you got your cherry macarons, your carrot cake, your eggnog mousse, your citrus cupcake and your chocolate cheese cake. IT HAS A SHOE ON IT! I am motherloving (chubby) Carrie Bradshaw!
We ate and ate and the Brit at the table declared the scones "real" and I declared "THIS IS ALL SO INCREDIBLE!" After consuming my weekly allowance of calories, I sat back and briefly thought about breaking a rib to make more room for one more scone. The amount of food is unreal and with the tea and drinks... it's an incredible way to spend the afternoon: getting slightly tipsy and getting the diabetes. I have had a lot of amazing dining experiences in Vienna but this was truly one of my top experiences! From the location: 1960's fancy decor and the excellent Ritz Carlton service. (Also, one thing I always notice in 5 star hotels is the sound.. or rather.. the lack of. It's a type of hushed noise that is comfortable and I love it) To the food and drinks: the amount of food paired with the drinks - amazing. And now get ready for the best part... per person, the whole thing costs 38 euros (for the champagne option) and 32 for the Cosmopolitan option. For a ladies afternoon or a special occasion, I totally think this is a wonderful way to celebrate! It's so fancy and special. The one criticism I have is that I now have to put my budget frozen pizza back in the fridge, because Mama can't eat no mo' food tonight. I think I'm starting to come down now, man. Coming down.
So, there you have it! A total wonderful option for the afternoon. Just make sure to make a reservation because I have a feeling this might just become one of the most popular places to be. Just turn around and you will see me in the corner, wearing my stretchy pants. Happy Sunday night!
Last week a couple of friends pm'd me and asked if I wanted to join them for high tea at the Ritz Carlton one weekend afternoon. I think I needed a second before I wrote "Capital idea! Sounds like a smashing plan!" in reality I probably wrote something like "Hell, yes, Imma have myself some fancy food." Now, I haven't been to high tea since I was about 12. My mom used to take me to the Chateau Laurier in Ottawa for high tea and I always remember thinking "God, I can't wait to be old enough to drink." I joke. Kind of. It was always an exciting event and I would wear my prettiest dress and pretend I was a princess and then I would drink my Shirley Temple smugly, looking out the window. So it was kind of exciting to have the chance to go as an adult... who now can drink.
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| If you get this reference, you are AWESOME |
And then, when you look at the cocktail, you see SPARKLES!!! We asked why it was sparkly and we were told it was pearl dust. Before I could see if I could collect the residue and make myself a brooch, we were told that "pearl dust" is just a name for edible glitter. Saved myself some embarrassment right there.
The champagne served was Louis Roederer and FABULOUS! Next a box containing an assortment of 18 Damman Freres teas was brought to the table and I chose a tea just because it was called Rosebud. I choose my tea like I choose my books: names. Looking at you Animal Farm, you know what you did.
After our drinks and our tea arriving, then came the food. At the table, already set up, is a large metal curved thingy (never claimed to be a good writer, guys). Well, this thingy is set up to hold the incredible circle of FOOD. Oh my word! Check this out!!!
I mean, look at this! LOOK AT IT!! This isn't just high tea. No, this is what the 1% eats. This was out of this WORLD! So let me walk you through this. At the bottom you got your scones. With your scones you got your clotted cream and pepper strawberry jam. Big fan, HUGE! Then the second tier is what I call lunch. You got your salmon and caviar toast, you got your ham sandwich, you got your lobster wrap and your guacamole and roasted veg on toasted bread. And then, I'm not done here, at the top you got your cherry macarons, your carrot cake, your eggnog mousse, your citrus cupcake and your chocolate cheese cake. IT HAS A SHOE ON IT! I am motherloving (chubby) Carrie Bradshaw!
We ate and ate and the Brit at the table declared the scones "real" and I declared "THIS IS ALL SO INCREDIBLE!" After consuming my weekly allowance of calories, I sat back and briefly thought about breaking a rib to make more room for one more scone. The amount of food is unreal and with the tea and drinks... it's an incredible way to spend the afternoon: getting slightly tipsy and getting the diabetes. I have had a lot of amazing dining experiences in Vienna but this was truly one of my top experiences! From the location: 1960's fancy decor and the excellent Ritz Carlton service. (Also, one thing I always notice in 5 star hotels is the sound.. or rather.. the lack of. It's a type of hushed noise that is comfortable and I love it) To the food and drinks: the amount of food paired with the drinks - amazing. And now get ready for the best part... per person, the whole thing costs 38 euros (for the champagne option) and 32 for the Cosmopolitan option. For a ladies afternoon or a special occasion, I totally think this is a wonderful way to celebrate! It's so fancy and special. The one criticism I have is that I now have to put my budget frozen pizza back in the fridge, because Mama can't eat no mo' food tonight. I think I'm starting to come down now, man. Coming down.
So, there you have it! A total wonderful option for the afternoon. Just make sure to make a reservation because I have a feeling this might just become one of the most popular places to be. Just turn around and you will see me in the corner, wearing my stretchy pants. Happy Sunday night!
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