The Kid's Birthday Party and Holding it Together the Best I Can

Tomorrow is the big day, the big show. The Kid is having his 4th birthday party. His actual birthday isn't until Tuesday but that day is the Fasching Party at the kindergarten. Fasching is the Austro/German carnival and it kind of sucks that Fasching sounds so like Fascist. Whooops. Adults and kids dress up on Fat Tuesday and eat jelly doughnuts in preparation for lent. Or, as I like to call it, sucks to be you. Us Jews just have to fast for a day. Holla! Winning! Sigh.

Anyway... tomorrow is a big day for me. Even though it really is a big day for the Kid... but the truth of the matter is, is that he could not care less about a party. Or, at least, we don't think he does. As most of you know, he has lost his language this past year and it is heart breaking but I keep hope eternal that it will come back. I think he did say "Mommy" today when a commercial for the Victoria's Secret fashion show was on but the camera was on Ed Sheeran... so... actually... he probably did mean me. Sigh. Again.

Tomorrow is a big day because it is our little pocket of normalcy, sandwiched between the insanity of the last couple of weeks and the upcoming MRI on Thursday. I am grateful that we will be surrounded by friends tomorrow because I feel like I am falling apart a little at the seams and doing my damndest to hold it together. We have a lot to be grateful for and tomorrow is the day that we can act like a normal family, toast our beautiful son and enjoy company.

Yesterday night the Husband was out. An old classmate who he hasn't seen in about 15 years was in town for the night and even though I had plans to originally go out, he trumped me. The Husband also deserved a night out. I don't think he will ever get that image of walking up the stairs and finding me on the ground, clutching the Kid and screaming, out of his head. Wow. I went to a dark place. I need to change tracks.

So here I sit, in our living room. It is decorated in greens, yellows and blues. And it looks awesome! I will post pictures tomorrow! I decided on a Rio Carnival theme and the menu does NOT reflect that because I did not have the time to look up Brazillian recipes. I will be making:

Pizza
Hot dogs
Steak sandwiches
Fries
Stuffed cheese balls
Coconut rice
A motherloving ugly cake (more on that tomorrow)

Drinks will be:
Orange juice
Wine
Beer
Cocktail with vodka and pineapple juice... for the kids, of course

The party starts at 12 and I know that the Kid will have a good time.. even if he ignores the other kids. I can't believe that another year has gone by. Last year at this time, we had just gone through the re-birthing nightmare and with our tails between our legs, we headed back to the terrible kindergarten. It was a terrible time. But I do have so much to be grateful for and the most important thing is seeing how much happier the Kid is and that in itself, is everything (except today he has been a thing possessed and I am looking forward to my shot of Nyquil tonight). I apologize for all the sadness tonight. I will snap out of it soon. And I just cannot wait until we are done with next Thursday. We have a lot of therapy meetings coming up and I look forward to getting started on a new programme. So until tomorrow! Nighty night and thanks for reading and letting me be a little down.