Off to the Hospital
We are off in the next couple of hours. The Kid is running around pretty happy that the Mommy is home with him. This afternoon we have an EEG and if I can go by the last time he did it a couple of weeks ago... it will no doubt be horrific. There will be spitting. But this time we are bringing new boxed sets of pacifiers because at this point, that's his currency. The EEG doesn't bother me. It is the putting under tomorrow for the MRI. We know that the seizures were caused by a terrible strain of flu but I think it is good for us to get it anyway based on his loss of language over the past year. It has been just a terrible time and makes me realize how important my family is and how support from others has been key in stopping me from jumping out the window.
I need to surround myself with positivity because my son needs me. We all imagine what our life is going to bring us. That our children will be "normal" and work will be rewarding and that we will be content but life throws us curve balls. Sometimes it is the equivalent of stepping on Lego and sometimes it like being kissed by a thousand puppies. Metaphors, I'm unoriginal.
All I want from life is to be a good person, a good mother, a good wife and most importantly...be happy. I truly want the best for everybody.. well, not Kim Kardashian... she annoys me... and I want the best for myself. This past year has been a clusterfuck of insanity. My heart has been broken a million times. When your child no longer says Mommy, you want to stay in bed for months and cry and cry. When 60 words seemingly disappear overnight, you feel like you are going to die.
Everyone puts up a facade and tries to get on with life and I have been doing that. I refuse to go into hiding and I refuse to let the sadness get to me because there is a little person in my life that needs me to be strong. When people say I am strong, I don't really agree... I just have to do what I have to do and that is part of growing up. A big lesson I have learned this year is everybody has their own shit to deal with and I am not one in a million.
In no way am I someone to emulate - I have issues like everybody else. I try to be there for people but I sometimes fall short but part of me growing up is realizing that I can only be responsible for me and my son. And my husband when he tries to microwave a metal spoon.
So what is this long post about? Nothing really. But I am trying to make a vow to myself and to my son, that life is about finding happiness in yourself and with the little things. The big picture is to be able to look back on my life and know I did the best I could do. To quote Lisa Vanderpump "Life isn't always rose and diamonds" but the key is finding moments to have some rose (a lot) and find your own personal diamonds.
Every experience is a learning opportunity. I just wish the experiences would be a little less heart wrenching. No more ambulance rides please. So with this post, I wish you all a great day and I promise that this blog will not be so serious in the future. We all need to escape from reality once in a while and this blog has been it for me. I'm bringing silly back. Holla!
I need to surround myself with positivity because my son needs me. We all imagine what our life is going to bring us. That our children will be "normal" and work will be rewarding and that we will be content but life throws us curve balls. Sometimes it is the equivalent of stepping on Lego and sometimes it like being kissed by a thousand puppies. Metaphors, I'm unoriginal.
All I want from life is to be a good person, a good mother, a good wife and most importantly...be happy. I truly want the best for everybody.. well, not Kim Kardashian... she annoys me... and I want the best for myself. This past year has been a clusterfuck of insanity. My heart has been broken a million times. When your child no longer says Mommy, you want to stay in bed for months and cry and cry. When 60 words seemingly disappear overnight, you feel like you are going to die.
Everyone puts up a facade and tries to get on with life and I have been doing that. I refuse to go into hiding and I refuse to let the sadness get to me because there is a little person in my life that needs me to be strong. When people say I am strong, I don't really agree... I just have to do what I have to do and that is part of growing up. A big lesson I have learned this year is everybody has their own shit to deal with and I am not one in a million.
In no way am I someone to emulate - I have issues like everybody else. I try to be there for people but I sometimes fall short but part of me growing up is realizing that I can only be responsible for me and my son. And my husband when he tries to microwave a metal spoon.
So what is this long post about? Nothing really. But I am trying to make a vow to myself and to my son, that life is about finding happiness in yourself and with the little things. The big picture is to be able to look back on my life and know I did the best I could do. To quote Lisa Vanderpump "Life isn't always rose and diamonds" but the key is finding moments to have some rose (a lot) and find your own personal diamonds.
Every experience is a learning opportunity. I just wish the experiences would be a little less heart wrenching. No more ambulance rides please. So with this post, I wish you all a great day and I promise that this blog will not be so serious in the future. We all need to escape from reality once in a while and this blog has been it for me. I'm bringing silly back. Holla!
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