Valentine's Day Therassacre
Well, Valentine's Day was more like Normal Day in the life of our family. The Husband brought the Kid to the Daycare, I went to work, then left work and met the Husband and Kid at the u-bahn station at 4:30 and we made our way to another appointment with the Therapist. Last session, two weeks ago, was kind of a clusterfuck and we walked away a little defeated. When we entered the room, the Kid was at ease and immediately ran to the large doll house in the corner that had previously held some toy cars. She had removed them, he wasn't too impressed. I was super impressed that he remembered that. She told us that for this session, she would just let him play and I thought that was a "novel" idea.
She tried to interact with him but he actively ignored her until she brought out the pretzels. I asked him for one and he gave me one. Then I told him to give one to Daddy and he did. And since he was on a roll, I asked him to give one to the therapist. He shrugged, went over to her and placed one in her mouth and walked away. I was proud. She tried to make him feed toy animals but he was not interested in that until she brought out a toy bunny that squeaks and hops. Oh did he lose his ever loving mind. His first reaction was fear, and then laughter and then fear again. It was pretty hilarious and she noted that he seemed to enjoy the fear. And I asked her if she had ever eaten expired curry and she then actively ignored me. The Kid was pretty awesome and we could tell he was a lot more comfortable this time around. At the end, she told us that this was the last session with him and that we are to meet with her again in two weeks (without the Kid) to discuss her findings. Because I have no patience, I asked her tell me her thoughts. She said that while he displays some things that could be deemed autism, she wouldn't diagnose him with it. There were definitely behaviours that he exhibited that were definitely not autistic; waving good bye, showing us things and offering her the pretzel. But she wants us to try and make him make more eye contact. Oh joy. This will be a blast. I should probably rent A Clockwork Orange.
She suggested that we look into ergotherapy (don't ask) and to look into parent coaching to help deal with his strong-willingness (new term). But we will definitely find out more on the 28th. What I liked was that she said that he is still young and so much can change in a short time and not to worry so much. And I agreed. But the more I thought about it, the more angry I got. I am angry that for the better part of the year, I haven't been able to just enjoy the awesomeness of my child and his quirks. But rather, I have had to analyze his behaviour, look for "tics" and try and find out what makes him "tick" and that makes me angry. I know that the Kid has some behavioural problems and I am so grateful that we can get the help we need, but the emotional turmoil we have been through has been agonizing. I know we are blessed to have an amazing son. I just wish more people could see it instead of trying to fit him into a box. It isn't fair. But life isn't fair and over the past few months I have learned a lot about myself and unfortunately have learned a lot about other people. It has taught me that life isn't always fair but that just means that when the amazing times finally come, I will appreciate them just that much more.
And so, after this long and rambling post, I wish you all a good night. I wish I had some closure but that will have to wait. So, I have some more cooking to do for the Kid's birthday party tomorrow and then I will head to bed. Please raise your glass in the air and help me toast to a child who makes me laugh all the time, has made me a better person and filled a hole in my heart I never knew I missed and who I know will one day flip off everyone who ever doubted him. To Raphael!
She tried to interact with him but he actively ignored her until she brought out the pretzels. I asked him for one and he gave me one. Then I told him to give one to Daddy and he did. And since he was on a roll, I asked him to give one to the therapist. He shrugged, went over to her and placed one in her mouth and walked away. I was proud. She tried to make him feed toy animals but he was not interested in that until she brought out a toy bunny that squeaks and hops. Oh did he lose his ever loving mind. His first reaction was fear, and then laughter and then fear again. It was pretty hilarious and she noted that he seemed to enjoy the fear. And I asked her if she had ever eaten expired curry and she then actively ignored me. The Kid was pretty awesome and we could tell he was a lot more comfortable this time around. At the end, she told us that this was the last session with him and that we are to meet with her again in two weeks (without the Kid) to discuss her findings. Because I have no patience, I asked her tell me her thoughts. She said that while he displays some things that could be deemed autism, she wouldn't diagnose him with it. There were definitely behaviours that he exhibited that were definitely not autistic; waving good bye, showing us things and offering her the pretzel. But she wants us to try and make him make more eye contact. Oh joy. This will be a blast. I should probably rent A Clockwork Orange.
She suggested that we look into ergotherapy (don't ask) and to look into parent coaching to help deal with his strong-willingness (new term). But we will definitely find out more on the 28th. What I liked was that she said that he is still young and so much can change in a short time and not to worry so much. And I agreed. But the more I thought about it, the more angry I got. I am angry that for the better part of the year, I haven't been able to just enjoy the awesomeness of my child and his quirks. But rather, I have had to analyze his behaviour, look for "tics" and try and find out what makes him "tick" and that makes me angry. I know that the Kid has some behavioural problems and I am so grateful that we can get the help we need, but the emotional turmoil we have been through has been agonizing. I know we are blessed to have an amazing son. I just wish more people could see it instead of trying to fit him into a box. It isn't fair. But life isn't fair and over the past few months I have learned a lot about myself and unfortunately have learned a lot about other people. It has taught me that life isn't always fair but that just means that when the amazing times finally come, I will appreciate them just that much more.
And so, after this long and rambling post, I wish you all a good night. I wish I had some closure but that will have to wait. So, I have some more cooking to do for the Kid's birthday party tomorrow and then I will head to bed. Please raise your glass in the air and help me toast to a child who makes me laugh all the time, has made me a better person and filled a hole in my heart I never knew I missed and who I know will one day flip off everyone who ever doubted him. To Raphael!
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