Tova's Guide To Being A Great Gift Giver Part I

Giving great gifts is my thing. I'm not being vain, I just like to think of myself as the Gift Whisperer. I spend a lot of time thinking and planning for the perfect gift. And I want everybody to be a good gift giver because it's a nice thing to be. Because my number one love language is GIFTS! (last one is physical touch. Hate being touched), I show my affection through gifts. That whole saying "Just be grateful for anything you get" is true, but I'm going to be a little confused if someone buys me sweater with a cat on it... Like this. Obviously, you don't care one bit for me.
Oh sweet jeebus...

To make your Christmas a simpler, happier time, I'm here to give you some tips as to how to give the perfect gift.

A juicer and a gym membership?!?! What are you saying?!?
Rule #1: Listen. Listen to your friends, your loved ones, your manicurist. Let your ears perk up when they say the word "love". That is your first hint. However, be careful. If someone says "I looooove the Beatles", they most likely have all the albums... but, do they have a framed picture of themselves photoshopped with the band? Probably not. So get on it. Spend time stalking them on Facebook or Pinterest - that should give you a good idea of what they like. Make sure it doesn't say "lol" under a picture of an outfit.

Rule #2: Is it practical? Look, we're all adults, or at least trying to be. By this time, we should most likely have a place to live that we may or may not have to share with a boy or a girl... and for the most part, we've spent the last couple of years spending money on stuff we like. So avoid giving anything that requires being hung or space being made. I give friends silly things like hand painted zombie gnomes or David Bowie onesies or t-shirts that say something funny... but I don't expect these things to be displayed in their homes or when I drop by. Giving stuff like paintings, rugs, etchings, ritual monkey skull (one day that thing will be out of our apartment)... not always a great idea unless you know for sure that they will looove it. And, yes, practical is good, but don't be too practical... like giving your wife an iron. Death wish.

Rule #3: Ask the parents. If you are buying for kids that aren't your own, double check with the parental units. Some parents are anti-Barbie or anti-Lego or anti-lead based anything. If I don't know the kids very well, I double check with the parents to make sure I'm not giving their kid something that will be "accidentally" lost. "Make a Gucci Wallet for Auntie Tova" kit is always a hit.

Rule #4: Don't obviously re-gift. Look, there is nothing wrong with re-gifting. Want to re-gift me a bottle of Moet? Dude, yes. Want to re-gift me "Chicken Soup for the Methodist Soul"? Dude, noooo. Know thy receiver!

Rule #5: Give a gift with meaning: Once again, listen to what people say. Meaningful gifts are touching and don't have to cost a lot and if you do it right, you can scream "BOOYAH! MADE YOU CRIED! I AM THE GIFT WHISPERER!" because you're classy that way. The best way to find out what is meaningful to someone is to remember stories from their childhood. Sometime in July, ask them about their favourite childhood book/toy/item of clothing (Brownie uniform. I was obsessed with it). Then see if you can find a copy or replica. I guarantee you, you will get some tears. And that is the best gift of all!

A gift should be an indication of your affection for that person, a simple showing that you care that they breathe air. Passive aggressive gifts, while funny, are really not cool. When a person opens a gift, I want to see their eyes widen- from any positive emotion. And so, this is part one of Tova's Guide to Gift Giving... see part II tomorrow for actual gift ideas! Happy Tuesday!

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