Renovating the Christmas Wreath
About 5 years ago I made a Christmas wreath. I had been to Butler's and had seen an awesome wreath made out of Christmas balls and was like "You, I want you on my door!" but then I saw the price and laughed and laughed. So, thinking I was smarter than the average bear, I decided to make one myself. I bought a styrofoam wreath and about 2 dozen balls and heated up my glue gun. I started gluing and quickly realized that I would have to purchase a lot more balls and that glue gun burns are the worst burns of them all. After calculating all I spent on the balls and the skin grafts, I realized I could have purchased the gorgeous wreath at Butler's for about the same price but now it was too late and I had to suck it up and be like "home-made is so much better". and you know what? Not all the time.
Anyway, when I made the wreath, our living room colour scheme was 70's red, orange and brown. I liked it for a couple of years but then after having the Kid, I started hating it and felt like I was living in a MacDonalds and I was about to cut someone. So, with the help of my mom, I re-did the living room in creams and blues and I am still happy with it 2 years later. But, the wreath? No, I couldn't do it anymore. The colours I chose were browns and rusts and I am so done with those colours. So, I came up with a plan this year. I would spray paint the bejeebus out of the wreath. And even though the wreath hangs on our front door, I wanted it to no longer scream "Hey! Fondue and key party in here!".
Yesterday I started feeling like my old self a little - angsty and needing a project - so I headed to the cheapy store around the corner and purchased some cheapy silver spray paint. This morning was spray painting day. The Kid was home so I wasn't able to spray on the balcony because I had visions of him going outside and being all like "Hi, Mommy, what are you do... AHHHH! MY EYES!!" and then we would have to go to the emergency room and that would be a terrible Sunday. I am not a fatalist, I am a realist. So I opted to spray in the apartment building hallway. Unfortunately the light in the hallway in front of our door is out so I threw caution to the wind and started spraying in the dark and I got a little light headed and left the wreath outside to dry. Then the Husband thoughtfully took the Kid to the playground and I decided to bring the wreath inside and see how it looked.
It looked terrible. The spray made it look like it had been in a nuclear holocaust. It looked like a wreath that you would hang to show where Disney characters come to die. It was terrible. So I took it onto the balcony and sprayed some more. And some more. And some more. And then I ran and got some glitter and threw it onto the wreath screaming "I WILL MAKE YOU BEAUTIFUL!" and there was some wind and now our balcony looks like an elf got hammered on spiked eggnog and vomited and yes, I do believe elves vomit glitter. And now the wreath is finished. It is better than before. A little less downtown crack house and little more Downton Abbey. Yes, excellent play on words, yes, kind of. And here it is. Oh God, I think the spray paint loosened the glue...
Anyway, when I made the wreath, our living room colour scheme was 70's red, orange and brown. I liked it for a couple of years but then after having the Kid, I started hating it and felt like I was living in a MacDonalds and I was about to cut someone. So, with the help of my mom, I re-did the living room in creams and blues and I am still happy with it 2 years later. But, the wreath? No, I couldn't do it anymore. The colours I chose were browns and rusts and I am so done with those colours. So, I came up with a plan this year. I would spray paint the bejeebus out of the wreath. And even though the wreath hangs on our front door, I wanted it to no longer scream "Hey! Fondue and key party in here!".
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| Want to come upstairs and see my etchings, baby? |
Yesterday I started feeling like my old self a little - angsty and needing a project - so I headed to the cheapy store around the corner and purchased some cheapy silver spray paint. This morning was spray painting day. The Kid was home so I wasn't able to spray on the balcony because I had visions of him going outside and being all like "Hi, Mommy, what are you do... AHHHH! MY EYES!!" and then we would have to go to the emergency room and that would be a terrible Sunday. I am not a fatalist, I am a realist. So I opted to spray in the apartment building hallway. Unfortunately the light in the hallway in front of our door is out so I threw caution to the wind and started spraying in the dark and I got a little light headed and left the wreath outside to dry. Then the Husband thoughtfully took the Kid to the playground and I decided to bring the wreath inside and see how it looked.
It looked terrible. The spray made it look like it had been in a nuclear holocaust. It looked like a wreath that you would hang to show where Disney characters come to die. It was terrible. So I took it onto the balcony and sprayed some more. And some more. And some more. And then I ran and got some glitter and threw it onto the wreath screaming "I WILL MAKE YOU BEAUTIFUL!" and there was some wind and now our balcony looks like an elf got hammered on spiked eggnog and vomited and yes, I do believe elves vomit glitter. And now the wreath is finished. It is better than before. A little less downtown crack house and little more Downton Abbey. Yes, excellent play on words, yes, kind of. And here it is. Oh God, I think the spray paint loosened the glue...
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| For the love of God wreath, just last until the end of December. Then you will get a burial at sea. |
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