Pizza and Me


1st Real Life Challenge


It’s a happening. I’m going out tonight for dinner. Friends are in town and a group of us are meeting up and at said place they serve pizza. Pizza margerita to be exact. My kryptonite if you will. I could eat pizza every single day. I kid you not. I am definitely not giving it up for the 12 weeks or so but since this outing falls on the second day of Operation Tubetop, I figure I must be strong.

I’ve checked out the website and I figure I will forgo the pizza and have something with chicken. I hate everybody. It’ll be hard, especially after a day of fruit juices and nuts but I will stay strong and focus on the Cosmos that I will be allowing myself to have.

I don’t think y’all are getting the gravity of this situation. My love of pizza is epic. I will knock toddlers out of the way to get a slice, including my own. Seriously. And I’m just talking about cheese pizza. I like thick crust, thin crust, my own crust, stuffed crust.... anything bready that holds the tomato sauce and cheese and smells like perfection. That first hot bite and the gooey cheese and I get all hot and bothered and dear lord I think I’m sweating. When I was on Atkins I made faux pizza crust; there are different variations; cauliflower crust, cheese crust, zucchini crust and so on but I’m sorry, they just can’t compete with regular bread crust.

To even put it into perspective, my brother was turning some single digit age and my parents asked him where he wanted to go for dinner. I do believe I pinched him until he screamed Pizza Hut. And don’t feel sorry for the kid. I had been grooming him for months. I would make him watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles and point out their love of pizza and OMG now that I think about it, I even named our son after one of the turtles. Oh holy hell.

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