Miracle on MA 35
As I wrote yesterday, this morning was the time to head to the magistrat to lengthen my visa. Bureaucracy in Austria is fascinating... if fascinating is a word for torture-inducing controlled chaos. I have had quite a few experiences at the different "abteilung" in Vienna and they are always amusing... again, if amusing is a word for frustrating and de-moralizing.
Now, I know that there isn't a country in the world where their citizens are like "Yaaay! Have to get my passport renewed! This is the best day EVER!" No, nobody enjoys bureaucracy but I do have to say that the Austrians definitely have taken bureaucracy and have made it an art. When I moved back just over 11 years ago, we had to do the whole "I've married a foreigner, let her stay" schtick. Back then all that one had to do was go to the local police station. The one we visited was in the 10th district, fondly known as da hood. We walked in and noted that we needed to take a number from the machine and then we would be called. Only problem? The machine was out of paper. Thus ensued chaos. A number would be called out, the door would buzz and approximately 15 people would try and get in. Man, was I green back then. After a few visits to the bakery and seeing no semblance of a line, I would have had sharpened elbows and would have beat my way through. After an hour we finally made it through the shouting groups of Bosnians, Serbs, Turks and Austrians and came face to face with my "immigration officer". Proud, bearing copious copies of EVERYTHING, we waited to be lauded for the effort. Instead, a portly man, reeking of white wine spritzers, inhaled deeply on his cigarette and then violently stamped everything in front of him. He grunted and said "One year" and that was it.
We repeated a similar process (except for the rare occasion when somebody would have a bigger metaphorical bug up their ass and would ask for copies of that essay you wrote about unicorns when you were 7. It was an awesome PAPER. Shut it) until 5 years ago I was finally given a 5 year visa. That was cause for celebration. But shortly thereafter, I had to apply for "Mutterschutz". The incredible thing about Austria?; amazing benefits when you get preggers. Problem for me was that I had lost my job just before I got pregnant so everything was a bit of a grey zone. I was told that I would not qualify for Mutterschutz but we went and asked anyway because we had received a letter saying that my old company would be responsible for this... which struck me as odd. We went to yet another department of the city and when we were called up to the desk, we explained the situation and I mentioned that my old company was in fact not responsible. The guy said "But you got pregnant while you were there." to which I said "No, one month after" to which he responded with "When was your last period? If your last period happened there then they are responsible." (Next time, Moon Cup for proof) Now I have no problem discussing this with a doctor or nurse but this is NOT something I am willing to discuss in a crowded waiting room with some random man behind glass toying with an ashtray. NOT.AT.ALL. So yeah, that was fun and no, I did not get Mutterschutz. Thank you for asking.
So of course, after at least a dozen visits to these types of establishments, I was a little worried this morning. We showed up at 8:20 and stood in line. Within a minute we were given a number and instructed to wait in the waiting room across the hall. I touched my Kindle reassuringly in my purse and made peace with myself that this would be a long morning. As we both bent down to take our seats, our number was called. We were sure it was a mistake but as soon as we walked in, the woman asked for all of our documents. She asked no questions whatsoever, asked for me to scan my fingerprints and then informed us that the visa would be available in 2 weeks for pick up. That.was.it. 15 minutes from start to finish. My mind was blown.
When I posted on Facebook about how in shock I was over the brevity and ease of the application, a couple of people said that they had had similar experiences recently. Huhhh. Vienna? Are you changing? Are you a Judy Blume villain, making personal and emotional gains? I sure hope so because today's service was AWESOME! 5 more years! 5 more years!
Now, I know that there isn't a country in the world where their citizens are like "Yaaay! Have to get my passport renewed! This is the best day EVER!" No, nobody enjoys bureaucracy but I do have to say that the Austrians definitely have taken bureaucracy and have made it an art. When I moved back just over 11 years ago, we had to do the whole "I've married a foreigner, let her stay" schtick. Back then all that one had to do was go to the local police station. The one we visited was in the 10th district, fondly known as da hood. We walked in and noted that we needed to take a number from the machine and then we would be called. Only problem? The machine was out of paper. Thus ensued chaos. A number would be called out, the door would buzz and approximately 15 people would try and get in. Man, was I green back then. After a few visits to the bakery and seeing no semblance of a line, I would have had sharpened elbows and would have beat my way through. After an hour we finally made it through the shouting groups of Bosnians, Serbs, Turks and Austrians and came face to face with my "immigration officer". Proud, bearing copious copies of EVERYTHING, we waited to be lauded for the effort. Instead, a portly man, reeking of white wine spritzers, inhaled deeply on his cigarette and then violently stamped everything in front of him. He grunted and said "One year" and that was it.
We repeated a similar process (except for the rare occasion when somebody would have a bigger metaphorical bug up their ass and would ask for copies of that essay you wrote about unicorns when you were 7. It was an awesome PAPER. Shut it) until 5 years ago I was finally given a 5 year visa. That was cause for celebration. But shortly thereafter, I had to apply for "Mutterschutz". The incredible thing about Austria?; amazing benefits when you get preggers. Problem for me was that I had lost my job just before I got pregnant so everything was a bit of a grey zone. I was told that I would not qualify for Mutterschutz but we went and asked anyway because we had received a letter saying that my old company would be responsible for this... which struck me as odd. We went to yet another department of the city and when we were called up to the desk, we explained the situation and I mentioned that my old company was in fact not responsible. The guy said "But you got pregnant while you were there." to which I said "No, one month after" to which he responded with "When was your last period? If your last period happened there then they are responsible." (Next time, Moon Cup for proof) Now I have no problem discussing this with a doctor or nurse but this is NOT something I am willing to discuss in a crowded waiting room with some random man behind glass toying with an ashtray. NOT.AT.ALL. So yeah, that was fun and no, I did not get Mutterschutz. Thank you for asking.
So of course, after at least a dozen visits to these types of establishments, I was a little worried this morning. We showed up at 8:20 and stood in line. Within a minute we were given a number and instructed to wait in the waiting room across the hall. I touched my Kindle reassuringly in my purse and made peace with myself that this would be a long morning. As we both bent down to take our seats, our number was called. We were sure it was a mistake but as soon as we walked in, the woman asked for all of our documents. She asked no questions whatsoever, asked for me to scan my fingerprints and then informed us that the visa would be available in 2 weeks for pick up. That.was.it. 15 minutes from start to finish. My mind was blown.
When I posted on Facebook about how in shock I was over the brevity and ease of the application, a couple of people said that they had had similar experiences recently. Huhhh. Vienna? Are you changing? Are you a Judy Blume villain, making personal and emotional gains? I sure hope so because today's service was AWESOME! 5 more years! 5 more years!
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