Operation Tubetop

If you are a fan of Reality TV like I am (I need help, I really do), then you should definitely check out this site! http://cinderellasglasscloset.com/  Lindsey is the owner of the site and the tagline states: Welcome to the home of the FIRST POSITIVE BLOG as of APRIL 2011. We have been leading the POSITIVE craze ever since! I like the sound of that. Too often we are inundated with negativity, ripping into people one doesn't even know, laughing at others' misfortune, etc. Once in a while, reading something positive is good for the soul. Will I give up juicy gossip sites? Oh hells no, but I like this site for being different! The site is filled with interviews by reality stars, news, fashion and of course updates about the reality TV world. I have just joined Twitter so if you would like to follow me check out @tmspatz

Here is the caloric breakdown of the Operation Tubetop Cocktail (Lemon Crystal Light, Absolut Raspberri Vodka, Splash of lime juice, and 2 fresh raspberries) 1 Oz shot of Absolut Raspberri Vodka- 69 Calories Portion of Lemon Crystal Light- Fewer than 5 calories Lime juice (splash)- 1-2 calories 2 Fresh Raspberries- 2 calories Total: Fewer than 77 calories per drink Not bad and it is low carb as well. I'll drink to that!

So we are into week 4 and here is a pic (in real life I am into week 9)... Looking a little bit more tanned and my hair is lighter... badly done... but lighter... (please ignore the messy bedroom and the crap on the mirror. Tape in this country sucks. And Saran Wrap too!)

Self Tanner Review - Gosh Mousse Self Tanner Oh self tanner! We have such a love hate relationship... Meaning, I love to hate you. I spend money on you every Spring and everytime you leave me looking a streaky orangey mess. I thought I had given up on you until I met Gosh Mousse. Oh thank you heavens above. I finally have found something that works! WOOT WOOT! I have spent hours researching self tanners and application methods and without fail, nothing ever seemed to work. Without doing any research, I picked up the Gosh stuff (about Euros 12,99) and decided to give it a try. I also bought their Buffing Selt Tan mit because what the hell, life is short. I made sure I had exfoliated the night before (read: scrubbed self with salt scrub). I applied the Gosh stuff to my legs and arms and chest and face and neck. The mousse spreads well and what it great is that it is coloured and you can see where it goes on. Applying it with the mit helps make the tan more even. I slept w...

If you haven't watched the show...here is a little glimpse into the opening credits... Pretty crazy And well, here is a typical day in the life of the OC Housewives... Yes, this is real (reality tv)...No judging.

My friends rave about getting their bodies waxed. By a professional.. well, I thought, I too can get waxed, for cheaper! Ha ha! I am so clever! To the drug store! To purchase no name wax strips! I wish future me would have slapped me upside the head and hit me with a shoe. I’m not a very hairy person, I am, however, fluffy, goose downy if you will. I have just ensured that any male who reads this will never ever find me attractive ever. So I bought a kit (the no name brand because saving a Euro is a Euro saved. I am so dumb ). Drank a couple of Operation Tubetop cocktails and bared my leg with the Husband watching me in confusion. “You have no hair on your legs? What are you waxing?” I told him to shut it and proceeded to warm the wax between my hands, place it on the front of my calf and with a mighty heave ho.. Son of a bitch! I think I took skin off! Actually, I know for sure I took skin off because where the strip was is now a white square while the rest of my leg is self-tann...

And so we move into Week 4! Woot woot! Eating Plan Week 4 Tuesday: Day: Sandwich and joghurt Dinner: Bagel with mozzarella Wednesday: Day: Sandwich and joghurt Dinner: Falafel and hummous in a pita Thursday: Day: Sandwich and joghurt Dinner: Hot pocket chicken panini (Addicted to these!) Friday: Day: Sandwich and joghurt Dinner: Veggie and cheese bagel sandwich Saturday: Day: Bowl of Cheerios Dinner:Dinner out Sunday: Day: Yoghurt Dinner: Date night with the Husband! Monday: Day: Bowl of cheerios Dinner: Kappa Maki and a bowl of rice

As I come to the end of week 3, I have realised that while I might be eating a lot better, I have still not conquered my bad eating habits. I have always struggled with my weight and slight eating disorder. I am prone to binging (especially on the weekends) and it is a daily struggle to rise above it. I am a lot better than I used to be but every now and then I become ravenous. I hate using the term "binge" because based on what I have read, a binge is often a million times worse than what I do: I tend to overeat and then I feel guilty and overeat some more (but yes, perhaps this is binging, too). It is a cycle that I am slowly overcoming. A couple of books that I have read recently have helped put my eating into perspective and I thought I would share them with you... Brain over Binge by Kathryn Hansen - this book is actually pretty great. She describes her theory behind binges and how she overcame it. I truly recommend this book if you feel that you have a history of bin...

I love me some cocktails but often they are overpriced, require a huge amount of ingredients (ie. sweat from a cabana boy) and are often packed with sugar. I wanted a drink that I could drink in the evenings and not feel guilty (I'm looking at you White Russians). And eventhough I am a big wine drinker, hot summer nights seem better suited to something fruity and cold and so... here it is the Operation Tubetop Cocktail A martini glass Ice cube Premade Crystl Light in lemon flavour Splash of lime juice A couple of raspberries A shot of Absolut raspberry Take a martinin glass, add the shot of vodka, splash of lime, ice cube and the raspberries, top the rest with Crystal Light and there you have it... Operation Tubetop... Sugar free and fairly low cal! I would be drinking one now but it is 9 in the morning and I have a son to admire me and not shame me.. Happy hour later!

Product Review BB Face Cream by Garnier I read a couple of reviews about this stuff and the people were raving! Since I am slave to advertising or mere suggestions, I decided to pick this stuff up. It is around 9 Euros and found at Bipa (Austrian drugstore). I am quite impressed. It goes on a little oily but once it is set it feels great. If you aren’t used to foundation this might not be the product for you. I schmear foundation on everyday so I was happy to a weekend alternative. I was hoping for heavier coverage but then I googled and saw that this can be used as a primer/base. Well, then, that is just what I did today and oh my goodness am I pleased with the results! Great coverage, no caking and cracking and my skin looks pretty even. Once I get the fake tan on I will definitely have to get the BB stufff in a shade darker. Go forth! Buy!

Friday Night Plans I don’t really have any plans except making dinner and then watching TV with the husband but I do have some beauty maintenance planned for the evening. When did Fridays become so dull? Oh, right, nevermind. But I jest because next weekend is going to be wild so I might as well have a few quiet nights to gear up for the parties coming up. Tonight I will be, wait for it, trimming my own hair. Reasons for attempting something so stupid: 1) I have so little time to book a hair appointment and actually show up. 2) If you get me in a chair in a salon I will buckle under pressure and agree to whatever the stylist recommends. “GI Jane look is back in? Go for it!” 3) A stylist, upon looking at the current state of my hair, will most likely shame me. I feel enough shame. I don’t need to pay for it, thank you very much. So I will give my hair a little wash, comb it out, and attempt to cut these split ends out of my life. Giddy up! Update: It actually wor...

Product Review - Lip Fusion A friend gave me an Amazon.com gift certficate so I decided to buy something completely unrelated from books and which would cost a fortune to ship from the States. And since I was in such an OC housewife mood, I purchased a limp plumper. I have a small upper lip and since I am not a man, growing a stache is not an option, well, at least not until I am in my 80’s and yelling “Eff you all!” to small children passing by my porch. But I digress. I have hated my upper lip for years and people like Angelina Jolie just make me feel worse about that line up there that poses as a lip. And I guess it is time to let go of the Team Aniston banner I’ve been waving all these years. So many things to do! But anyway, my lip is constantly on the search for a plumper that actually works so that I too can stop staring at myself doing the “duckface”. So anyway, I received Lip Fusion in Rhinestone and having no patience, I whipped it out and applied it immediately. Ti...

Eating Plan Week 3 Tuesday: Day: Sandwich and joghurt Dinner: Panini sandwhich and half a Jamaican beef patty Wednesday: Day: Sandwich and joghurt Dinner: Grilled cheese with brown bread, light fresh mozzarella and pesto Thursday: Day: Sandwich and joghurt Dinner: Grilled cheese with brown bread, light fresh mozzarella and pesto Friday: Day: Sandwich and joghurt Dinner: Pita with Chik patty and onion Saturday: Day: Bowl of Cheerios Dinner:Burger in a pita Sunday: Day: Yoghurt Dinner: Garlic soup with pizza bread Monday: Day: Sandwich and joghurt Dinner: McDonalds grilled chicken wrap

Operation Tube Top Week 3 And so we begin this week after a weekend of horrific eating. Staying at a hotel and mother’s day led to an all eating orgy and the only thing to do is to brush myself up and suck in my gut. This week will involve the use of Veet cream for my legs, a product review on a new lip plumper I got and hair nourishing products. Oh how exciting! Stay tuned.

Living like a housewife I took the day off today because I had some extra time and I needed a little time off. Since I didn’t get a workout in on Tuesday morning, I ended up going twice. A little excessive? Yes, you could say so. I hurt a lot tonight but it will be worth it. I really enjoyed the day and remembered what it was like to stay at home and yes, I kinda missed it. I like working, no joke but now with the kid around, I miss him like all sorts of crazy. I would have gone shopping for some clothes but I feel like I need to hold off until some more weight drops off and then I can get all crazy with my wardrobe choices. So how does a Housewife dress? Here’s a great site that shows where you can get some of the outfits worn on Bravo’s series. I think this is a super cool idea. http://www.bigblondehair.com/ I am also aiming to make a couple of dresses for the summer and what I wear on the weekends is very very different from what I wear to work. I am quite a conserva...

I thought, for those not familiar with the OC Housewives, (whose season is ending shortly- no!! Don't leave me!!), I thought I would post a couple of pictures of the ladies. I know I won't look like them in 11 weeks from now but nothing gives me motivation like unrealistic goals... And the Grammy goes to... This here is Gretchen. Her body is amazing... Wearing white, by a pool or pond or something Here she is closer up. Note to self: buy fake eyelashes... And here we have Alexis Bellino. Also dubbed Jesus Barbie. She kinda cracks me up and even though I was really not a fan of her in the past, I'm feeling bad for her this season...Well maybe not, the dress is awful.. A close up of Alexis.. And then there is Tamra who has become the Mean Girl.. Adult women need to stop with the mean girl crap. We got enough crap to deal with: spouses, kids, jobs, cellulite, unaffordable clothes... let's just all get a long. And well, I am in love with this w...

Budget Beauty Regime As I mentioned back in a post, I need to find ways to keep the costs down. And I have decided that Sunday evenings are the perfect time to implement my weekly facials. So the other night after the child went to bed, I mixed the baking soda with the water and rubbed my face for few minutes (circular rubbing, paired with the soothing sounds of drag racing and the Husband yelling “You have to see this! The cars have parachutes!”) Wash of baking soda and don’t miss that space near your eye lest you think you have an eye infection and that is crusty stuff (true story). Dry your face and notice some difference? After the poor man’s microdermabrasion, I moved on to the Aspirin facial. After washing that off, my face looked good (tight and shiny). I then coated my face and decollete with coconut oil and headed to bed saying I had a headache or something. My face does feel softer. I have to make sure to do the above routine at least once or twice a week. If no...

Holla! One week down! Onto week 2. I didn't eat great on the weekend but otherwise I stuck to plan. Here is the menu for the next week... Operation Tubetop Week 2   Tuesday: Day: Bowl of Cheerios Dinner: Turkish bread and cheese from the Switzerland (a family friend gave us cheese) Wednesday: Day: Bowl of Cheerios Dinner: Chicken burgers with pita and homemade low fat tzatziki Thursday: Day: Half a liter of OJ mixed with raspberries, rice crackers, lots of water, and some coffee Dinner: Chicken fajitas with whole wheat tortillas. Friday: Day: Bowl of Cheerios, chocolate milk and water. Dinner: Chicken curry and rice with cilantro pitas Saturday: Day: Bowl of Cheerios Dinner: Taco sald with tortilla wholewheat bowl Sunday: Day: Yoghurt Dinner: McDonalds wrap Monday: Day: Half a liter of OJ mixed with raspberries, nuts, lots of water, and some coffee Dinner: Egg beaters with an English Muffin

1st Real Life Challenge It’s a happening. I’m going out tonight for dinner. Friends are in town and a group of us are meeting up and at said place they serve pizza. Pizza margerita to be exact. My kryptonite if you will. I could eat pizza every single day. I kid you not. I am definitely not giving it up for the 12 weeks or so but since this outing falls on the second day of Operation Tubetop, I figure I must be strong. I’ve checked out the website and I figure I will forgo the pizza and have something with chicken. I hate everybody. It’ll be hard, especially after a day of fruit juices and nuts but I will stay strong and focus on the Cosmos that I will be allowing myself to have. I don’t think y’all are getting the gravity of this situation. My love of pizza is epic. I will knock toddlers out of the way to get a slice, including my own. Seriously. And I’m just talking about cheese pizza. I like thick crust, thin crust, my own crust, stuffed crust.... anything bready that ...

My hair. I am so sorry. I’ve treated you horrendously and it is only going to get worse. Much much worse. I have had every colour under the sun and it all started with a stupid henna rinse I tried when I was about 16. My mother loved the result and for the next year or two I would go to the Body Shop and purchase their hippie loving stink ass patchouli compost henna dye. It was the only product I was allowed to use to dye my hair. Oh the horror. In the laundry room in the basement I would mix a tub of this green gag inducing stuff and mix it with boiling water. I am not known for my patience so I would not wait long enough and therefore slap that boiling crap onto my head and swear in pain telling myself “it is worth it. It is worth it.”. And then I’d stand there with my head steaming and smelling like a farm (edit: a farm in HELL) and wait 45 minutes. Then I would wash that crap out and watch it plonk onto the tub flour. After at least 30 minutes of rinsing I would be good to go and m...

Working on my fitness   I joined a gym in February. It is across the street and is one of the only ones in this city that has good hours. A few weeks ago, I read a bulletin board advertising a ladies gym and the hours were something like Monday to Friday 11 am to 6 pm Saturdays 2 pm to 5 pm. Sundays closed. Yeah, totally practical. The employees must love working there, if it hasn’t closed already due to the ridiculous hours. My gym, slightly guido, (I can write that now because it is used all the time due to the brilliance of Jersey Shore) is amazing and cheap and even has a women’s section that is excellent. Reasons that this gym is excellent: Opens at 6 a.m. and closes at midnight (not that I have ever had the possibility or urge to get one more session in at 11 p.m.) Price, oh the price is the lowest of the low for Europe (19 Euros a month) Location Ladies section that is actually filled with enough machines AND is right beside the changing rooms so I don’t ...

This Week’s Menu- Week 1 With Tubetop Operation, diet is a big part of it. My Californyan friend told me that sushi, avocados and nothing super processed is the way to go. Below is an what I’ve got planned for the week (including what I made last night, first day of the operation). I’m cutting down on the cheese and looking to eat lighter. OH MY GOD I’M STARVING! I jest, I really am not. And just in case you didn’t know, I am not a doctor or a nutritionist and I am NOT promoting this as a diet. And this is what has worked for me so no haters. Tuesday : (cause that’s the day I started) Day: Half a liter of OJ mixed with raspberries, nuts, lots of water, and some coffee Dinner: Asian veggie wraps (they were ammmaaaazing...) Wednesday : Day: Half a liter of OJ mixed with raspberries, nuts, lots of water, and some coffee Dinner: Not pizza (sob) but Carribbean chicken and rice Thursday : Day: Half a liter of OJ mixed with raspberries, nuts, lots of water, a...

I’m starting today. It’s a Tuesday at the beginning of May. A typical weekday for me is as follows: 5:40 Alarm goes off. 5:55 Dressed in sweats and out the door 6:03 In the gym and on the crosstrainer 6:43 Off the crosstrainer. Sunglasses on for the 2 minute walk back home. I go beet red after exercise. I can’t even bend over lest I blush. And sunglasses in size XXL will protect me from the paparazzi and/or homeless men in the park 7:00 Showered and hair a mess. Get kid (who stinks) out of bed. Change him. Dress him. Feed him. And then allow him to gaze at me adoringly (read: eat my blush) while I do my make up on the sofa in the living room (only place with natural light). 8:00 Wonderful father and husband straps kid up in stroller and takes him to daycare while I chug my coffee and head to work. 8:30-6:00 Work and stuff 6:00 Home and with kid. Thank our amazing nanny and send her home. Play with kid and wait for husband to get home. 6:45 Kid in bed. Me in...

This is me, before the start of Operation Tubetop. Stay tuned for pictorial updates... dun dun duuuunnnn.

Ok. I’ll admit it. I’m vain. I always have been and I might always be. But that doesn’t make me a bad person, does it? Listen, I’m short, I’ve always struggled with my weight and I am not classically beautiful. Even at my highest weight I never heard “You have such a pretty face.” Honestly? I would have killed for that. To tell you the truth, I have never been called beautiful without prompting. “SAY I’M BEAUTIFUL MR. BARTENDER AND I’LL LET GO OF YOUR NETHER REGIONS!!!” Low self-esteem? Oh yes. But to a point. I’ve got some good things going for me. I have a husband who is my rock, who adores me and loves me (excuse the Bridget Jones theft) just the way I am. I’m a good mother. Well, most of the times. There was that one afternoon when my kid was kvetching and I told him to man up and didn’t realise he had bitten his lip because he can’t talk yet and there was blood all over his chin and sob. But really, I am a good mother and the little gimp is my life. And I am a good friend. I am lo...