Fake it Until You Make it, Oder?

Well, here I am in the press center. I got in and spent about 25 minutes trying to get my blasted computer to start working. I have been like a pack mule today; camera, laptop, Kindle, wallet (the Louis V is a monster), daytimer and an assortment of lip gloss... oh and also a large amount of self importance. I tried to dress "journalistic cool". Navy and cream t-shirt dress, navy light cardigan and beige ballerinas, beige pashmina with my cheap aviators. I wanted to come across as "competent and do-this-shit-all-the-time" and yet carrying all the above crap has turned me into a harried cruiser schwitzing allover. I oh so coolly entered the press section security where my bags were x-rayed and then I made my way into the grand press hall and literally grabbed the first seat closest to the entrance lest I sweat on real and important journalists.

So yesterday was the press reception and also Mother's Day. In the morning I took an early morning walk with my friend and then I got home and looked at Pinterest and suddenly the Kid came in holding presents and it was adorable because he was still half asleep. He "got" me an awesome vintage necklace and a Forever 21 gift certificate (obviously he doesn't read my blog). It was a great morning and then we headed to the Peruvian restaurant with the awesome garden for lunch with the In Laws. After lunch I got changed and made my way to the Stadthalle for a press reception, feeling confident... kind of.

Now, maybe it is because I grew up in a fancy schmancy world, but when I see "reception" on an invite, I assume there will be champagne, flowers, maybe something with chives and people saying stuff like; "Sartre is less sartorial and more sardonic. Heh. Heh." or "Last time we holidayed in the Hamptons, Bader-Ginsberg had the funniest little story about elderberries." Yeah, no. We were ushered through security and I stood around like the new girl on her first day at school. Everybody seems to have a buddy and I literally was in my head screaming "SOMEBODY TALK TO ME! ANYBODY! I AM HILARIOUS! EVEN FUNNIER WHEN THERE IS BOOZE! WHY IS THERE NO BOOZE?!?" I tried to chuckle at the right times while eavesdropping when waiting for the tour of the press conference room but the pack of Swedish journalists didn't even look down once. Then the Scottish team draped their flag across a table that I planned to sit at and blatantly ignored me. Gah! People had their camera crews and I took out my cell phone and took a picture of the venue and excitedly wrote how "Surreal" everything was. I think I gave off the desperation vibe.

The tour lasted about a couple of hours and there were speeches and it is all very very exciting. I won't lie, I feel like I am totally faking it until I make it but that is ok. There are about 1700 journalists and there must be at least one here that will want to talk to me. Maybe I will wear a low top tomorrow. I mean, there is a guy wearing a polo shirt covered in 50 flags and he just found a buddy! Da hell? Oh well, I have time. Operation Get A Buddy will be implemented tomorrow. Now where is my push up bra? #foreveralone

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