A Nostalgic Night and a Recap of Letters to Juliet
Yesterday after work, I met a friend for some drinks and then headed home around 6 to relieve the Nanny. I decided that my previous glasses of wine would be best paired with some Alanis Morissette because why not. I pulled up Youtube and treated myself to the complete album of Jagged Little Pill which had been my anthem of MY LIFE back in the 90s. I lived in Vienna at the time and the Internet didn't really exist so whenever somebody visited from North America we all acted like some penal colony. What news do thy bring from the old world?!? My sister brought news, she brought ALANIS!
The Kid was not impressed with his mother singing "CAUSE I'M HERE TO REMIND YOU OF THE MESS YOU MADE!!!" while clutching a wooden spoon and making pasta. Man, did it bring back memories. I would listen to that album over and over and over, crying and singing and thinking "Man, Alanis gets me. She totally gets me." Because yes, I was 15 living in a house overlooking vineyards, attending a private school, barely drank and yet Mary Jane totally spoke to me. I remember those times vividly and how desperate I was to fall in love and to be loved and when I wasn't reading romance novels and dreaming about being a flight attendant, I was watching romantic comedies. When I was 15, my parents took us to Tuscany for a summer holiday. We rented (like I was involved in the process) a place just outside of Sienna and it was spectacular. From the moment we arrived, my love for Italy exploded and to this day I am in love with all things Italian: food, wine, music, architecture, shoes... and so every once in a while I will have an overwhelming desire to watch anything about Italy.
Already a few glass into Zweigelt, and more than half way through Alanis' best WORK EVER, I said to the Husband "We are going to watch Under the Tuscan Sun because I said so." and I think I might have slurred. Hey, I was full of all the feels from re-living my angsty teenage years and well, kind of full of wine. We put the Kid to bed and then I set up the DVD but it didn't work because the stupid DVD is North American and I wanted to cry. But then I remembered we had Letters to Juliet which also takes place in Italy and yes, let us watch that!
Now, I have already seen this film. Over a year ago, the Husband was home sick and in bed and watching TV and he ended up watching Letters to Juliet and could not stop raving about it. So he bought the DVD for me as a surprise. We watched it while a summer storm passed by and I believe I had had a lot of wine so I had fond memories of the film. Well, we watched it last night and, um, it ain't great. Let me give you a summary of said film (warning spoilers) and then you can decide whether you want to watch it or not. Maybe I was just bitter after my Alanis karaoke for 1 session? Who knows.
We start off with a blonde woman (Amanda Seyfried, and I cannot remember her name in the film because she is so darn forgettable as a main character) living in New York and being a fact checker for the New Yorker because of course she does. She really really wants to be a writer because of course she does. She visits her fiancee (Gael Garcia Bernal (love him)) Viktor who is opening up a restaurant and he feeds her fresh pasta he has made and he is full of so much pep that you wonder if he has a cocaine addiction. The chemistry between them is that of the chemistry between a carrot and a potato. Listen lady, your hot fiancee just fed you homemade pasta in his almost set up restaurant in New York and is taking you to Italy for a couple of weeks so the least you could do is crack a damn smile. They arrive in Verona and Viktor gets straight to work. She's been calling it their "pre-honeymoon" and he is there to meet with potential suppliers for his restaurant. You can see where this can be a problem of communication. They spend their time tasting wine and tasting cheese and she has this bitch face throughout and I want to slap her and yell "Lady! This is the BEST HOLIDAY EVER!" At this point the Husband points out that he is pretty much ignoring her and that is why she feels upset and I respond with "Have you seen me with cheese and wine? I ignore you!" and that ends the conversation. Amanda (whatever her name is) suggests that Viktor continues fulfilling his life long dream and she will take a walk around Verona. She spies a small courtyard.
In the courtyard (apparently Juliet's balcony courtyard thing) she sees various women writing letters and crying and then posting said letters to a wall. I'm not sure what they are using to stick the letters to the wall but I'm pretty sure their chewed up gum? Yuck. After everybody leaves, a beautiful Italian woman with a basket gathers all the letters and Amanda follows her out of the courtyard and through a restaurant and up some stairs and into a room where three other women are working. Nobody seems pissed that she has pretty much walked into the place of business and they explain that they write every letter back as "Juliet". Because yes, a 13 year old girl who ends up killing herself over Leonardo Di Caprio is the best person to give advice on matters of the heart. "Do you like me? Yes? No? LOL. STAB STAB STAB." Cough, anyway. Amanda ends up finding a letter from 50 years ago behind a loose stone (because apparently nobody has ever accidentally discovered this). Amanda reads this letter written by a woman who is 15 (girl, a girl who is 15) and decides to respond. And then, a couple of days later, lo and behold, Claire (the no longer 15 year old, 50 years later) is in Verona with her unromantic and surly grandson to hunt down her first love.
Good news for Amanda! Viktor is still busy with suppliers because that was the whole point of taking your ungrateful ass to ITALY, AMANDA! So she can join along and hunt down Lorenzo while writing about it because she wants to be a writer, y'all! Thus begins the great Lorenzo hunt. Of course there are a lot of Lorenzos in Tuscany so Claire ends up meeting a whole crew of different elderly Italian men. Oh, did I mention that Claire is played by Vanessa Redgrave? No? Well, if you look closely enough you can see that she dies a little inside when she realizes she is in a film like this. Amanda and surly grandson Charlie banter and make passive aggressive remarks because filmmakers would like us to believe that all great romances start off as hate first. We find out that Charlie, besides being a posh Brit (he says "Quite" a lot) is also a human rights lawyer because OF COURSE HE IS! His parents died in a car crash when he was young so Claire raised him and he is protective of her and that is why he is surly. Meanwhile Amanda was abandoned by her mother when she was nine and according to Claire that is worse because her mother chose to abandon her and WHAT?!
Meanwhile, hyperactive Viktor is in Livorno at a wine auction and having the time of his life because a wine auction is AWESOME! Amanda is spending her time in the back seat of a rental writing about driving through Tuscany while searching for Lorenzo and how does she not get sick? As the days pass, we can feel the sexual tension between Amanda and Charlie because YOU ARE IN ONE OF THE MOST BEAUTIFUL REGIONS OF THE WORLD, DRINKING WINE AND STAYING IN A 5 STAR HOTEL IN SIENNA. There would be sexual tension between me and a chair if I were doing the same thing. Charlie, Amanda, wake up at 3 in the morning to give your baby a bottle and then show me that sexual tension. AHAHAHA. Man, I'm cynical. Moving on. They end up briefly kissing because they are IN TUSCANY DRINKING WINE. I would make out with a door!
Finally Claire finds Lorenzo in a vineyard on a horse. Snort. Luckily he is a widower as is she so HAPPY DAYS! They have lunch with his family and they are in love and they literally just re-united 5 minutes ago. You know nothing about each other! Amanda heads back to Verona and Charlie looks wistfully off into the distance and Claire tells him to go "get her" because she is all hopped up on Lorenzo love and just a tad too smug. He gets into his car and drives to Verona. He gets there and looks up at the hotel balcony and Amanda is standing there and he is about to say something but DAMNATION, Viktor joins her and hugs her and is hopped up on something too. So Charlie leaves and we are left cursing the stars!
Amanda is back in New York and her story gets published by the New Yorker because the New Yorker is all about romantic stories taking place in Italy (I'm not smart enough to read the New Yorker but I am assuming, yes?). Amanda gets a letter at her work but instead of going to her desk to open the letter, she leaves and sits in a pretty park because apparently fact checkers have very liberal work policies. Inside is an invitation to Lorenzo and Claire's wedding in Tuscany. At this point a Taylor Swift song comes on so you know we are getting to the end... God I hope so. Amanda visits Viktor at his restaurant that is about to open and tells him that she is going to Tuscany alone, without him. He understands that she is breaking up with him, just before the opening of his restaurant because she is a tool. Opening a restaurant must be one of the most incredibly stressful things to do ever and she chooses now to do this? Wow, Viktor, better now than later, bro, amirite?
Next thing we see is Amanda driving through Tuscany because fact checkers make a lot of money apparently and she shows up at the wedding and she sees Charlie but he is with a girl who she assumes is the Patricia that he used to date. The wedding is lovely, Amanda looks nice in sage green, Charlie stares at her, people drink wine and then Claire reads out loud the "Juliet" letter that Amanda wrote her in response to the 50 year old letter. Amanda gets all verklempt because she probably has just realized she broke up with the next Wolfgang Puck and for lack of better terms she is probably pucked. She runs off and Charlie chases after her. She ends up on a balcony magically because you all remember this film is called Letters to Juliet. He declares his love and she is like "Nu uh, you be with that slut whore Patricia!" and he does the whole face palm "No, you misunderstood, Patricia is my cousin!" at which point he should have pointed out that they aren't actually dating yet so technically he can boink anybody. But he doesn't and then he says they can split their time between New York and London. Listen, slow it down there cowboy. He falls off the tree that he was climbing to get to her and then she runs down and he is on the ground and she kisses him and then everybody from the wedding gathers around and watches them make out so she has taken the attention off the bride on her special day, you wench, Amanda. The end.
I guess I have become a little too cynical. I used to be all about the romance but last night I found myself saying "blah blah blah" during Charlie's declaration of love. I should blame Alanis.
The Kid was not impressed with his mother singing "CAUSE I'M HERE TO REMIND YOU OF THE MESS YOU MADE!!!" while clutching a wooden spoon and making pasta. Man, did it bring back memories. I would listen to that album over and over and over, crying and singing and thinking "Man, Alanis gets me. She totally gets me." Because yes, I was 15 living in a house overlooking vineyards, attending a private school, barely drank and yet Mary Jane totally spoke to me. I remember those times vividly and how desperate I was to fall in love and to be loved and when I wasn't reading romance novels and dreaming about being a flight attendant, I was watching romantic comedies. When I was 15, my parents took us to Tuscany for a summer holiday. We rented (like I was involved in the process) a place just outside of Sienna and it was spectacular. From the moment we arrived, my love for Italy exploded and to this day I am in love with all things Italian: food, wine, music, architecture, shoes... and so every once in a while I will have an overwhelming desire to watch anything about Italy.
Already a few glass into Zweigelt, and more than half way through Alanis' best WORK EVER, I said to the Husband "We are going to watch Under the Tuscan Sun because I said so." and I think I might have slurred. Hey, I was full of all the feels from re-living my angsty teenage years and well, kind of full of wine. We put the Kid to bed and then I set up the DVD but it didn't work because the stupid DVD is North American and I wanted to cry. But then I remembered we had Letters to Juliet which also takes place in Italy and yes, let us watch that!
Now, I have already seen this film. Over a year ago, the Husband was home sick and in bed and watching TV and he ended up watching Letters to Juliet and could not stop raving about it. So he bought the DVD for me as a surprise. We watched it while a summer storm passed by and I believe I had had a lot of wine so I had fond memories of the film. Well, we watched it last night and, um, it ain't great. Let me give you a summary of said film (warning spoilers) and then you can decide whether you want to watch it or not. Maybe I was just bitter after my Alanis karaoke for 1 session? Who knows.
We start off with a blonde woman (Amanda Seyfried, and I cannot remember her name in the film because she is so darn forgettable as a main character) living in New York and being a fact checker for the New Yorker because of course she does. She really really wants to be a writer because of course she does. She visits her fiancee (Gael Garcia Bernal (love him)) Viktor who is opening up a restaurant and he feeds her fresh pasta he has made and he is full of so much pep that you wonder if he has a cocaine addiction. The chemistry between them is that of the chemistry between a carrot and a potato. Listen lady, your hot fiancee just fed you homemade pasta in his almost set up restaurant in New York and is taking you to Italy for a couple of weeks so the least you could do is crack a damn smile. They arrive in Verona and Viktor gets straight to work. She's been calling it their "pre-honeymoon" and he is there to meet with potential suppliers for his restaurant. You can see where this can be a problem of communication. They spend their time tasting wine and tasting cheese and she has this bitch face throughout and I want to slap her and yell "Lady! This is the BEST HOLIDAY EVER!" At this point the Husband points out that he is pretty much ignoring her and that is why she feels upset and I respond with "Have you seen me with cheese and wine? I ignore you!" and that ends the conversation. Amanda (whatever her name is) suggests that Viktor continues fulfilling his life long dream and she will take a walk around Verona. She spies a small courtyard.
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| Wow, look how empty and romantic it looks. |
Good news for Amanda! Viktor is still busy with suppliers because that was the whole point of taking your ungrateful ass to ITALY, AMANDA! So she can join along and hunt down Lorenzo while writing about it because she wants to be a writer, y'all! Thus begins the great Lorenzo hunt. Of course there are a lot of Lorenzos in Tuscany so Claire ends up meeting a whole crew of different elderly Italian men. Oh, did I mention that Claire is played by Vanessa Redgrave? No? Well, if you look closely enough you can see that she dies a little inside when she realizes she is in a film like this. Amanda and surly grandson Charlie banter and make passive aggressive remarks because filmmakers would like us to believe that all great romances start off as hate first. We find out that Charlie, besides being a posh Brit (he says "Quite" a lot) is also a human rights lawyer because OF COURSE HE IS! His parents died in a car crash when he was young so Claire raised him and he is protective of her and that is why he is surly. Meanwhile Amanda was abandoned by her mother when she was nine and according to Claire that is worse because her mother chose to abandon her and WHAT?!
Meanwhile, hyperactive Viktor is in Livorno at a wine auction and having the time of his life because a wine auction is AWESOME! Amanda is spending her time in the back seat of a rental writing about driving through Tuscany while searching for Lorenzo and how does she not get sick? As the days pass, we can feel the sexual tension between Amanda and Charlie because YOU ARE IN ONE OF THE MOST BEAUTIFUL REGIONS OF THE WORLD, DRINKING WINE AND STAYING IN A 5 STAR HOTEL IN SIENNA. There would be sexual tension between me and a chair if I were doing the same thing. Charlie, Amanda, wake up at 3 in the morning to give your baby a bottle and then show me that sexual tension. AHAHAHA. Man, I'm cynical. Moving on. They end up briefly kissing because they are IN TUSCANY DRINKING WINE. I would make out with a door!
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| We are both so pretty. |
Amanda is back in New York and her story gets published by the New Yorker because the New Yorker is all about romantic stories taking place in Italy (I'm not smart enough to read the New Yorker but I am assuming, yes?). Amanda gets a letter at her work but instead of going to her desk to open the letter, she leaves and sits in a pretty park because apparently fact checkers have very liberal work policies. Inside is an invitation to Lorenzo and Claire's wedding in Tuscany. At this point a Taylor Swift song comes on so you know we are getting to the end... God I hope so. Amanda visits Viktor at his restaurant that is about to open and tells him that she is going to Tuscany alone, without him. He understands that she is breaking up with him, just before the opening of his restaurant because she is a tool. Opening a restaurant must be one of the most incredibly stressful things to do ever and she chooses now to do this? Wow, Viktor, better now than later, bro, amirite?
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| I would appreciate you, Viktor! |
I guess I have become a little too cynical. I used to be all about the romance but last night I found myself saying "blah blah blah" during Charlie's declaration of love. I should blame Alanis.
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