Public Transportation Etiquette
I love Vienna public transportation. It is one of the few cities that I haven't called it Pubic transportation. Like for reals. In Moscow I had a driver (poor rich girl issues) that would take me to school and back. After a few weeks, I realized that taking the subway in the afternoon was much more convenient - almost faster and I was the boss of me when I wanted to go home. Our drivers were ex-military and I used to spend hours looking at their self given tattoos in interest and wondering what they meant. They were always super nice and blasted the radio in the mornings. Moscow radio in the late 90's was always a mixture of Madonna, modern hits (by modern, I mean mid 90's) and the most random songs. If I hear One Way Ticket to the Blues I kind of get a sensory memory jolt and I'm in the back of an embassy car driving along impossibly wide boulevards. Or I'm twitching because I hate that song to the depths of my soul. Nice random segue, Tova.
Anyway, I have travelled many hours on different subways around the world and by far, Vienna is the cleanest, most reliable and safest. Yet.... and there is a yet, I feel like screaming sometimes. So here are my golden rules to traveling the public transportation. Since you read this blog, you all know the rules because only awesome people read this blog and ergo you are well versed in basic decency. Right? Right. So share this with the world so that we can all just get a long and I won't have to cut a bitch next time I'm on the subway. Danke.
Tova's Golden Rules for Travelling on Public Transportation
Escalator- for the love of God stay on the right hand side. Left hand side is for people like me who mutter and walk up the steps because I have a very important meeting at a wine bar. STAND TO THE RIGHT!
Exiting a bus, tram, ubahn- for the love of God let people get off first. Simple science and yet this seems to be rocket science based on the number of times I have been body checked by someone or crotch hugged by an unknown child. Wait and then enter. Not hard.
Using the elevator- Now, there is no actual law about who gets to use the elevator first but there is an unspoken law that dictates this. And there is even a sticker displaying this (someone ripped off the sticker at our station- so badass). People in wheelchairs, with baby carriages/strollers and the elderly should be given priority. And here is my personal hierarchy of priority; wheelchairs (always!!!) and then the carriages and elderly (same level and actually, the elderly trump me and my kid but that's just me). Able bodied teenagers can walk the extra 50 meters if they see that there is a line of the above. Yet, already in the past week, everyday people have pushed pass me to get on the elevator while I've been with the Kid in his stroller. They got the look. And a piece of their soul died.
People with carriages/strollers- Listen, I used to get pissy during rush hour when I saw those SUV carriages pushing their way onto the already crowded ubahn. I would think to myself "I've got to get to work, why must you take up so much space?" I admit I was wrong. Many of these women (some men too) are also on their way to work and are on their way to daycare first and they have just as much right to use public transportation. HOWEVER... when I am with child, I make sure to find a section of a train car without another carriage already on it. It's nice when people make room so I can park it but I don't always expect that to happen. Don't ram people with your Hummer carriage if they don't move. Give them the look and then passively agressively make your kid cough in their direction.
The use of the pole- Don't lean on it. Just don't.
And so, those are my golden rules. Also please refrain from eating gross ass leberkaese in my vicinity. Be a star and stand up for the elderly, pregnant or those with bad fashion sense. Danke.
Anyway, I have travelled many hours on different subways around the world and by far, Vienna is the cleanest, most reliable and safest. Yet.... and there is a yet, I feel like screaming sometimes. So here are my golden rules to traveling the public transportation. Since you read this blog, you all know the rules because only awesome people read this blog and ergo you are well versed in basic decency. Right? Right. So share this with the world so that we can all just get a long and I won't have to cut a bitch next time I'm on the subway. Danke.
Tova's Golden Rules for Travelling on Public Transportation
Escalator- for the love of God stay on the right hand side. Left hand side is for people like me who mutter and walk up the steps because I have a very important meeting at a wine bar. STAND TO THE RIGHT!
Exiting a bus, tram, ubahn- for the love of God let people get off first. Simple science and yet this seems to be rocket science based on the number of times I have been body checked by someone or crotch hugged by an unknown child. Wait and then enter. Not hard.
Using the elevator- Now, there is no actual law about who gets to use the elevator first but there is an unspoken law that dictates this. And there is even a sticker displaying this (someone ripped off the sticker at our station- so badass). People in wheelchairs, with baby carriages/strollers and the elderly should be given priority. And here is my personal hierarchy of priority; wheelchairs (always!!!) and then the carriages and elderly (same level and actually, the elderly trump me and my kid but that's just me). Able bodied teenagers can walk the extra 50 meters if they see that there is a line of the above. Yet, already in the past week, everyday people have pushed pass me to get on the elevator while I've been with the Kid in his stroller. They got the look. And a piece of their soul died.
People with carriages/strollers- Listen, I used to get pissy during rush hour when I saw those SUV carriages pushing their way onto the already crowded ubahn. I would think to myself "I've got to get to work, why must you take up so much space?" I admit I was wrong. Many of these women (some men too) are also on their way to work and are on their way to daycare first and they have just as much right to use public transportation. HOWEVER... when I am with child, I make sure to find a section of a train car without another carriage already on it. It's nice when people make room so I can park it but I don't always expect that to happen. Don't ram people with your Hummer carriage if they don't move. Give them the look and then passively agressively make your kid cough in their direction.
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| This is just douchey |
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| Why Patrick Stewart?!?! WHY?!?!... Oh, I'll forgive you.. I'll always forgive you. |
And so, those are my golden rules. Also please refrain from eating gross ass leberkaese in my vicinity. Be a star and stand up for the elderly, pregnant or those with bad fashion sense. Danke.
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