Gymcapades
I'm being a very good girl (I actually wrote food by mistake and that's a Freudian mistake if there ever was one). I have hit the gym 4 times this week and tomorrow I will as well. I'm loving the alone time and the fact that I get to read my Kindle for 40 minutes without interruption. Mommy Mommy Mommy Mommy! Mommy?
Anyway, the weirdest thing is that in the past week, suddenly there are more people at the gym. Were they celebrating Russian Christmas? Why weren't they here on January 2nd? It perturbs me to think that I might have missed out on some weird mid-January holiday. Hey ho off to Wikipedia I go!
Well, I'm back. Apparently I missed Houseplant Appreciation Day on the 10th of January as well as the Feast of Fabulous Wild Men day on the 12th. Dammit! So, moving on. Now there are like a lot more people and so far so good. I haven't had to give anyone the look and people are staying away from me. Smart people.
Here is the breakdown of the members I saw today.
Me- no explanation required
.jpg)
The Bunny- she's new. She's in her 20's and she is pretty and fit. She's called the Bunny because she works that crosstrainer into submission. Her ponytail swings back and forth and it is almost hypnotic. I'd like to hate her but I can't. She's the only one to have held the door for me and smile in the two years I have been here. TWO YEARS! And the jerky reception guy always seems to have a reason to come upstairs to the ladies section now.
The Busybody- she's been around for a couple of years. She doesn't talk to me anymore but when she did, she would yell out obnoxious things like "HAVEN'T SEEN YOU AROUND FOR A WHILE! HAVE YOU BEEN ILL!" and that just annoys me. Don't point out my laziness. Aaaand the reason I really don't like her is that she's made a deal with the cleaning lady so she sneaks in before opening time and gets to work out alone. I want to do that... Sneaky #@*
The Mean one- she's semi-new but she is terrifying. She reminds me of the mean lady from the Goonies. She has literally kicked people off the treadmill so she can get her walk in. And I'm not talking about asking people who have been on it for 45 minutes. Like, literally, 10 minutes into their workout, she will come into the room and bark at them. You kick me off my crosstrainer? Bring it. I'm scared.
The Star of a 90's Romantic Comedy- she's new and she is something right out of a romantic comedy/makeover film from the 90's. She wears glasses, an oversized tee and her hair up. But you know she is super attractive but she doesn't know it and I just want to call up Freddy Prinze Jr. and have him sweep her off to Paris and make her break out of her shell. She's very jumpy. I need to stop staring at her.
The Pigeon- a real live pigeon. He just stands at the window and watches me. He can see into my soul. EVERY DAMN MORNING HE IS THERE! Judging me.
There are more people who show up as I finish up my workout but I haven't really noticed them. I'm usually bent over looking for one of my lungs. Fun times at the gym.
Anyway, the weirdest thing is that in the past week, suddenly there are more people at the gym. Were they celebrating Russian Christmas? Why weren't they here on January 2nd? It perturbs me to think that I might have missed out on some weird mid-January holiday. Hey ho off to Wikipedia I go!
Well, I'm back. Apparently I missed Houseplant Appreciation Day on the 10th of January as well as the Feast of Fabulous Wild Men day on the 12th. Dammit! So, moving on. Now there are like a lot more people and so far so good. I haven't had to give anyone the look and people are staying away from me. Smart people.
Here is the breakdown of the members I saw today.
Me- no explanation required
The Bunny- she's new. She's in her 20's and she is pretty and fit. She's called the Bunny because she works that crosstrainer into submission. Her ponytail swings back and forth and it is almost hypnotic. I'd like to hate her but I can't. She's the only one to have held the door for me and smile in the two years I have been here. TWO YEARS! And the jerky reception guy always seems to have a reason to come upstairs to the ladies section now.
 |
| Let me just touch you. |
The Busybody- she's been around for a couple of years. She doesn't talk to me anymore but when she did, she would yell out obnoxious things like "HAVEN'T SEEN YOU AROUND FOR A WHILE! HAVE YOU BEEN ILL!" and that just annoys me. Don't point out my laziness. Aaaand the reason I really don't like her is that she's made a deal with the cleaning lady so she sneaks in before opening time and gets to work out alone. I want to do that... Sneaky #@*
The Mean one- she's semi-new but she is terrifying. She reminds me of the mean lady from the Goonies. She has literally kicked people off the treadmill so she can get her walk in. And I'm not talking about asking people who have been on it for 45 minutes. Like, literally, 10 minutes into their workout, she will come into the room and bark at them. You kick me off my crosstrainer? Bring it. I'm scared.
.jpg) |
| That's my crosstrainer! |
The Star of a 90's Romantic Comedy- she's new and she is something right out of a romantic comedy/makeover film from the 90's. She wears glasses, an oversized tee and her hair up. But you know she is super attractive but she doesn't know it and I just want to call up Freddy Prinze Jr. and have him sweep her off to Paris and make her break out of her shell. She's very jumpy. I need to stop staring at her.
 |
| Some hairspray and contacts... and voila, a prom queen. Worst message for teenagers ever. |
 |
| I see you, baby, shaking that ass... that large ass |
Comments
Post a Comment