God Give Me Strength
Oh God. Today is the day we go to the museum. I am still undecided about whether or not to bring the stroller. The museum is far far away and I'm having visions of epic meltdowns on trams en route and en home. I might just go a little way with them and then head back home with the Kid. He's fit but I don't know how he is going to handle a couple of hours without the stroller. I'm wearing running shoes and stretchy pants and wondering where I can buy a halter leash at 5 in the morning. Pray for me.
I'm heading to the gym soon. Hopefully I can sweat out some anxiety. I will be super super pumped when today is over. Oh please pray for me.
.......
And we are back home. Oh mah gawd, I did it. We got to the daycare just before 9 and the other kids were getting dressed and ready. The Kid wasn't too happy about waiting and I kept swearing under my breath and praying that a meltdown wasn't about to happen. With the folded up stroller over my shoulder, and the Kid's hand grasped in mine, we were on our way with 3 adults and 15 other kids. I needed a drink and I needed one bad, but alas, no booze for me. We got to the station and along the way, the Kid protested the treatment of Tibet a couple of times. We made it to the tram finally and I practically threw him into it. Much to my surprise (he is usually tightly strapped in his stroller), he grabbed a seat and sat calmly for about 20 minutes. Then we had to exit with the mass of children and wait for another tram. Of course there were no seats so I had to keep restraining him when the doors opened. Six times. Six stops. Would we ever ever get there? After a 40 minute trip, we finally arrived at a playground across from the museum and I could finally breathe. After he ran around for about 20 minutes, I made an executive decision and decided to head back home. I felt we had achieved a major milestone. On the way back, he had no interest in the stroller so once again, his hand was in my death grip. A 3 hour round trip and we used the stroller for 3 minutes. I have to say, well effing done Kid. Slow clap. I want to die.
Now, for other moms, this might not seem like a big deal. But for me, this challenge was HUGE! I work full time so weekends are family time and we spend it all together. That means going out involves the Husband being there and the stroller always present and not having to stick to a timetable. This is not having to line up with other kids, holding up the group when the Kid decides to throw himself to the floor or navigating public transportation with one free hand. No, this was HUGE! I have had such a lack of confidence in my parenting because of the past few months. Why has my kid been the only kid in the whole entire daycare in all the years of like ever been the hardest? Was it me? Maybe. It also didn't help that I got blasted for "working too much". Oh the guilt! So, yes, today was HUGE!
What I am most proud of (and it's my blog and so I am very self-involved on here) is that I kept my calm. And for the most part, I felt calm. Except, maybe if you had looked into my eyes you would have seen the same look that primates have in captivity - haunted. But regardless, I did it, we did it. The Husband is buying me something shiny. He OWES ME!
The End.
I'm heading to the gym soon. Hopefully I can sweat out some anxiety. I will be super super pumped when today is over. Oh please pray for me.
.......
And we are back home. Oh mah gawd, I did it. We got to the daycare just before 9 and the other kids were getting dressed and ready. The Kid wasn't too happy about waiting and I kept swearing under my breath and praying that a meltdown wasn't about to happen. With the folded up stroller over my shoulder, and the Kid's hand grasped in mine, we were on our way with 3 adults and 15 other kids. I needed a drink and I needed one bad, but alas, no booze for me. We got to the station and along the way, the Kid protested the treatment of Tibet a couple of times. We made it to the tram finally and I practically threw him into it. Much to my surprise (he is usually tightly strapped in his stroller), he grabbed a seat and sat calmly for about 20 minutes. Then we had to exit with the mass of children and wait for another tram. Of course there were no seats so I had to keep restraining him when the doors opened. Six times. Six stops. Would we ever ever get there? After a 40 minute trip, we finally arrived at a playground across from the museum and I could finally breathe. After he ran around for about 20 minutes, I made an executive decision and decided to head back home. I felt we had achieved a major milestone. On the way back, he had no interest in the stroller so once again, his hand was in my death grip. A 3 hour round trip and we used the stroller for 3 minutes. I have to say, well effing done Kid. Slow clap. I want to die.
Now, for other moms, this might not seem like a big deal. But for me, this challenge was HUGE! I work full time so weekends are family time and we spend it all together. That means going out involves the Husband being there and the stroller always present and not having to stick to a timetable. This is not having to line up with other kids, holding up the group when the Kid decides to throw himself to the floor or navigating public transportation with one free hand. No, this was HUGE! I have had such a lack of confidence in my parenting because of the past few months. Why has my kid been the only kid in the whole entire daycare in all the years of like ever been the hardest? Was it me? Maybe. It also didn't help that I got blasted for "working too much". Oh the guilt! So, yes, today was HUGE!
What I am most proud of (and it's my blog and so I am very self-involved on here) is that I kept my calm. And for the most part, I felt calm. Except, maybe if you had looked into my eyes you would have seen the same look that primates have in captivity - haunted. But regardless, I did it, we did it. The Husband is buying me something shiny. He OWES ME!
The End.
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