Week 4 oy vay and the joys of taking kids to the doctor!
Onto week 4 and I am happy to say I hit the gym once again this morning. This week will be interesting because Wednesday is a public holiday and Friday the day care is closed.. So there will be less Zumba but still gym time.
I have to admit that I am a little annoyed this morning. A little tired too. Last Thursday we went to get the kid's eyes checked and it didn't go so well. He was awesome in the waiting room. My purse was filled with all sorts of crap; a Toys R Us and snack bar in one. We kept him distracted and ignored the looks that God forbid a child is in the waiting room. Listen, I've been there. Kids can annoy me too. But we are doing our very darndest to make this a pleasant stay for everybody involved. He's two and he likes to talk (babble, mostly) and we are really putting on a show for him. I even break a sweat. We always try to make the earliest appointments and constantly feed him to keep him quiet and well, it worked pretty well until the receptionist asked us to bring him to the desk and have him look into a machine to check his eyes. No way no how. It's like asking an alligator in the middle of his death roll to calm the eff down. So that was nixed and then it was our time to go in and see the doctor. She didn't even acknowledge us for about 5 minutes and then looked up and told him (he's two), to go and sit in the chair. I placed him on the Husband's lap and the Dr. brought out a pen with a fish on top. Listen lady, the Kid watches Dora. Unless that pen can sing or shoot laser beams, he ain't gonna be interested. She gave up and then showed him some hologram cards and at that point he was too far gone to look at the damn things. She was annoyed and then turned to me and asked "Is he an only child?". Dude. Seriously? She then suggested we come back in 6 months for the test. Oh right, I am sure he will be reading Chaucer by then. I'll bring his pipe.
So that was a bust and I was a little defeated but knew that on Monday morning (today), that the ear doctor would be far better... Right? No. Wrong. So very very wrong. Once again my Michael Kors purse stuffed with a pedophile dream kit, we made our way to the ear doctor. The place was nice. There was a chalk board, the Kid was happy. We waited about 30 minutes and then it was time to go in. I swear, the same eye doctor was also the ear doctor. P.S. I like beige, but I don't love beige. They both love beige. She motioned to the chair and this time he sat on my lap. She came at him with some retro piece of paper with pictures and asked him to show her the apple. Once again, he was having none of it. So she gave up. Checked his ears and throat and suggested we come back in a couple of weeks for the hearing test. I felt like crying. Her theory is that if we have it earlier in the day, he'll like totally be calm and gung ho. Lady, he's two. Asking him to do anything he doesn't want to do is like asking Kim Kardashian to not be a media whore. Not an easy task, my friends. So we are scheduled to go back on the 17th. Hip hip hurrah. I truly am starting to wonder if the Kid is the only two year old in Austria, who is like, you know, a two year old. Have I stumbled upon some weird Brave New World/Lord of the Flies country, where kids are totally like "Cmon doc, give me your best shot. I'll totally stay still while you shove that stick in my mouth. I live for medical procedures!"? I feel like I am in some parallel universe where my Kid is the only one who is going through the terrible twos and actually, to be quite honest, he ain't so bad. I'm so confused.
But now that I have that off my chest, I can now focus on my fitness and eating right and I haven't even had a moment to plan this week's menu. So stay tuned. that will show up soon. Just after the Kid sings a little Carmina Burana and writes me a haiku (translation: screams at me to open the goddamn balcony door already so he can yell "Pilane!" evertime a plane flies overhead).
I have to admit that I am a little annoyed this morning. A little tired too. Last Thursday we went to get the kid's eyes checked and it didn't go so well. He was awesome in the waiting room. My purse was filled with all sorts of crap; a Toys R Us and snack bar in one. We kept him distracted and ignored the looks that God forbid a child is in the waiting room. Listen, I've been there. Kids can annoy me too. But we are doing our very darndest to make this a pleasant stay for everybody involved. He's two and he likes to talk (babble, mostly) and we are really putting on a show for him. I even break a sweat. We always try to make the earliest appointments and constantly feed him to keep him quiet and well, it worked pretty well until the receptionist asked us to bring him to the desk and have him look into a machine to check his eyes. No way no how. It's like asking an alligator in the middle of his death roll to calm the eff down. So that was nixed and then it was our time to go in and see the doctor. She didn't even acknowledge us for about 5 minutes and then looked up and told him (he's two), to go and sit in the chair. I placed him on the Husband's lap and the Dr. brought out a pen with a fish on top. Listen lady, the Kid watches Dora. Unless that pen can sing or shoot laser beams, he ain't gonna be interested. She gave up and then showed him some hologram cards and at that point he was too far gone to look at the damn things. She was annoyed and then turned to me and asked "Is he an only child?". Dude. Seriously? She then suggested we come back in 6 months for the test. Oh right, I am sure he will be reading Chaucer by then. I'll bring his pipe.
So that was a bust and I was a little defeated but knew that on Monday morning (today), that the ear doctor would be far better... Right? No. Wrong. So very very wrong. Once again my Michael Kors purse stuffed with a pedophile dream kit, we made our way to the ear doctor. The place was nice. There was a chalk board, the Kid was happy. We waited about 30 minutes and then it was time to go in. I swear, the same eye doctor was also the ear doctor. P.S. I like beige, but I don't love beige. They both love beige. She motioned to the chair and this time he sat on my lap. She came at him with some retro piece of paper with pictures and asked him to show her the apple. Once again, he was having none of it. So she gave up. Checked his ears and throat and suggested we come back in a couple of weeks for the hearing test. I felt like crying. Her theory is that if we have it earlier in the day, he'll like totally be calm and gung ho. Lady, he's two. Asking him to do anything he doesn't want to do is like asking Kim Kardashian to not be a media whore. Not an easy task, my friends. So we are scheduled to go back on the 17th. Hip hip hurrah. I truly am starting to wonder if the Kid is the only two year old in Austria, who is like, you know, a two year old. Have I stumbled upon some weird Brave New World/Lord of the Flies country, where kids are totally like "Cmon doc, give me your best shot. I'll totally stay still while you shove that stick in my mouth. I live for medical procedures!"? I feel like I am in some parallel universe where my Kid is the only one who is going through the terrible twos and actually, to be quite honest, he ain't so bad. I'm so confused.
But now that I have that off my chest, I can now focus on my fitness and eating right and I haven't even had a moment to plan this week's menu. So stay tuned. that will show up soon. Just after the Kid sings a little Carmina Burana and writes me a haiku (translation: screams at me to open the goddamn balcony door already so he can yell "Pilane!" evertime a plane flies overhead).
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