Rainy Saturday
Hello rain. Thank you for making this Saturday dark and gloomy while I battle this cold. I'm feeling better than yesterday but I am still feeling sick and delicate. My white bathrobe has been my shield against having to move too much. I slept off and on yesterday which is a clear indication that I am no bueno. Plans for today include some light cleaning, some grocery shopping and making our living room look like the royal wedding. Office Twin is coming for dinner and as I mentioned yesterday, he isn't big on the aristocracy so it is my time to shine. Trolling.
This weekend will be a crafty weekend. I'll be making more hibiscus paper flowers for the Tiki themed baby shower that I am hosting in March. I will also stop at the amazing art supply store I stumbled upon the other week. I ordered a ton of leis from Amazon and brace yourself for all the jokes I will be making "Sure glad I got leid. Hardy har har." Dad jokes. I sent another query to a literary agent and that means I need to try and get a chapter or two of my book in this weekend. I set a deadline to finish my book by the end of March. That's ambitious but you know I love a challenge. The Kid is in a fabulous mood this morning, walking around wrapped in a blanket which is his standard M.O., which he inherited from me. I have two looks, dressed up or homeless. The minute I get home, I whip off the bra and put on the rattiest t-shirt and sweat pants I can find. I am a goddess.
In other news, it has been 3 weeks since I have had booze. I know. It's a miracle. Alcohol-free beer has become my social savior and when I was at the therapy networking night at the Beaver Brewing Company the other night, I asked the server if they had alcohol-free beer and she paused for a second. She looked at me and said "We have Null Komma Josef?" and she looked sad. And I sighed and looked down at my lap and sadly said "I'll take it." and she looked at me long and hard and said "Are you sure?" And I stifled a sob and nodded yes. I have never seen such sadness in a server's eyes before and I get judged a lot. When I ordered the second beer I just said "Another round of crap beer please!" and she smiled... slightly. So yes, I am amazing, I have the strength of 1,000 sober tractors. And while I make it sound like some life altering quest, this 30 day challenge hasn't been that bad. The best part is that I now know that I am still incredibly inappropriate and irreverent and difficult while sober! Who knew?! I also learned that some friends are on a 30 day no hang out with Tova challenge until she starts drinking again. Hey now!
I am trying to think of a funny story to end this blog post with. There are a few but probably the most recent was my newest mispronunciation. At work, there is a job called Precis Writing for conferences. Well, dumbass Tova has been thinking this is Pursy Writing. What was that supposed to mean? No clue. But the best part was when I corrected a friend. "There's a Precis writing test coming up." my friend said to me as we walked to lunch. I stopped her in the middle of the hallway, and smirked. "Ummm. Pursy writing." and she looked confused and said "Precis." and I laughed condescendingly and said "Pursy." and then there was a moment of silence and she exploded into laughter "YOU ARE SO DUMB! What the Hell is Pursy?!?" and there you have it. I am le dumbass. She also made me write about this because she is vengeful. And this is getting added to our long-running Wall of Shame which hangs in my office. Ugh. The shame.
So there you have it. I am not perfect. Close, but really not. It's time for me to polish the silver, dig out my tiara and download some Chopin. I totally wish I had more time to plan this dinner of trolling because I totally would have hunted down a violinist and asked someone to play butler and server...just to see Office Twin's face. And maybe if I spent half the time I do on trolling, I could learn important words like "Precis". Meh, this is more fun. Have a fabulous Saturday! Toodles!
This weekend will be a crafty weekend. I'll be making more hibiscus paper flowers for the Tiki themed baby shower that I am hosting in March. I will also stop at the amazing art supply store I stumbled upon the other week. I ordered a ton of leis from Amazon and brace yourself for all the jokes I will be making "Sure glad I got leid. Hardy har har." Dad jokes. I sent another query to a literary agent and that means I need to try and get a chapter or two of my book in this weekend. I set a deadline to finish my book by the end of March. That's ambitious but you know I love a challenge. The Kid is in a fabulous mood this morning, walking around wrapped in a blanket which is his standard M.O., which he inherited from me. I have two looks, dressed up or homeless. The minute I get home, I whip off the bra and put on the rattiest t-shirt and sweat pants I can find. I am a goddess.
In other news, it has been 3 weeks since I have had booze. I know. It's a miracle. Alcohol-free beer has become my social savior and when I was at the therapy networking night at the Beaver Brewing Company the other night, I asked the server if they had alcohol-free beer and she paused for a second. She looked at me and said "We have Null Komma Josef?" and she looked sad. And I sighed and looked down at my lap and sadly said "I'll take it." and she looked at me long and hard and said "Are you sure?" And I stifled a sob and nodded yes. I have never seen such sadness in a server's eyes before and I get judged a lot. When I ordered the second beer I just said "Another round of crap beer please!" and she smiled... slightly. So yes, I am amazing, I have the strength of 1,000 sober tractors. And while I make it sound like some life altering quest, this 30 day challenge hasn't been that bad. The best part is that I now know that I am still incredibly inappropriate and irreverent and difficult while sober! Who knew?! I also learned that some friends are on a 30 day no hang out with Tova challenge until she starts drinking again. Hey now!
I am trying to think of a funny story to end this blog post with. There are a few but probably the most recent was my newest mispronunciation. At work, there is a job called Precis Writing for conferences. Well, dumbass Tova has been thinking this is Pursy Writing. What was that supposed to mean? No clue. But the best part was when I corrected a friend. "There's a Precis writing test coming up." my friend said to me as we walked to lunch. I stopped her in the middle of the hallway, and smirked. "Ummm. Pursy writing." and she looked confused and said "Precis." and I laughed condescendingly and said "Pursy." and then there was a moment of silence and she exploded into laughter "YOU ARE SO DUMB! What the Hell is Pursy?!?" and there you have it. I am le dumbass. She also made me write about this because she is vengeful. And this is getting added to our long-running Wall of Shame which hangs in my office. Ugh. The shame.
So there you have it. I am not perfect. Close, but really not. It's time for me to polish the silver, dig out my tiara and download some Chopin. I totally wish I had more time to plan this dinner of trolling because I totally would have hunted down a violinist and asked someone to play butler and server...just to see Office Twin's face. And maybe if I spent half the time I do on trolling, I could learn important words like "Precis". Meh, this is more fun. Have a fabulous Saturday! Toodles!
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