Just Some Dis and Dat

Yay! Hump Day almost over! The Kid is tucked into bed, asleep and dreaming of laundry baskets. This is his favourite thing ever. The other night, I went in to check on him and he had pulled his basket into his bed and had fallen asleep in it. I think it makes him feel safe and yes, he is part cat. Maybe for his birthday I will buy him a new one because his current one is one its last legs.

I am going to have another early night tonight. I need to save up my energy and get ready for the next few days. But I will not fall asleep immediately because I am currently hooked on Confessions of a Sociopath. My friend D.K. suggested I read it and as I read the first chapter I started to wonder if she had recommended me to read it much like someone passive aggressively gives an etiquette book to a Bridezilla. But alas, as I finished the first chapter I realized that I am not a sociopath. Which never really had crossed my mind but, whoah! this book is terrifying.

It is written by a diagnosed sociopath who remains anonymous and has a seemingly normal life besides the fact that she is a SOCIOPATH! This is quite a terrifying read and as I get deeper into the book, I am doing some additional research. According to one site, these are some of the traits of a sociopath: (my comments in red)

Lack of empathy: Nope. I have constant Weltschmerz
Cold, calculating nature: I am always overheated and calculations? I suck at math..and chess
Shallow emotions: Hahahahaha! TOO MANY EMOTIONS! You should see how I react to not having anymore coffee in the house. Or any and all movie trailers ever.
Narcissism: Did you read any of my previous blog posts? I describe my look as "Looks like I ate myself"
Charming: Well... I will give you that.
High IQ: I thought carrots grew on trees until recently
Manipulative: How I act in my marriage doesn't count! Stop judging me!!
Secretive: Hahahaha! Have you read this blog? Open book, my friends. 
Sexually deviant: Um..nope. No time for that!
Sensitive to criticism: Aren't we all?
Paranoid: No. Too busy to think someone is out to get me.. Actually, now reading this book this actually could be true.
Despotic/Authoritarian: Again, how I act in my marriage doesn't count!!
Low tolerance for boredom: Dammit! Wait! Am I sociopath? No. Hey look! Chocolate!
Impulsive behavior: Not really. Unless I have had champagne and somebody dares me to do something. 
Compulsive lying: I am actually a pretty terrible liar. Except about my weight. And height. And age. And hair colour.  

There are some more traits but they require more explanation and I am tired but I am pretty sure, I am just fine. So never fear, dear friends, you are and I am not a sociopath so we can all, like, hangout and stuff. Unless you are a sociopath and you have been hiding it very well and in that case, I will sleep with pepper spray under my pillow and will watch my back. WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO ME, D.K.?!?!

Moving on... This morning, I decided to change up mah look. I put on my fake glasses and put my hair up in a messy bun and headed to work. I was teased mercilessly by one friend for wearing fake glasses. To quote her she said "I spent 5,000 euros on laser eye surgery to NOT wear glasses." When Office Twin showed up he saw me in the hallway and exclaimed "WHAT IS ON YOUR FACE?!" and then said "You look like Velma!" You are dead to me, Office Twin! DEAD! (and I am joking because I am not a sociopath. I swear!) (Um, and by the way, Internet, what is with all the Velma porn? Is this a thing?)

So just under a week to go and then it is the awesome evening with the Honourable Mike Lake. It is gaining speed and I have sent close to 20 e-mails this afternoon/evening to try and spread the word. Friends have also been super awesome in sharing the event on Facebook and reaching out to media sources. I know that the presentation will be a huge coup for Autism in Vienna in terms of awareness so fingers crossed we get at least 100 people in the lecture hall! I am going to just be as positive as I can be about this!

I just finished my third day of filling out my food diary. It is pretty crazy how it keeps me accountable. I can't lie to the book so it is easier to just not eat something crappy rather than have to enter it in ink to see my shame for all of eternity. So yay to my food diary! After work tomorrow I will going Spinning because on Friday I am going out for pizza for a friend's birthday. And I dread writing "SOO MUCH PIZZA!" in my judgmental food diary.

This evening a friend PM'd me about the birthday party on Saturday. He asked "How 'open' will your party be?' and I responded with "Why? Are you planning on not wearing pants?" Heh. I'm witty without wine which assures me that I am not an alcoholic OR a sociopath! Good news, everybody!! Anyway, I wish you all a great night! It's time for me to send off a couple more e-mails and then crawl into bed to read that curazy book. Sleep tight!

Comments

  1. Heh. Knew you'd like the book. And no, it was not a thinly-veiled psychiatric assessment.
    Then again, NF recommended it to me, so maybe SHE thinks I'M a sociopath...

    ReplyDelete
  2. If you're that keen on the food diary, you should try downloading MyFitnessPal it's an app that is like having a naggy nutritionist and personal trainer in your pocket. You get push notifications of you miss entering a meal or workout And you can share with friends. I'll do it with you if you want.

    ReplyDelete
  3. If you're that keen on the food diary, you should try downloading MyFitnessPal it's an app that is like having a naggy nutritionist and personal trainer in your pocket. You get push notifications of you miss entering a meal or workout And you can share with friends. I'll do it with you if you want.

    ReplyDelete

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