So Tova did the Bikram

Well... I am back. It is late. It is dark. And I have showered. How did it go... well, walk with me.

As you know, if you have read my previous posts, I might have been a taaaaaad dramatic about the whole thing. I made the big mistake reading stuff on Google and had kind oooooof put myself into a bit of tizzy. But a promise made is a promise kept and I even bought a new outfit so I had to go. I got home just before 6 and changed into my bike shorts, fuschia sports bra and racer back tank and put my hair back with a stretchy head band. I headed out around 7:25 and when I saw my friend, I remarked, "I look like Nathan Lane in between costume changes" At 7:40, the doors open and I reached for my flask. I had no flask. Stupid me.

We approached the counter and were greeted by a very nice guy who goes by the name of Phil. He was not wearing a shirt. That's normal, calm down there, Tova. We filled out a little form and signed up for the 10 for 10 deal. Which pretty much means you pay 10 euros and you can go an unlimited amount of time for 10 days straight. Sold. A class had just finished before us so when we walked into the change room, I did the whole eyes to the ceiling I am still not comfortable with full frontal nudity schtick. Luckily I had come dressed in my outfit so I went ahead into the "loft" room and found a place waaaaay in the back. When my friend joined me she made us move because I had "accidentally" placed us behind the pillar. Damn straight.

When you first enter the room, you will notice a wall of mirrors on three sides of the room. You will also note that you hate yourself for eating pizza so often. Or maybe that is just me. As the class filled up, my friend and I lay down and stared at the ceiling and I thought about the Melanie Griffith and Antonio Banderas divorce, because, why not? After a few minutes of lying there, it was time to start. Phil, with a headset on, pointed me out because it was my first time. Do you know how I feel about being pointed out in a crowd? I HATE IT. So I smiled and nodded and was about to do a little Queen wave but my time had passed and it was time to git down. Git down with the Bikram. We started with some breathing exercises and within a second, I broke out into a sweat. That was to be expected. I sometimes sweat when I eat.

We quickly moved on to different poses and for the life of me, I have no idea how I did not just keel over and die. And while my friend assured me that no one would be looking at me I quickly came to the conclusion that she lies! OH SHE LIES. And you know why she lies? Because I stared at everybody. And might I just add that there are some spectacular bodies present and obviously some regular waxing customers.

As the class progressed and I got sweat in my eyes, I was amazed at the others' flexibility. I got a little cocky with a move that reminded me of my skating days. As I pulled my leg up behind me I thought "Heh. Not so bad. I'm Tonya Harding. La la la" and then I stopped when I noticed that most people had their leg over their heads. Again, great waxing, everybody!

There were definitely some poses that I was unable to do. So I would sit on my legs and sing a song about beer. Since I couldn't do some poses, I of course gave names to them. The hardest one for me, and one I could not even attempt, was what I now will call the dismembered body. I have now just checked the name and it is officially known as the Fixed Firm Pose. Interesting. I found the instructor very helpful and I applaud him for not shaming me. I have the flexibility of a blackboard. For reals.

There were definitely a few times I had to stop and take a breather. It's not for the faint of heart. But I have to say, I am pretty damn proud of myself for not screaming "FREEEEEDOMMM!!" while bursting through the doors halfway through the session. It's hot, it's hard but I was amazed with how fast the time flew by. After the last sit-up, yes, there are sit-ups, who knew. I DIDN'T! We lay down and were told to take at least 10 minutes to cool down. Then the instructor said "Namaste" and I couldn't help myself... I said "Lama stay". You can read about my former Yoga experience later. After this post. Read this post now. Just do it.

After the ten minutes of wondering if Antonio had a pre-nup, my friend and I headed into the lobby to chill a little. Phil came up and told us we did great and because I can't seem to behave in public, I excitedly exclaimed "I POPPED MY CHERRY!". Ugh, Tova, no bueno. Go back in your box.

And, so, if you haven't guessed it already, I absolutely LOVED IT! It was FANTASTIC! I have to say a major thank you to my dear friend who convinced me to give it a try. She was right. She knew I would love it and I did. I think this just might become a staple workout for me. But next time... I'm hiding behind the pillar.

If you are in Wien, check out Bikram Yoga Loft! It is fantastic and I couldn't be happier to have it around the corner from our place. Now to go and look for more fabulous Yoga outfits. Namaste, mother lovers!!