Do's and Don'ts of Hot Yoga/Bikram for your First Time

Namaste Motherlovers! A fabulous Saturday afternoon to you all! I went to Bikram this morning because a) I love it and am so happy that I am doing it again and b) I am having poutine tonight. Yes, yes, not vegan poutine, but I can make an exception for POUTINE! Anway, now that I can almost touch my toes, I consider myself a bit of an expert at the hot yoga #cough #cough. No, I am not even close to being an expert but maybe that is a good thing because then I can write this post from more of a beginner's perspective. I started Bikram just under 2 years ago. I was hooked for a couple of months and then due to a terrible summer and some upheavals here and there, I stopped for a while, going only once in a while. What I didn't really realize is that I probably should have continued to go to hot yoga because then I would have probably dealt with stress a lot better instead of face planting into every block of cheese I came across. Or at least I would have been able to bend over without grunting by this time. Kerblast!

So I have decided that today's post will be a bit of the Do's and Don'ts of Hot Yoga Bikram for your first time. If you decided to bite the bullet and try it out, read this first and then you can decide to say screw it, I'm watching re-runs of MacGyver. I get it. It was a terribly awesome show! or actually shave your pits and go.

First of all, for those who don't know, Bikram hot yoga is a class that lasts 90 minutes, the room temperature is set at 40 Celsius (104 Fahrenheit) and there are 26 poses. It is hard but I guarantee that you will feel pretty amazing afterwards... maybe a little dumb for about half an hour after the class, but amazing nonetheless. I like to call it the Dumbening because you pretty much walk around as a zombie for a while.

What you will need: a yoga mat, a beach towel, a large bottle of water and wear comfortable yoga clothes. You can wear a bathing suit, a bikini or in my case, leggings, tank top and an industrial strength sports bra; conservative because #bodyshame

Do: expect it to be hot when you walk in. It's kind of Jurassic Park-like; humid, hot and you feel like you are being hunted... while wearing spandex.

Don't: choose a spot in the front. For your first class, best to be more in the back. Or, after 40 classes, you can be like me and try and hide behind the pillar because you still can't touch your toes.

Do: After the warm up breathing, breathe only through your nose. Trust me on this. If you start to breathe through your mouth, your body goes into panic mode and you will feel short of breath. And then you will get all dramatic in your head and it is a mess. And then you might have to schedule a therapy appointment and talk about the time you almost internally hyperventilated and that is going to set you back about 100 euros and then you can't buy those super cute shoes you saw the other day... and... just breathe through your nose, ok?

Don't: leave the room. Honestly. It might feel like you are trapped but there are a couple of reasons for not leaving the room until after the 90 minutes are done. The first one is that you might pass out because you haven't cooled down and the second is, if you run past me and your sweat gets on me, I will hunt you down.

Do: know that this is 90% mental. You will have good days and bad days. Even the yogiest bendiest Lulu Lemon wearing peeps have to sit down sometimes.

Don't: eat a lot before a class. Yesterday I had a lightish lunch and then I decided on some cake and a soy latte. Then I went to class and I wanted punch myself in the stomach to speed up my digestion. Not good.

Do: whatever you are comfortable with. I go to Yogaloft in the 4th district in Vienna and I find all of the instructors awesome. They know what they are talking about and they will suggest modifiers for positions... especially if you have T-Rex arms like I do. But don't hurt yourself.

Don't: feel like you have to stay after and drink tea. You can, and it's nice. Or you can decide to hide your shame and leave as soon as possible like I do.

Do: go to another class as soon as possible after your first one. I feel like it takes about 3-4 classes in a row (daily, or every couple of days) to get hooked. Like heroin? Maybe? I don't know. I don't do that kind of stuff. But it will get addictive. Don't hate the playa, hate the game. Wait, no, love the game. LOVE IT!

Don't: forget to drink A LOT of water after. You lose between 600-1,000 calories (I KNOW, RIGHT?!) in one session. Apparently a bottle of wine does not count as proper liquid.

Do: expect to sweat. If you don't, you should see a doctor. And the sweating doesn't stop the more you go. In fact, you might even sweat more.

Don't: get frustrated. It might seem like you aren't making any progress and then BOOM! you can bend a little bit further or do a move you couldn't do before. It's a funny sense of victory when that happens. But all of it takes time and this is coming from a completely impatient person, my friends.

Do: take breaks if you feel dizzy or faint. Just a couple of minutes of standing still or kneeling make a huge difference. Your heart rate will slow down and you will no longer feel like your heart is trying to leap out of your chest. It is hard, no question, but you can pace yourself.

Do: get there a little early. Yogaloft opens the door 20 minutes before a class which gives me enough time to put down my mat, get used to the heat and update my Instagram with smug hashtags. #yoga #namastemotherlovers

Don't: forget to avoid eye contact with me if you see me in class. I am not in full make up and I am a sweaty mess. I am the stuff of nightmares. Yesterday I forgot to take off my mascara and it was terrifying. If someone finds you attractive after a session, you marry that person and you marry that person quick.

I guess that sums it up! What I really love about hot yoga is that for 90 minutes I am not checking e-mails, looking at Facebook or Instagram or pretending I have a headache. It is 90 minutes of me time with no interruptions... and did I mention that you can burn up to 1,000 calories? Did I? And yes, it is about meditation... and up to 1,000 calories!!! Ahem. Anyway. Go try it out! You will either love it or hate it but either way, you will sweat out that bottle of wine you had the night before. Namaste my lovelies!! This is the place to be if you want to try it out: http://www.yogaloft.at/wp/

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