Updates
Hello everybody. I am sorry for the lack of posting recently. As some of you know, one of my dearest friend's husband is currently in critical condition. I ask please for your prayers - for him and for her. I cannot even describe how amazingly strong she has been through this time. I won't go into detail about the situation because it is not my story to tell but I ask for your positives thoughts and vibes. Thank you.
So, since I haven't written since last Monday, here is what has been happening:
Saturday: We were invited to friends who have an amazing new place in the 5th district. It is a house with a garden in the middle of the city which for Vienna is a rare and wondrous thing. It was hot that day and we camped on the grass in the shade lest we go poof like Kirsten Dunst in Interview with a Vampire. 90's film references foreva! We drank, we ate, the Kid kvetched because he was hot and tired. I sprayed him down with a water bottle throughout the day because you just can't put a price on good parenting. Around 6:30 the Kid passed out on the lawn and it was all so college. Awesome. We headed home around 8 and apologized to our guests for overstaying. I wonder if they will ever have us over again? Maybe I should send them some Windex to take of the Kid's smeared fingerprints on their windows. Bet they stocked up on birth control as well.
Sunday: It was hot. So very hot. The Husband brought out the air conditioning unit because I believe I said something like "If it doesn't cool down in here, I will cut you with a butter knife". Once we got it working, the rage subsided. Austria isn't big on air conditioning. A lot of people believe that it makes people sick. They are wrong. No air conditioning makes me homicidal. Look, I don't need Denny's freeze-your-tuckus-off but a nice temperature of about 24 Celsius would be a good thing. Over the last few days I have found myself in the frozen food aisle, rubbing frozen bags of spinach over my body. That's about as close to healthy eating I have achieved this past week. And, because Vienna continues to convince me that it is a village, as I looked out my window Sunday evening, I saw an ex-colleague and his wife and his baby and his dog walk by. So being the classy fishwife that I am, I opened the window and bellowed out his name. This city, it is small.
Monday: Back at work and thanking Jeebus for the air conditioning. Guys, it's a human right. It totally is. Let's not try and fight the CFCs. Embrace them. Make them yours. After work, I ran to the grocery for provisions, visited our friends' cat who I am cat sitting while they are away and then ran home and made dinner for my dear friend and three of her sisters who have flown over. It was a really nice night and the Kid was overjoyed to be the center of attention. And he of course humped things to convey to our guests that he was totally at ease with their presence. I literally need to buy him a privacy screen. Three year old boys. Why?!?! Gah! As a sidenote, I kind of got a little bit of a confirmation that the Kid most likely isn't autistic. Now, I know he has some delays, and I think the ergotherapy has been incredible and we will have a long road ahead of us, but I feel somewhat validated to have heard what I heard, Sam I am. I have been fighting the autism diagnosis since day 1 and I have been told I am in denial. This has irked me and enraged me because I am multi-faceted like that. Sometimes, Mama knows best. Oh, I'm sorry. Always Mama knows best. ALWAYS!
Oh, and because the last week has been a whirlwind, I forgot to mention that the Kid had his very last day at the daycare on Monday. Let me take a quick minute here and suggest that you never send your kids to Arche Noah Kindergarten in the 10th district of Vienna unless your toddler is spectacularly behaved at all times, lacks any type of opinion, able to remove their shoes at the age of one and a half, eats every meal containing vegetables, sits still for 30 minutes and falls asleep at the drop of a hat. Oh, and if your child is strong willed, you should probably expect a note at some point detailing what is wrong with your child and diagnosing your child with Aspergers written by a psychology student who you did not know was a) just a student and b) analysing your child without your consent. Oh oh! and be prepared to be told because you are a working mother, your child behaves badly. Oh and oh! Also expect your nanny to be told that in their opinion, one of the parents (THE MOTHER, ALWAYS THE MOTHER!) should quit their job to take care of the difficult child. Or, and this one is good, ask your nanny if she can just work full time for you because they are unable to care for such a difficult child. Because, you know, you work and therefore can afford to spend over 1600 euros on child care. And and, as school coordinator, one should totally talk about your kid in front of her children at home because it makes it super awesome to see little girls whisper and giggle about your special needs child as you walk in in the morning. And of course, be prepared for them to tell you something terrible about your child and when you tear up and leave for the day, they will call your husband and say that you misunderstood them because of the language. Except they spoke to you in English. Deep breaths. So onward and upwards. Good bye daycare.
Tuesday: Another workday. Nothing much to report. Headed home in the humid drizzle, fed the cat, played with the cat. Forgot to take allergy medicine and wheezed for an hour. Got home, played with the Kid, ex-colleague came for drinks, we caught up, the Husband came home and took over, we headed out to meet some friends for dinner. We had a lovely time at Flatschers in the 7th. It's a burger joint and it was packed. And it was hot. So hot. Seriously guys, air conditioning. Not a bad thing. Besides the great burgers (no, seriously good) and the Hugos and the not great dessert (bad dessert, just bad) and the good company, we were also treated to a little gold digging action at the table beside us. I LIVE FOR THESE MOMENTS! When friend and I arrived, we noticed a guy in a suit (we guess he's in finance) with a rose wrapped in paper sitting at a table for two. He seemed a little twitchy. I was distracted at one point but my friend said that she heard him say on the phone "Well, being late is pretty rude for a first date." Of course, a few minutes later, a young blonde woman showed up and he passed her the rose. Now I was intrigued. So I called a table huddle and caught everyone up on what was going down next door. So this is what we got:
-He's Austrian but spoke English to her so ergo she is not Austrian.
-I would guess him to be in his 40s, she in her 20s.
-She wore a cute dress and carried a Mulberry bag so this ain't her first rodeo.
-He paid for dinner.
-He touched her tuckus as they were leaving. Like a lot.
-Gagging noises were heard from our table. Subtle, we are not.
-We assume they went home together after the words "Altbau" were whispered.
Now I need to take a shower. We are detectives extraordinaire. Or just obnoxious. Obnoxiously AWESOME!
Anyway, sorry for the long post that covered birth control, air conditioning, daycare naming and shaming and gold digging. I was on a roll early this morning! Happy Wednesday!
So, since I haven't written since last Monday, here is what has been happening:
Saturday: We were invited to friends who have an amazing new place in the 5th district. It is a house with a garden in the middle of the city which for Vienna is a rare and wondrous thing. It was hot that day and we camped on the grass in the shade lest we go poof like Kirsten Dunst in Interview with a Vampire. 90's film references foreva! We drank, we ate, the Kid kvetched because he was hot and tired. I sprayed him down with a water bottle throughout the day because you just can't put a price on good parenting. Around 6:30 the Kid passed out on the lawn and it was all so college. Awesome. We headed home around 8 and apologized to our guests for overstaying. I wonder if they will ever have us over again? Maybe I should send them some Windex to take of the Kid's smeared fingerprints on their windows. Bet they stocked up on birth control as well.
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| COLLEGE! |
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| Start up this mother lovah. |
Oh, and because the last week has been a whirlwind, I forgot to mention that the Kid had his very last day at the daycare on Monday. Let me take a quick minute here and suggest that you never send your kids to Arche Noah Kindergarten in the 10th district of Vienna unless your toddler is spectacularly behaved at all times, lacks any type of opinion, able to remove their shoes at the age of one and a half, eats every meal containing vegetables, sits still for 30 minutes and falls asleep at the drop of a hat. Oh, and if your child is strong willed, you should probably expect a note at some point detailing what is wrong with your child and diagnosing your child with Aspergers written by a psychology student who you did not know was a) just a student and b) analysing your child without your consent. Oh oh! and be prepared to be told because you are a working mother, your child behaves badly. Oh and oh! Also expect your nanny to be told that in their opinion, one of the parents (THE MOTHER, ALWAYS THE MOTHER!) should quit their job to take care of the difficult child. Or, and this one is good, ask your nanny if she can just work full time for you because they are unable to care for such a difficult child. Because, you know, you work and therefore can afford to spend over 1600 euros on child care. And and, as school coordinator, one should totally talk about your kid in front of her children at home because it makes it super awesome to see little girls whisper and giggle about your special needs child as you walk in in the morning. And of course, be prepared for them to tell you something terrible about your child and when you tear up and leave for the day, they will call your husband and say that you misunderstood them because of the language. Except they spoke to you in English. Deep breaths. So onward and upwards. Good bye daycare.
Tuesday: Another workday. Nothing much to report. Headed home in the humid drizzle, fed the cat, played with the cat. Forgot to take allergy medicine and wheezed for an hour. Got home, played with the Kid, ex-colleague came for drinks, we caught up, the Husband came home and took over, we headed out to meet some friends for dinner. We had a lovely time at Flatschers in the 7th. It's a burger joint and it was packed. And it was hot. So hot. Seriously guys, air conditioning. Not a bad thing. Besides the great burgers (no, seriously good) and the Hugos and the not great dessert (bad dessert, just bad) and the good company, we were also treated to a little gold digging action at the table beside us. I LIVE FOR THESE MOMENTS! When friend and I arrived, we noticed a guy in a suit (we guess he's in finance) with a rose wrapped in paper sitting at a table for two. He seemed a little twitchy. I was distracted at one point but my friend said that she heard him say on the phone "Well, being late is pretty rude for a first date." Of course, a few minutes later, a young blonde woman showed up and he passed her the rose. Now I was intrigued. So I called a table huddle and caught everyone up on what was going down next door. So this is what we got:
-He's Austrian but spoke English to her so ergo she is not Austrian.
-I would guess him to be in his 40s, she in her 20s.
-She wore a cute dress and carried a Mulberry bag so this ain't her first rodeo.
-He paid for dinner.
-He touched her tuckus as they were leaving. Like a lot.
-Gagging noises were heard from our table. Subtle, we are not.
-We assume they went home together after the words "Altbau" were whispered.
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| You complete me |
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| Oh my God Becky, he totally just touched her butt |
Some think of air conditioning as a luxury. But in my opinion, it’s more of a necessity nowadays. Especially in areas where the summer is particularly scorching, and those places that experience prolonged effects of the freezing winter. At least you won't be uncomfortable during the summer, and focus on enjoying your Sunday afternoons.
ReplyDeleteLashon Cheatham @ All About Air