Potty Training Day 4
It is the dawn of day 4 of potty training. The household is silent save for the ticking of the pewter clock on the windowsill. The sun rises to an overcast day. Even the birds seem melancholy this morning. When will the sun shine again? I don't know. Potty training; a reason there should be a boarding school for toddlers. Shoot me now.
The Husband and I have talked about potty training for a while now. It just never seemed like the right time. But now, since I am off until Thursday, we figured this past weekend would be a fine time to start. And start we did.
What is potty training our child like? Well, it is like chasing a 3 feet tall naked pissed off Chucky doll with a plastic potty for 10-11 hours a day while once in a while slipping in his pee because even though you have asked him every 20 minutes "do you have to go pee pee" the answer is "NEIN!!!"
For the most part, Saturday and Sunday weren't so bad because the Husband and I were in it together. Yesterday, however, he went to work and it was mano a mano for over 10 hours. When he first awoke, I attempted to take off his diaper which had ballooned to the size of a Golden Retriever puppy. Being the smart child he is, he figured out that once that diaper was off, it was go-time. I chased him for about an hour until the diaper could no longer take the weight and fell down to his knees. You would think this would mean he would finally be at peace letting go of the waterlogged instrument but no, he ran around for another 20 minutes, desperately clinging at it. I bribed him with a cookie and finally wrestled the 12 pound diaper from his chubby toddler grasp. The morning passed briefly albeit wetly. He did not seem to mind that he was soaked. I did get him to sit on his potty for about a minute where I believe he plotted my death. Later we made a trip to the park and then headed back home where I made the executive decision to make him go nekkid. Ever seen a death roll from an alligator? Yeah, toddlers do that too. Once nekkid, he had one accident on the kitchen floor. Oh, wait, a little on the kitchen floor, a lot on me. After that, he made his own executive decision to hold it in until bed time. I give him credit. He ain't dumb. This will be a battle of the wills today. One of us will need a nap. Keep me in your thoughts. Grazie.
The Husband and I have talked about potty training for a while now. It just never seemed like the right time. But now, since I am off until Thursday, we figured this past weekend would be a fine time to start. And start we did.
What is potty training our child like? Well, it is like chasing a 3 feet tall naked pissed off Chucky doll with a plastic potty for 10-11 hours a day while once in a while slipping in his pee because even though you have asked him every 20 minutes "do you have to go pee pee" the answer is "NEIN!!!"
For the most part, Saturday and Sunday weren't so bad because the Husband and I were in it together. Yesterday, however, he went to work and it was mano a mano for over 10 hours. When he first awoke, I attempted to take off his diaper which had ballooned to the size of a Golden Retriever puppy. Being the smart child he is, he figured out that once that diaper was off, it was go-time. I chased him for about an hour until the diaper could no longer take the weight and fell down to his knees. You would think this would mean he would finally be at peace letting go of the waterlogged instrument but no, he ran around for another 20 minutes, desperately clinging at it. I bribed him with a cookie and finally wrestled the 12 pound diaper from his chubby toddler grasp. The morning passed briefly albeit wetly. He did not seem to mind that he was soaked. I did get him to sit on his potty for about a minute where I believe he plotted my death. Later we made a trip to the park and then headed back home where I made the executive decision to make him go nekkid. Ever seen a death roll from an alligator? Yeah, toddlers do that too. Once nekkid, he had one accident on the kitchen floor. Oh, wait, a little on the kitchen floor, a lot on me. After that, he made his own executive decision to hold it in until bed time. I give him credit. He ain't dumb. This will be a battle of the wills today. One of us will need a nap. Keep me in your thoughts. Grazie.
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