Sleep Training - One more time
A few months ago we attempted sleep training. It was hell and what made it worse was that the woman downstairs complained so we couldn't even yell at each other at a healthy volume. We stopped the sleep training because I realized that with all the changes the Kid was going through, this was probably not the best time to try. We sort of eventually got into a rhythm before Christmas where I would go in and read for about 20 minutes from my Kindle or the Husband would lie down beside him and then the Kid would pass out around 7:30 and we would have a few hours of quiet until he would come into our bed sometime around 11. It wasn't bad and the Kid would sleep through the night so it wasn't very pressing to try and change that.
But recently the bedtime ritual is taking over an hour and then around 10 he will come to our bed and then around 4 or 5 he will start his demonic whispering and then we get all yelly with each other and this just isn't a good thing.
It is early in the morning and I have been up since 4 and I have come to a decision that it is time to break the Kid's spirit and make him sleep in his own bed. Instead of reading to him until he falls asleep, I will read a story from his book and not Jackie Collins, give him a kiss and turn off the light. And then the chaos will start.
I believe this will be a long long evening of going back to his room a bazillion times. And of course, that won't be the end of our journey. Oh no. He will definitely attempt to come into our bed sometime in the night. He has somehow perfected stealth mode and we don't even wake up anymore when he comes in so I will have to set up a barrier so at least we can hear him if he attempts to enter either of our bedroom doors. The perimeter will be secured. We gonna Alcatraz this joint!
I imagine he will break through the barriers like a Raptor on speed.
Then will begin many more hours of attempting to bring him back to his bed. There will be much crying and swearing. But I also see this as a golden opportunity to document this experience for others. So that others can live the moment with us. Or for others to pick up some more birth control. I will be Tweeting throughout the night about our progress. You can follow me at @tmspatz. If you don't have Twitter, don't worry, I will cut and paste the manuscript here over the next couple of days.
I have written the Husband an e-mail telling him he better take out his camo gear, I'll procure the pepper spray and tonight will be the night that will live in infamy... FOR TONIGHT WE WILL TAKE BACK OUR BED!
Keeps us in your thoughts. Hashtag #wearesoscrewed.
But recently the bedtime ritual is taking over an hour and then around 10 he will come to our bed and then around 4 or 5 he will start his demonic whispering and then we get all yelly with each other and this just isn't a good thing.
It is early in the morning and I have been up since 4 and I have come to a decision that it is time to break the Kid's spirit and make him sleep in his own bed. Instead of reading to him until he falls asleep, I will read a story from his book and not Jackie Collins, give him a kiss and turn off the light. And then the chaos will start.
I believe this will be a long long evening of going back to his room a bazillion times. And of course, that won't be the end of our journey. Oh no. He will definitely attempt to come into our bed sometime in the night. He has somehow perfected stealth mode and we don't even wake up anymore when he comes in so I will have to set up a barrier so at least we can hear him if he attempts to enter either of our bedroom doors. The perimeter will be secured. We gonna Alcatraz this joint!
I imagine he will break through the barriers like a Raptor on speed.
Then will begin many more hours of attempting to bring him back to his bed. There will be much crying and swearing. But I also see this as a golden opportunity to document this experience for others. So that others can live the moment with us. Or for others to pick up some more birth control. I will be Tweeting throughout the night about our progress. You can follow me at @tmspatz. If you don't have Twitter, don't worry, I will cut and paste the manuscript here over the next couple of days.
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| Hashtag #motherfu... |
I have written the Husband an e-mail telling him he better take out his camo gear, I'll procure the pepper spray and tonight will be the night that will live in infamy... FOR TONIGHT WE WILL TAKE BACK OUR BED!
Keeps us in your thoughts. Hashtag #wearesoscrewed.
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