Juicing and Pilates

Oh guys. I had such great intentions to go 10 days on just juice and just juice alone. On Friday morning I was all geared up. I made my juice, I drank my juice and in the evening I had a handful of black licorice so I wouldn't try and impale myself on a butter knife.

I knew going into the juicing cleanse that it would be hard so I totally planned a couple of distractions. In the morning I headed to Sports Direct which is AMAHZING! Everything is constantly on sale and I lose my ever loving mind every time I step in there. I bought a running holdy cell phone and keys arm thing and I don't even run but for 4 euros? I'LL TAKE IT! I had a 50 euro gift certificate from the Husband and I was able to buy all this for 53 euros. The Jew in me rejoiced!

So, I like pink. I got a pair of running shoes, a bag for Bikram to hold my sweddy sweddy stuff, a water bottle for my juice and a blow up ball because I am so going to use it at my desk at work. I am so going to use it for a day until I decide it will be more fun to lob it at colleagues walking by. AHA! Sneak attack!

After my awesome shopping trip, I headed home for more juice and then got ready for my spa appointment. For two hours I was picked at and prodded at and now my face is all supple and my eyebrows don't meet in the middle anymore. I headed home and hated anyone in my apartment who chewed. I was in bed by 8. The next morning I woke up and made more juice and I was feeling terrible. Absolutely lethargic and jerky and mean. But the scale showed a 4 pound loss and that eased the pain. As the day wore on, I realized that if I wanted to not hurt the people I love, I had to have a coffee. Even after a shot of espresso, I still felt terrible and it wasn't until my brain caught up (I had the dumbs as well) that I realized; oh, I have a cold. DAMMIT!

I realized that although my body was probably screaming "ET TU BRUTUS?" at all the healthiness that was being imbibed, it was not being THAT dramatic, rather, I was just coming down with something. I ended up having dinner. Stupid cold. This morning I headed to the scale and stepped on with one eye closed. And well, I am down 6.6 pounds. What?! I know it is mostly water (cheese/eggnog/marzipan/cheesefondue) weight but it just goes to show that I alter my eating for 2 days and my body starts eating itself. Yay! Today I juiced for breakfast and lunch and had a healthy vegan dinner and I feel much better. 2014 Tova would have been all "SCREW IT! I'm ordering a pizza", but mature 2015 Tova made a compromise and is feeling quite smug about her life choices.

Am I upset that I didn't make past 1.5 days of just juicing? A little. But the fact that the scale still showed a loss and that I'm fighting this cold like a champ? Pretty satisfied, actually.

This now brings me to my tips and things to know about juicing because after 3 days of on and off juicing, I'm an expert.

Expect to spend about 10-15 euros a day on juice ingredients. You should know that cleaning and prep can be a bitch. This is my MO after reading helpful Internet tips: Remove veg and fruit from fridge while listening to Taylor Swift's "Shake it Off!" (I hate that I can't quit you, Taylor). Wash fruit and veg. Cut apples, cucumbers and celery in half. Cut ginger into large chunks, peel lemons. Use a little garbage bag in the pulp collector because this will make clean up a lot easier. Make sure that pulp collector is firmly in place before turning on. Want to know how fast lemon pulp can fly? Fast. Really freaking fast. Put all prepped fruit and veg, in a colander and bring said colander to the machine. In the interim, fill up sink with warm soapy water. Now turn on machine and have pushy veg/fruit into maching thing in your left hand, hovering around the opening of the juicer. Why? You would know why if you've ever been bitch slapped by celery spinning around at mach 3. Once your putrid looking yet delicious drink is finished, discard pulp, dismantle machine, and place washable parts in the sink. I let it soak for about 5-10 minutes and then just rinse everything off. Except you can't just "rinse off" the sieve-like cutty thing. That requires brushing and swearing. The whole process is somewhat time consuming so know that when I am heading back to work, I am going to juice stuff just once a day or else I really will lose my mind.

What's the plan for the rest of the week? Well, I need to be careful not to get sick-er so I'm going to stick with the juicing for breakfast and lunch and then have a healthy meal for dinner. The other thing I'm sticking to is not drinking alcohol until next week. So that's the new detox plan and I'm happy about it because otherwise I might go all scary angry again.


And now onto something different but on the same tangent as health: pilates. This past Fall I was able to take pilates or rather Sha-lates with the fabulous Sharon Booth. A friend of mine told me in the summer that a friend of hers from her baby group was starting classes and she asked if I wanted to join. I assumed that by the Fall the Kid would be at daycare fulltime and that I would be all like "I HAVE SO MUCH FREE TIME!", I was wrong. Luckily the Husband was a superstar so I was able to attend on Thursday mornings at 8 a.m. Now, what my friend told me about Sharon and what I chose to hear before I started the course got somehow lost in translation.

Friend: She's a former ballerina.
Me: Yeah, me too. 3 years; aged 6 to 9. I was great.
Friend: No, like a reall ballerina.
Me: Well, yeah, me too.

I need to learn to actually listen and process information. I showed up in September and immediately saw that yes, Sharon is a ballerina. A real one. One who studied at Julliard, danced in San Francisco, Montreal and New York and now works with the Staatsoper and I didn't know any of this until after a few weeks of classes and I completely regret saying things like "Man, that kegger last night was da bomb!" or "Ugh, ate so much pizza last night, can't even touch my knees." And yes, I briefly considered wearing Spanx to class after a) seeing her and b) finding out so much more about her. But I didn't.


Now, regardless of the fact that she's the Black Swan to my Chicken Little, Sharon is great! Her pilates classes are small and intimate and her expertise and knowledge is amazing. She's patient and encouraging and won't judge you if you smell like gouda. I am sad that I can't join this semester (the in laws are gone for three months, the Nanny is unable to come for the next month (her daughter might be able to help us and I just hope the Kid thinks that the Nanny is Benjamin Buttoning) and we are still on half days at daycare) so if you are looking for a great one hour class, please check out Sharon's courses. A 10 block costs 130 or if you pay per class, 14 euros. And she doesn't make you sweat so you can totally wear make up. Ugh, shut up, Tova. For more information, please send an e-mail to booth.sharon@gmail.com. I would tell you to say that Tova sent you but that might not be the best idea. Last class I probably smelled like rum-spiked eggnog.

Anyway...I can't believe my Christmas vacation is coming to a close. It was amazing and I still have some blog posts to post and well, I guess I am kind of excited to really get into 2015 because it's time for an awesome year! Nighty night!


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