Sick of Being Sick and the Give Away Winner

Oh you guys. I am like the worst sick person in the world. I am a whiny, obnoxious brat. I kvetch, I moan and I go through every emotion in my playbook of, well, emotions. I should have known that I was coming down with something because I had some pretty obvious clues. The first was when I started my juice cleanse and then I got a cold and then the cold just kind of stayed stagnant. And then there was the clue when I was unable to get out of bed before 6 a.m. for a few days in a row. And then there was Thursday morning at home when I turned into a motherloving lunatic. I literally went from my normal scrappy morning person to "this person should be instutionalized, stat". Oh there were tears and there were threats and I should have put myself in time out.

But was that enough evidence that I was on the verge of being very sick? Nope! It wasn't until Thursday evening when I started getting major upper back pain and shortness of breath that I realized that something was a-brewing. I could barely drag myself from bed on Friday morning and since then, I have been a whiny, obnoxious brat. The weekend was spent at home with the Husband helping out as much as possible and him yelling at me to lie down. I kept getting spurts of energy and then searing pain in my faceicle would happen and then I would lie down and whimper "I'm siiiiiick" and then repeat the whole spiel again and again.

If I didn't weigh more than the Husband, he would have probably tied me to the bed on Saturday. By Sunday I still wasn't feeling any better and that's when I started thinking that I probably had the cancer or something and I hate WebMD. I wrote my doctor and he responded with an appointment for Monday morning and thank you private health insurance. I hate going to the doctor but after several days of complete exhaustion and face pain, it was time.

My appointment was at 10:30 and I got there at 10:10 because I am always early. I sat in the waiting room and stressed about being at the doctor's office. Then that Meatloaf "I would do anything for love" song came on and I started to cry because of course I did. Luckily a Backstreet Boys song came on after or else I would have been reduced to a blubbery mess in front of the doctor. I do really like my doctor. He's Spanish and eccentric and I feel like I am in some odd British comedy a la Allo Allo everytime I go there.

Him: So ee sounds like you have sinus problem? Your mucus, look a like pus?
Me: Um. Gosh. No. I don't think so?
Him: See, if mucus look like pus you hava the bacterial infection. Sno good? Right?
Me: No, sno good.
Him: I give you the cortisone. Lotta people no like the cortisone.
Me: (hand raised in the air) Oh no sir, I have NO problem with the cortisone. Give me the cortisone.
Him: Is not a lot of cortisone. Jus a leetle cortisone.
Me: I'll take any cortisone. GIVE ME THE CORTISONE!

He's a great doctor and I very much appreciated the illustration of sinuses in pink highlighter and it once again made me very sure of my choice of having never ever considered medicine as a major because, ew, gross. And also due to the fact that I don't have the smarts for medical school.

After the appointment, I headed to the pharmacy and tried to look not shady as I passed the prescription over. She went to the back and then came back empty handed and I was about to lose my mind. Then she said something about how it didn't mention it should be subsidized or whatever and that I would have to pay the whole price and I think I responded with "I DON'T CARE! GIVE IT TO ME!" and I threw money at her and headed home.

Since we have the new temporary nanny, we are lucky because her hours are a little more flexible. She is able to pick the Kid up from daycare at noon so this makes our lives just a little bit easier. I met her just before noon and showed her the ropes and then the plan was that we go back to the apartment and then I would pretend to leave and then hide in the bedroom so that I could watch re-runs of Real Housewives of New York (the Bethenny/Jill bff episodes because those were awesome times). I got about 30 minutes of alone time and then the Kid figured out something was up and came in. And that was the end of solitude. He kept trying to come in and the Nanny kept trying to take him out of the room and then I finally decided that it would be better if I just found a cafe to sit and drink tea in because having a 40 pound toddler jump on me was not conducive to healing. I wrapped myself in layers and packed my Kindle and walked to a cafe.

I sat in misery for 2 hours but at least it was quiet and I could read Jackie Collins in peace. I headed back home, thanked the Nanny and then played "Let Mommy lie on the sofa for a while" with the Kid. And so now the Husband is home, we had dinner and the Kid is finally asleep. I will be heading to bed soon because I am exhausted from everything and I can't wait to spend the morning in bed while the Kid is at daycare. Have also placed one sofa in front of one set of doors that lead to the bedroom because I am barricading myself in the bedroom tomorrow afternoon. There will be toddler in my bedroom to interrupt Kelly Bensimon's "I'm up here and you're down here" speech.

See, I told you that I am an obnoxious, self pitying sick person. So enough about that. On to something fun. Here is the result of the Operation Tubetop give away!!

I had the Kid reach into the cup and that took about 15 minutes of me running after him yelling "Just stick your hand into the damn cup!!!"

He finally stuck his monkey paw in and a piece stuck.
The winner is: Leslie! (Terrible picture, sorry!)

Congratulations! Drop me a PM with your address and I will mail it on Thursday/Friday when I am back at work!

Thank you to everybody who participated. There will be another give away next month! Stay tuned!