Another Letter to Hearst Publications

Hi everybody! As I mentioned before, I received a response last Friday from Hearst Publications regarding my second complaint that I had not received my January issue. I wasn't pleased with the response. Here it is.

Thank you for your email.
I am very sorry to hear of your frustration on this matter, I can assure you that all magazines are sent out in a timely manner to reach you as soon as possible.

I hope your magazine arrives shortly, once against please accept my apologies.

Please do not hesitate to contact me for any further assistance.

Kind Regards,
N

I feel like "timely manner" could be replaced with "hell, if I know". I waited a few days so that I could see if my magazine would have been expressed over. It wasn't. So I wrote back this morning and here it is:

Dear N.

Thank you for your e-mail. I guess I shouldn't have used the word "frustrating" because at this point I am more "miffed". It is now January 21st and still no January issue in my post box. I continue to miss out on Good Housekeeping tips for cutting calories, tips to organize my home office, finding good life/work balance and probably so much more. But I wouldn't know because I still don't have the magazine. I received my U.S. Good Housekeeping for January (IN DECEMBER - I don't want you guys to feel bad (comparison is the WORST and I say that as a middle child))  and while I am not that great at geography (N., literally I spent an afternoon watching skiing, confusing Borneo with Bormeo and silently wondered why a tropical island had chalets and snow) but I do think that the United States is just a touch further away from Austria than the U.K. and so it "miffs" me that I continue to sit empty handed. You know who was on the cover of the U.S. Good Housekeeping? Jillian Michaels, that's who. She's great. I follow her on Twitter. I have a couple of her DVD's that I should really start again. But I'm lacking that motivation because I'm lacking your fine fine magazine. Who was on the cover of the January U.K. issue? Oh nevermind, I guess I will find out in a timely manner.

Now, N., I know that L. (say hi for me if she is around!) assured me that a new copy would arrive in 28 days and you assured me that "all magazines are sent out in a timely manner" and now I am a little confused. Not Borneo/Bormeo confused, buy still confused. I know that it isn't your fault that my magazine didn't arrive. You don't control the mail... but I thought that maybe, just maybe, I would get something to make me feel a little bit better about missing valuable days where I would be learning to use non-fat Greek yoghurt versus regular, or how to make my marriage stronger, or even how to navigate a MAN'S WORLD in business but alas... I just got an e-mail. No keychain... no oven mitt...no t-shirt.Hey! A t-shirt would be great. If I weren't overweight and looked good while running, I would totally sign up for a 5K just for the t-shirt but seeing as that isn't going to happen, I was thinking maybe I could get a t-shirt. And you know what would be awesome? If you could write with a sharpie something like "You Number 1, Tova!" and I would wear the crap out of that. 

Oh no. I've made myself too excited. So I'll let you get on with your day. How's the weather over there? Here it is grey. But that's o.k. I'll get through it thinking about my awesome new t-shirt I should be receiving in 28 days or in a timely manner.

Kind regards,

Tova 

If I don't get a t-shirt, I am going to be totally bummed.