The Moral of the Story

There is always a moral of the story. Every once in a while it shows itself. Right now, right at this point of my life, I have come to the conclusion that it is incredibly important to be a good person. For the most part, I am a nice person (maybe a little McJudge McJudgy Pants) and I truly think that this pays off. Vienna is a small town, especially in the English speaking community. I don't think I have ever attended an event where there wasn't some kind of 6 degrees of separation game happening. Or booze. Everybody knows somebody that knows somebody and that somebody might one day tell another somebody about you. Sure, there be haters. That's to be expected, but for the most part, I find that I am liked and that is a good thing. I'm not talking "popular" because that would require me to shave my legs a little more often and join some type of cheerleading squad and my back hurts and I really enjoy going to bed before 10 p.m. I digress. The moral of the story is; BE NICE!

Ach, young Adam McJudge McJudgy, from the McPrejudice Clan

A friend and I have had many conversations about the term "Kissing ass" or, in more refined circles, known as "Brown nosing" and how some people confuse this with being "nice". There is a difference. Being nice means you will offer to pick up a coffee for your superior. Kissing ass means you will offer to pick up a coffee for your superior even if you are not at work and you have lost the use of your legs. There is a difference between being a people person and a people pleaser. And this actually took me a long time to get it. I might have mentioned it before but when I was about 4, my sister was bemoaning the fact that she had to start a new school and was worried about not making friends. In my toddler wisdom I told her "Just follow them around until they talk to you". Still do that today, actually.

Hey guys! I'm Tova! Whacha talking about?!? Mind if I just stand here? Looking at you? Following your every move?

I spent many years going out of my way to do things for people just so they would like me. Now I seem to go out my way to do things for people so that I like me. This is huge. And this is probably why I am in therapy. I've started to realize the power of "no" and that if I have to say it, it shouldn't mean that someone doesn't like me anymore because of it. It is pretty empowering. Sometimes I hear about someone disliking me which makes me think a) why you telling me this? and b) meh. Before last year, I would have spent a long time trying to go out of my way to make this person like me but after this past year, I say "Good day, Sir. I SAID GOOD DAY". Life is too short.

So back to the moral of the story... as my friend wrote on Facebook quoting one of the best films ever - Dirty Rotten Scoundrels - "it is better to be kind and good... than to not" because you just don't know who that somebody might know. Somebody, of course.

P.S. I am heading to the Vienna Expat Meet and Greet this evening at Sand in the City at the Weinbar so drop by so that I can follow you around until you talk to me. And then we can be best friends forever and ever and we can hold hands and talk about ponies and pick flowers and....