Operation Tubetop

As I have mentioned before, I have tried a lot of different diets, eating plans, starvation, etc. I can work out til the cows (me) come home but the real key to weight loss is food. Here are the diets I have tried in the past: Atkins: I had great success low carbing but to be honest, I'm kind of done with this eating plan. I think it has a lot of value and is still a great diet but I always would get to a point where I would like seriously cut my own husband for a bagel. Slimfast: This one ain't bad if you have about 5 pounds to lose. The shakes are ok priced and the idea is that you have one for breakfast, one for lunch and then a low calorie dinner. It's doable for a week or two and then the idea of consuming another shake drives me to homicidal thoughts. Dukan: I lasted a day. Lots of small meals throughout the day: This one is good but my small meals ended up being big meals and then I was eating about 7 large meals a day and well, that ain't good. Even th...

This morning I painted the bathroom and toilet doors and the frame of the door in our living room. The paint store suggested sanding first and I laughed and I laughed. I have a sander from when I decided to repaint an old 1970's Ikea glossy blue dining room table. I had blue snot for days. Since then, I have avoided sanding. So I just went straight to work and the doors are all streaky but actually, it looks kind of neat. Kind of weathered and beachy and oh God, I hope the Husband doesn't kill me tonight when he gets home. Probably should shave my legs and put on a low cut top. My next big project involves redecorating the toilet. We currently have ugly brown tile on the walls and ugly brown tile on the floor. But I am not going to paint it. Oh no no no. No more painting. Instead, I am going to add stuff. I am on the hunt for old wooden frames which I will paint white and add some interesting flower collages onto canvas and hang them all around the toilet. The colours will be...

Two days ago I finally removed my nail shellac. Bye. I loved you. It lasted over 3 weeks without chipping but it had really grown out so it was time to say goodbye. I briefly considered calling it the "ombre" look but I can only take ombre so far. To remove shellac you need the following: 10 cotton balls Nail polish remover 10 small sheets of aluminuiminin foil Orange stick (I don't know why it is called an orange stick but it's a stick with one pointy side and one kind of flat side. I guess you could use a wooden kebab skewer as well.) Nail buffer Soak the cotton balls in nail polish remover. Enjoy the high. Place cotton ball on nail and then wrap a piece of foil around the nail. Wait about 15 minutes. Remove the cotton ball. The shellac polish should look flaky. Gently (or not, in my case) scrape the polish off. When finished, buff yo' nails, yo! I am now totally obsessed with shellac polish. I need to buy some stat because regular polish is now like a...

Been a busy few days. This morning I dropped the Kid off, did some Zumba and then worked on reorganizing the kitchen. It looks a lot better and I threw out about 4 big garbage bags of crap. This time off is a great opportunity to tackle big projects I have been putting off forevah! My other big task this week is to paint the doors in the apartment. They be brown, they be ugly, they be painted white! Tomorrow I will pick up a bucket of paint and then Thursday will be painting day! I cannot wait to get started and well, to actually finish because the process actually sucks. On Friday we had yet another appointment at the ear doctor for the Kid. Attempt number 2 at a hearing test. Yeah, that didn't happen. After the failed test attempt, we met with the doctor and once again his ears had fluid. I swear, the doctor made it sound like our fault. I wanted to say "Well, geez, I guess we shouldn't have let him go pearl diving yesterday. Our bad." ugh. So we have yet another ...

I Zumba Wii'd twice today. In the morning, after dropping the Kid off at daycare, I did a medium length class. At lunch I met a couple of friends for bagels, which was a lot of fun, and then I headed home and did a full length Zumba Wii class. I've realised, after talking to my sister, Zumba is the perfect exercise for me right now. I love hitting the cross trainer at the gym (45 minutes of uninterrupted reading) but I don't love waking up at 5:30 every morning now that I am off work. So I have decided to go to the gym twice a week and then mostly focus on getting a lot of Zumba in. The perfect thing about Zumba is that I sweat buckets but I'm not in pain and not terribly out of breath after. The songs seem to be perfectly timed so you don't keel over and die half way through (the songs have another issue, but I'll get to that in a minute). When looking for an exercise you can commit to, look for something that is fun. Last summer I did the Jillian Michaels work...

I can't think of anything worse than flying with a hyperactive two year old... Besides maybe ebola. On Sunday we were all packed and ready to go. The taxi picked us up at 9 and bless the driver's heart, he was super awesome and patient as the Husband and I wrestled the Kid and tried to put the car seat in. Snapped in and some tears later, we were off and the Kid was babbling happily in the back. We got to the airport and the Kid did not want to transition from car seat to stroller so he held my hand and we entered the terminal. He luckily was pretty overwhelmed by all the people and probably a little ticked he wasn't getting any attention from the masses. Note to parents: Nobody thinks your kid is cute at the airport. Nobody. Flying within Europe is unbelievably civilized so the Husband was able to drop off our baggage without the Kid and me which meant more walking and whining from the Kid. The great thing about the Vienna ariport is that they have a seperate security pl...

It's good to be home! It was a super fast trip and unfortunately I got super sick half way through and the Kid got a cold as well. But it was great to see the family and to see my sister and her kids. The Kid was a bundle of energy and stay tuned for my post about flying with a two year old. You'll laugh, you'll cry, you'll double up on birth control. Due to stress I ate a lot of crap the last few days and despite being sick, I need to get back to some healthy healthy eating. My sister is looking amazing and she says it is all down to Zumba. She is an instructor and is super svelte now. She says that by constantly teaching, she is able to eat what she wants (to a point). Well, I'm sold. More Zumba Wii for me, wee!  Tonight I am making crockpot fajitas and here is the recipe: 2 chicken breasts 2 tablespoons fajita seasoning 1 sliced onion 1 sliced red pepper Veggie broth about 1 cup 1 cup fat free joghurt  1/2 cup corn It will cook for a fe...

Yesterday was a public holiday and we had a superb day with the Kid. In the morning we went to a park closer to the center because, yes I am a snob. The Kid found the only damn puddle in the place and spent 30 minutes playing in it. Several people took his picture and hey I don't mind. Unless of course they use his picture in an ad and then mommy wants her cut. In the afternoon we walked around the neighbourhood and it was great. Middle of the day, not so great. Instead of our nap (the Husband and me), we decided to look at holiday options. We've narrowed it down to Greece. The 3 hours kinda went like this. G: Which Greek island is closer to Austria? Me: Why? G: So the flight will be faster. Me: It won't make a difference. Greece is small anyway. G: (spluttering) It's huge! Me: Sweetie, I'm from Canada., Greece is a pimple on a map 45 minutes later we've narrowed it down to Rhodes Me: Ok, what about this place? Looks amazing! G: There aren't any ...

Last night the Kid had a nightmare and the Husband had stepped out to throw out the garbage. I picked him up and brought him into our bed. He fell asleep immediately and I heard the Husband come back into the apartment. He grabbed a bottle of water for the Kid and went into his room to place it in the crib. I admit it, I waited a couple of seconds before going in to warn him the Kid was no longer in his crib. I found the Husband checking the laundry hamper for him. I about died laughing. After 20 minutes we put the Kid back into his bed... after I stopped laughing of course. I'm going to hell. Yesterday I picked up my passport and had planned to pick up something for my mom in the center in the afternoon. The weather decided that wasn't going to happen. Torrential downpour, lightning and thunder, I was in heaven. Once in a while I love a good storm. I would have loved it more had I been at home, on my balcony, dry. This morning I hit the gym again and Tubesock Lady has uppe...

Just over 4 weeks in and I'm down 7 pounds. I was hoping it would have been more seeing as I have been working out like a demon and eating well. But the good news is that physically I'm changing slowly. I've lost about 3 centimeters off my waist and 3 off my hips. The weirdest part is that my butt seems higher. So that's a win? Non? High butt! Yay? Anyway, things are weird at the gym lately. The past few months there have been the regulars. Below is the list of players I deal with at 6:00 a.m.: The grandma: I'm not sure how old she is. She's probably in her 50's but her hair screams older. She is pretty dedicated and seems to come every weekday morning. What I can't figure out is why she comes to the gym in full work clothes and then changes into gym clothes. Ain't nobody got time for that. We co-exist because she hits the treadmill and then the bike and avoids the crosstrainer. She doesn't like me because I don't talk to her. At 6 in the...

Well, the Husband is home today. His foot is still hurting. He played softball last night and what a suprise is still hurts. Poor guy. I banished him to the bedroom to watch TV there so that I could get a session of Wii Zumba in. I told him I would murder him if he came into the living room. Ain't nobody needs to see me try and dance. My new fave mid length class is the New York Night Club one. There's one dance that I call Leaving the Apartment in a Hurry ... One move is repeated throughout the dance and you pretty much go back and forth and back and forth. It kind of looks like when I am in a hurry and have to leave and I'm like "Kindle, keys, Kindle, keys" as I run back and forth. I heart. I also hit the gym this morning so now I feel all ripped and sore. I will have a pita with some cheese for lunch and then for dinner I am making roasted onions and red pepper with a lime dressing, homemade tzatziki, feta and grilled pitas. Healthy healty. Tomorrow for din...

I love Sunday afternoons. Right now the Kid is napping and so is the Husband. The Husband hurt his foot, sleeping... 3 days later and he is still in pain. It happens every 6 months or so and at least this time he doesn't blame it on a draft (if you live in Austria, you will totally get what I mean). Friday the Kid was home since his daycare was closed and we had a rocking time. I built a fort and a second later he threw himself on top of it and destroyed it. He tried to get me to ride his tiny tricycle and that is just not a good view from the back. I told friends last night, it was like wearing a plastic G-string. Friday night the Husband and I had a relaxing dinner at home and talked about inane stuff. Saturday was spent at home, bitching about Dora once again. Saturday night we went out with friends for a chill childless dinner and drinks after. It was a lot of fun! This morning the Husband took the Kid to a playground and I cleaned and laundried and dusted and now I am Pintere...

It is a rainy day and that is a-ok. It will motivate me to write more. This morning at 5:30 there was a great little storm and it made me feel all Gothic and happy. I heart storms. The Husband and I will sit on the balcony and take in a good storm while I yell at him "Stop touching the goddamn metal railing!" Aww. One time when he was away for business there was an epic storm in the evening. I sat on the balcony with my glass of wine and then kaboom!! The church across the street was hit by lightning. I jumped higher than any girl ever with big boobs has but amazingly I didn't spill my wine. I called the Husband about the lightning strike and he didn't believe til he came back and saw the clock had actually stopped on the church tower. Booyah! But enough of that, in other news, a friend PM'd me with some weight loss advice of her own.. Hey, is that Sharon Stone on Magnum? Focus, Tova. Anyway, she sent me her way that she lost a ton of weight and I asked her if I...