Things I See on My Walks

Guys. I am not quite sure what to say. One post and I am like, I am like, wait... let me put down my wine... I am like plutzing. I cannot believe all the messages I have received the last few days. As I wrote on the Operation Tubetop page, I am so incredibly overwhelmed and so incredibly touched. I feel like Anne Hathaway before everybody started to dislike her. Not sure why... she had great bangs in "The Devil Wears Prada". Anywho. I am amazed at the response and I vow to keep on posting... even though I am sitting here, thinking.. "hmmm... how can I top that post about living in Vienna.?"

So, I have decided to tawk about my walks. Because.. why not? As most of you know, I take a walk almost every morning. I do this because otherwise I would spend at least an hour reading reality gossip and while I find that a wonderful thing to do, I realize that at 33, I need to stop writing "eu mah gawd" in the comments section everytime there is a post about Teresa Giudice. So anyway...

Things I see on my walks:

I start out at our place on the fabulous Drasche Park. I pull up my hoodie and make my way to Wiedner Haupstrasse. I walk on the other side because there is a place beside the Belgian Embassy that says "Sauna" and I am pretty sure, based on their opening hours, that it is not a wellness centre. I cross the big street and keep walking. Once in a while I have to crosss the street again because at 5:50 in the morning street signs sometimes look like rapists in the distance.

Just the other day, I passed a bar at 5:30 in the morning and two women and a man (who had whipped off his button up shirt) were dancing to "Sex Bomb". I was amused. And a little concerned.

Not even close to what I saw.. but you are welcome.

I keep walking down this street and just before I get to Margareten strasse, I pass a brothel. Now now, in Europe, this is not a big deal. But yet, this still makes my inner prude stand up and go "QUE?". And I would be totally lying when I would not say that I am a little disappointed when the door doesn't open when I walk by. I have no idea what I would see but I have an imagination, I see throw pillows and Chevron wallpaper. Non?. Before you judge me for being a pervert (I totally am one) I just have to explain that it is more of a morbid curiosity than being a weirdo. When I moved here for the second time, 10 years ago, and I had the opportunity to take a taxi along the Gurtel, I pointed out prostitutes like familes play "punch buggy!!!!" I'd be all tipsy and would exclaim "THERE'S A HOOKER! THERE'S ANOTHER ONE!" I'm not proud. Moving on.

Then I hit Margareten strasse, I cross over and walk along the right hand sidewalk and make my way to the 5th district. I pass a cinema that has been renovated and looks amahzing but know that I won't be seeing a show there until well into my 40's. I keep walking and come upon the Margaretenhof which is one of my most favourite of building compounds in Vienna. It is spectacular and what I imagine Hansel and Gretel would have built once they won that personal injury suit.

I cross the road and head back down Margareten. I pass a few shops and hit the 4th district again. I pass a designer clothing store called "Elfenkleid" and schmutz up their windows with my breath of wanting. Once I have done that, I keep going and pass a shop that sells the most fabulous squirrel topped serving dish but for 250 euros I go "Nuh uh" and then wonder what I could re-create with Play Doh at home.

And, dear readers, please never Google "Squirrel dishes". I need to take a shower now.

I keep walking and pass the bagel shop and then turn right and head to Wiedner Haupstrasse. Since it is near the university, I have to be extra careful about random puke but for the most part, iz all ok. I cross where the Paulaner Kirche is and keep walking up Wiedner Haupstrasse which is lined with lovely trees. Little sidenote: a few months ago, when I started this walk, there was a shop that seemed to be under construction for foreva which had a sign that read "Lactose free, gluten free desserts". Rich white girl that I am, was intrigued. For 3 months I walked by in anticipation. It has finally opened and is called "Allergiker Cafe". It looks cute, but this morning, I spied a harp. Ugh. Harps. Don't get me wrong, the harp is a fine instrument... but... I am sorry.... I dislike the harp. Go ahead, beat me. It has nothing to do with the sound that a harp makes. No, rather it has to do with me and my dislike of large instruments. Long story short, I finally got to play the cello when I was 10. The parental units rented me a cello with a soft case. Every Tuesday I had to take that damn thing on the school bus and I cannot describe how terrified I was to leave a head-sized dent in that rented cello everytime that school bus hit the brakes. Shudder.

Anywho, I keep walking until Johann Strauss Gasse and walk past the Burschenschaft (saving that for another post. Spit spit) and then hit our lovely park where I make a loop around and try to climb the ivy to get a better look at the beautiful apartments surrounding it. So far.. no luck. And then I am home. It may seem a little boring to do this 5 times a week, but actually... it is awesome. You just never know when that brothel door might open.