Visiting the Doctor in Vienna
Well, what a week? I'm officially home due to a sinus infection. On Tuesday afternoon I had some pain in my upper back and just assumed that I had pulled some muscles in excitement when I discovered that Martha Stewart has a calendar that details her plans for the month. If I follow her calendar, I too can be her. I just need to find an easy way to the Hamptons and perhaps buy some real estate so that I can plant daffodil bulbs in anticipation for a 2015 Spring.
Yeah, ahem. Anyway. On Tuesday evening, I headed to a friend's place where I made some curry and we watched So I Married an Axe Murderer. I tell ya (In a Canadian accent), that film is still amahzing. And maybe it's my age, or the illness, but I was finding Mike Myers incredibly attractive. Maybe personality truly does count?
I started to feel worse during the night and by Wednesday, I was having problems breathing and I was not happy. When I get sick, one of two things can happen. I can turn into a bumbling, pathetic cabbage patch doll with body issues or a raging bitch.
I chose "bitch" for Wednesday. I think I yelled at the Husband for trying to fold a fitted sheet in the morning. "YOU CAN'T DO IT! OH SURE! THERE'S A VIDEO! BUT UNTIL I WATCH IT AIN'T NOBODY IN THIS HOUSE GONNA FOLD A FITTED SHEET! OH! AND BY THE WAY! WHEN'S THE LAST TIME YOU BROUGHT ME FLOWERS?" followed by wheezing and getting under the covers and whimpering "I'm siiiiiiick" The Husband backed out slowly of the bedroom and took the Kid to daycare.
At noon, the Kid came back and we played the game "Let Mommy lie on the floor while you watch Dora". The Nanny came at 1:30 and I was able to slip into the bedroom where I spent 3 hours of bliss asleep. I started to feel a little better in the evening and thought I would be back at work the next day. Wasn't going to happen as I awoke in the middle of the night with a pounding headache and face pain. Luckily I got some suggestions for a GP and on Thursday morning I headed to one in the First District because yes I am a snob but I am a very very nice person. After waiting about an hour, I was called in and I kept my heart contained within my chest cavity because I literally have the greatest fear of doctors. This doc was incredibly sweet. Noted my pastiness, my clamminess, checked my ears and my throat, made me hold my head down and then whip it back up (very Footloose) and then said "Yes, you have the sinus infection. Stay home for week, take antibiotics. Oh, and your neck is fat, make an appointment for an ultrasound" Z'Ok, Doc. You're nice and all. Will just grab that prescription there and my fat neck and I will be on our merry way. Great, childhood complex rising.
I decided to stop at the pharmacy on the Graben. Yes, I know. I'm a snob. So sue me for liking to buy my drugs at pretty places. I brought out my prescription and the very nice pharmacist typed it up and informed me that my drugs would be coming up shortly. Wait. What? Was this some weird Alicia Silverstone chew-the-drug-first-pass-to-customer new age crap? Coming up? What do you MEAN?!? Oh, there's a hole on the counter. Here come the drugs up through the hole. I'll just pay my bill but not before I exclaimrd out loud "THAT IS LIKE THE COOLEST THING EVER! I want that for everything in my home!" and then I realized I was being an idiot and left quickly.
I got home, took my drugs and picked up the Kid. We once again played "Let mommy lie on the floor while you watch Dora" and then the Nanny came again and I got to sleep in the bedroom once more. I'm still feeling like crap but at least I know what I am dealing with... a fat neck complex. Hopefully next week I can get my neck scanned and it will just show fat and not some baby neck Gremlin who's made it his home.
So, it's time to head back to bed. I woke up too early because I thought I had to impress my Fitbit but I'm all like "Not today Fitbit, not today". Happy weekend.
Yeah, ahem. Anyway. On Tuesday evening, I headed to a friend's place where I made some curry and we watched So I Married an Axe Murderer. I tell ya (In a Canadian accent), that film is still amahzing. And maybe it's my age, or the illness, but I was finding Mike Myers incredibly attractive. Maybe personality truly does count?
I started to feel worse during the night and by Wednesday, I was having problems breathing and I was not happy. When I get sick, one of two things can happen. I can turn into a bumbling, pathetic cabbage patch doll with body issues or a raging bitch.
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| What the what? Oh Internet, you're awesome. |
I chose "bitch" for Wednesday. I think I yelled at the Husband for trying to fold a fitted sheet in the morning. "YOU CAN'T DO IT! OH SURE! THERE'S A VIDEO! BUT UNTIL I WATCH IT AIN'T NOBODY IN THIS HOUSE GONNA FOLD A FITTED SHEET! OH! AND BY THE WAY! WHEN'S THE LAST TIME YOU BROUGHT ME FLOWERS?" followed by wheezing and getting under the covers and whimpering "I'm siiiiiiick" The Husband backed out slowly of the bedroom and took the Kid to daycare.
At noon, the Kid came back and we played the game "Let Mommy lie on the floor while you watch Dora". The Nanny came at 1:30 and I was able to slip into the bedroom where I spent 3 hours of bliss asleep. I started to feel a little better in the evening and thought I would be back at work the next day. Wasn't going to happen as I awoke in the middle of the night with a pounding headache and face pain. Luckily I got some suggestions for a GP and on Thursday morning I headed to one in the First District because yes I am a snob but I am a very very nice person. After waiting about an hour, I was called in and I kept my heart contained within my chest cavity because I literally have the greatest fear of doctors. This doc was incredibly sweet. Noted my pastiness, my clamminess, checked my ears and my throat, made me hold my head down and then whip it back up (very Footloose) and then said "Yes, you have the sinus infection. Stay home for week, take antibiotics. Oh, and your neck is fat, make an appointment for an ultrasound" Z'Ok, Doc. You're nice and all. Will just grab that prescription there and my fat neck and I will be on our merry way. Great, childhood complex rising.
I decided to stop at the pharmacy on the Graben. Yes, I know. I'm a snob. So sue me for liking to buy my drugs at pretty places. I brought out my prescription and the very nice pharmacist typed it up and informed me that my drugs would be coming up shortly. Wait. What? Was this some weird Alicia Silverstone chew-the-drug-first-pass-to-customer new age crap? Coming up? What do you MEAN?!? Oh, there's a hole on the counter. Here come the drugs up through the hole. I'll just pay my bill but not before I exclaimrd out loud "THAT IS LIKE THE COOLEST THING EVER! I want that for everything in my home!" and then I realized I was being an idiot and left quickly.
I got home, took my drugs and picked up the Kid. We once again played "Let mommy lie on the floor while you watch Dora" and then the Nanny came again and I got to sleep in the bedroom once more. I'm still feeling like crap but at least I know what I am dealing with... a fat neck complex. Hopefully next week I can get my neck scanned and it will just show fat and not some baby neck Gremlin who's made it his home.
So, it's time to head back to bed. I woke up too early because I thought I had to impress my Fitbit but I'm all like "Not today Fitbit, not today". Happy weekend.
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