The New Daycare

I cannot believe we have survived the past few months. Since May we have been juggling schedules and working out contingency plans for half day daycare. The past 6 weeks, the Kid has had no daycare at all and I have noticed the past couple of weeks he has been a little stir-crazy. So Wednesday was finally the start of the new, dream daycare downstairs.

I was pukey, I was shakey, I wished for an alcohol addiction so I could make myself an early morning mimosa while cracking some inappropriate joke. The Kid could tell something was up when I pulled out the Polo shirt in lime green and the pants that actually fit and have a crease on the legs. As I wrote on Facebook, it was eerily similar to that first scene in Jurassic Park when they are transporting the Raptor in that cage and that guy gets sucked in. Replace cage with carriage, and guy, with me holding cookies.

Mommy's bringing out the collared shirts, time to go ape shit.

At 8:45, we walked less than a minute and made it to the front gate. He knew what was up and tried to escape. We did the whole "Bye Raphael, see you later. BYE BYE!" which never ever works but there were other parents around so threatening the Kid didn't seem like a great way to make a first impression. We chatted with the director briefly as the Kid ran in the front yard. She suggested we just leave him out there and he will eventually follow. Yes! High five principal lady! We chatted briefly to another dad and when I heard silence, I went to investigate. He was in the director's office, sitting at her desk, playing with her. I literally laughed out loud. He doesn't deal with middle management, he goes straight to the top.

After a few minutes, he finally followed us in and promptly laid down in the middle of the hallway. We met both teachers - one is a child specialist (thank you! FINALLY!) and the other a trained kindergarten teacher. There are also 2 classroom helpers. So, let's do some math. Fifteen kids and 4 adults for no cost at all, versus 15 kids and 2-3 adults for 300 euros a month. I'm not good at numbers but I think THIS IS AWESOME!

By my calulations, I can afford a new pair of shoes every month now.

The staff are all so friendly and understanding. And then... and then they said "How about you all sit out here and let him make the decision to go into the classroom on his own". NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!

You may recall that this was the suggestion at the other place we tried out in January. This lead to 4 weeks of sitting in a drafty coat room, trying to let a 3 year make a life choice he didn't want to make. No. Not this time Senorita. Not on my watch. Mommy no play that game. After 45 minutes of him rolling on the ground, playing up his special needs, I suggested I go into the classroom with him. They were cool with it and of course, as soon as I went in, he came. After 15 minutes they suggested that was great for the first day and we then headed home. They seemed quite happy with the result but I couldn't help but have a little post traumatic stress from our last experience.

Yesterday was day two and I decided that the best way to get him in was to go straight into the classroom. I took off my hoops and heels and sat down by the toys. He came with me and proceeded to sit on my lap for 90 minutes, kvetching every time I shifted to avoid children. One girl talked at me for about 10 minutes. Her nail polish was nice. Apparently, as she informed me, it was a combination of pink and purple glitter. The teacher finally suggested it was time to go home again and the Kid actually got a little pissed. He was loving sitting on my lap, wrapping himself in my poncho (I've gotten fat) and watching the other kids.

Tell me more about your nail polish and your hobbies and your parents' names

After some wailing on his part, we got home and watched some cartoons and I tried not to rock back and forth. This is going to be a very long month. Unfortunately I don't have much time to take off so the Husband and the Mother in Law and I will have to trade off mornings with the Nanny taking over the afternoons. I have a feeling that he will be going into that room more often on his own if I am not there. He sticks to me like mud sticks to a toddler. I know I should be bouncing off the walls in joy but I've been burned before. I know this is a totally different ball game; a) they can't kick us out; b) they are actually trained professionals and c) they know that he is special needs but all the hurt and despair has been coming back out in my cranium and reminding me of that terrible time a few months ago. I'm also getting sick so I know I am hyper sensitive at this time. Even though I will deny it that I was acting all psychotic the other night when the Husband asked if I put margarine or butter on his English Muffin and I responded with "WHAT IS YOUR OBSESSION WITH BUTTER?!?! WHAT ARE YOU?!?! THE BUTTER NAZI! WHAT'S YOUR PROBLEM?!?!" Yeah, that was a fun dinner.

The starter of marital discord in this home

So anyway, that is the update for now. The place truly is amazing and we could not be luckier to have a spot in this amazing place. I just need to shake this funk. I wish I had a crystal ball that could show me that all will be well, that the Kid will finally find his voice, that he will be just a normal child, happy and well-adjusted. That every time I bring him to daycare I won't have a pit in my stomach, bracing to hear just how terribly he behaved the day before, to have a normal day where there aren't 3 different relatives taking care of  him in 3 hour shifts and maybe, just maybe, we can have just a normal life again. Most importantly, I just want him to find himself.