A Great Laternenfest, Officially a Verein and Why I Shouldn't Be Allowed to Talk to Strangers
What a week! While there was sadness, there was also joy. One of those joyous moments was the Kid's Laternenfest. Laternenfest usually involves small combustible paper lantern death traps with small tealights lit on fire. The fact that there haven't been more toddlers turned into human torches defies all logic. The new trend is to use those electric tealights and I think this makes perfect sense.
As I wrote in an earlier post, this year the kindergarten was hosting it at a palace. The Belvedere palace is about a 25 minute walk from our place and even though the Kid is rocking the walking, we were a little apprehensive about how he would react once we got to the location. We have never had a real Laternenfest and I was hoping this one would finally be the one! When he was about 20 months old, we attended our first one at the old kindergarten. Of course he was the one kid who got a faulty tealight and he lost it. I had to take him out of the classroom while he melted down. We ended up missing the event and headed home. I was sad. The second year I took off the afternoon from work and ran as fast as I could to make it in time. I arrived in the auditorium and apparently I had just missed it but I was still expected to stay and wrap gifts for orphans. I wouldn't usually mind but a) I lost a lung trying to get there and expected to see my son to sing a song and b) what is wrong with you? You have a room full of toys and toddlers and the toddlers can't play with the toys? Yeah, we are going home, Kiddo. The next year was at the new kindergarten and since he only was allowed to stay until noon (they pushed it back to 1, how lucky we are!), we decided it wouldn't make sense to go back in the evening and we did the same thing last year. But this year we were determined to make it happen! We set out at 4:10 with trepidation but in the end, HE TOTALLY ROCKED IT! We met his school group at the Belvedere and waited around for latecomers. I was half expecting the Kid to have a meltdown because patience is not his thing. But, no, he was absolutely quiet and happy as a clam. We finally started walking and I took pictures of him and of the palace and it was absolutely BEAUTIFUL and "normal" and I started to cry. It was an amazing experience and I could not be prouder of my child. A year ago this would have been impossible and I need to keep reminding myself how far he has come. Atta boy! Mama is proud of you!
The next day I talked to a friend at work and described how incredible the evening was before and how I cried and my only complaint was that "None of the other parents talked to us." and my friend said "Well, because you were probably crying like a moron." Touche. This is British friendship. When they hurl incredibly creative insults, it is their way of saying "I loves you THIIIIS MUCH!" Just the other day we were talking about nicknames and one friend said "Well, you could be called Toto." and I shrugged and said "Works for me. What should your nickname be?" and I listed a couple of names and she shook her head so I helpfully suggested "Cuntface?" and without missing a beat she responded with "Shut up, pissflaps." Hanging out mostly with Brits at work is obviously taking its toll.
Last night I hosted a parent evening for Autism in Vienna at the Beaver Brewing Company. 5 people were supposed to come and in the end only one mother came (it happens, I'm used to it, kind of). She was lovely and we talked for a long time...in German. While I understand German and can speak it badly, it is tough to spend a few hours conversing. I did it in the end and I was proud of myself. Yay me! I was also invited to a late party that was for people in the publishing industry: publishers, writers, TV people. I am none of those but boy, do I bring my A game when I am at such parties. Thank God there were a couple of friends I could talk to at the beginning before I really turned into a verbal grenade.
I don't know what happens, but every time I am surrounded by very important and/or smart people, I drop several digits in IQ. I go from "Well, that is a fascinating theory on the Security Council's latest amendment but shouldn't we be focusing our resources on the delimitation of outer space in regards to debris?" to "Bahahaha..cough..hahaha. Sorry, I choked on some spit. Hey! Cheese! I love cheese!" Without fail, I will somehow say something completely idiotic. At one point I was telling a very important person in the publishing industry about my time in Moscow. "Oh, it was so much fun! And I was hot and thin back then so like people were nice to me!" and he choked on his drink. At another point, someone (also apparently important) told me he was from a small town in Austria and I was like "THE PLACE THAT MAKES CHEESE?!?! I love that cheese. I mean, I love all cheeses, except maybe blue cheese. It kind of skeeves me out. Maybe if it is melted into a sauce I can handle it but yeah..." SHUT UP, TOVA! SHUT UP! I wrote on Facebook how I was surrounded by intellectuals and all I was doing was talking about cheese. About 20 minutes later I showed the guy I had talked about cheese with my status and he said "But you are an intellectual!" and I think he was just trying to be kind and instead of nodding my head and saying "Yes, quite.", I ripped out a newly purchased romance bodice ripping novel out my purse with the title screaming "Silver Tongued Devil" and he looked at it for a minute and then walked away. Yeeees. I WAS ON FIRE!
It was a fun night and I met some really nice people... I just don't know why I can't sometimes just think before blurting out everything that comes into my head. The other day I was reading with Office Twin and I suddenly said "Wait, stop, I think I have some conditioner still in my ear..." to which he responded with "Wow, the men must be beating down your door." Yes. I am a goddess. So now it is Saturday morning and in about half an hour I am meeting some friends at Mariahilferstrasse to go to a sex shop. We received a group gift certificate from friends and we are going to check it out. I imagine there will be a lot of laughing. In other news, I also just received confirmation that the Beacon Beach House is now officially a Verein! We are in business BABY! Yes. It is all a little surreal but I imagine in a few days I will wake up in a cold sweat because OMG! I better go and get dressed for my shopping excursion, now. I wish you all a cozy November day. I hope you are wrapped up and watching shows like the A-Team or Knightrider because that is my plan for the afternoon. Toodles!
As I wrote in an earlier post, this year the kindergarten was hosting it at a palace. The Belvedere palace is about a 25 minute walk from our place and even though the Kid is rocking the walking, we were a little apprehensive about how he would react once we got to the location. We have never had a real Laternenfest and I was hoping this one would finally be the one! When he was about 20 months old, we attended our first one at the old kindergarten. Of course he was the one kid who got a faulty tealight and he lost it. I had to take him out of the classroom while he melted down. We ended up missing the event and headed home. I was sad. The second year I took off the afternoon from work and ran as fast as I could to make it in time. I arrived in the auditorium and apparently I had just missed it but I was still expected to stay and wrap gifts for orphans. I wouldn't usually mind but a) I lost a lung trying to get there and expected to see my son to sing a song and b) what is wrong with you? You have a room full of toys and toddlers and the toddlers can't play with the toys? Yeah, we are going home, Kiddo. The next year was at the new kindergarten and since he only was allowed to stay until noon (they pushed it back to 1, how lucky we are!), we decided it wouldn't make sense to go back in the evening and we did the same thing last year. But this year we were determined to make it happen! We set out at 4:10 with trepidation but in the end, HE TOTALLY ROCKED IT! We met his school group at the Belvedere and waited around for latecomers. I was half expecting the Kid to have a meltdown because patience is not his thing. But, no, he was absolutely quiet and happy as a clam. We finally started walking and I took pictures of him and of the palace and it was absolutely BEAUTIFUL and "normal" and I started to cry. It was an amazing experience and I could not be prouder of my child. A year ago this would have been impossible and I need to keep reminding myself how far he has come. Atta boy! Mama is proud of you!
The next day I talked to a friend at work and described how incredible the evening was before and how I cried and my only complaint was that "None of the other parents talked to us." and my friend said "Well, because you were probably crying like a moron." Touche. This is British friendship. When they hurl incredibly creative insults, it is their way of saying "I loves you THIIIIS MUCH!" Just the other day we were talking about nicknames and one friend said "Well, you could be called Toto." and I shrugged and said "Works for me. What should your nickname be?" and I listed a couple of names and she shook her head so I helpfully suggested "Cuntface?" and without missing a beat she responded with "Shut up, pissflaps." Hanging out mostly with Brits at work is obviously taking its toll.
I don't know what happens, but every time I am surrounded by very important and/or smart people, I drop several digits in IQ. I go from "Well, that is a fascinating theory on the Security Council's latest amendment but shouldn't we be focusing our resources on the delimitation of outer space in regards to debris?" to "Bahahaha..cough..hahaha. Sorry, I choked on some spit. Hey! Cheese! I love cheese!" Without fail, I will somehow say something completely idiotic. At one point I was telling a very important person in the publishing industry about my time in Moscow. "Oh, it was so much fun! And I was hot and thin back then so like people were nice to me!" and he choked on his drink. At another point, someone (also apparently important) told me he was from a small town in Austria and I was like "THE PLACE THAT MAKES CHEESE?!?! I love that cheese. I mean, I love all cheeses, except maybe blue cheese. It kind of skeeves me out. Maybe if it is melted into a sauce I can handle it but yeah..." SHUT UP, TOVA! SHUT UP! I wrote on Facebook how I was surrounded by intellectuals and all I was doing was talking about cheese. About 20 minutes later I showed the guy I had talked about cheese with my status and he said "But you are an intellectual!" and I think he was just trying to be kind and instead of nodding my head and saying "Yes, quite.", I ripped out a newly purchased romance bodice ripping novel out my purse with the title screaming "Silver Tongued Devil" and he looked at it for a minute and then walked away. Yeeees. I WAS ON FIRE!
It was a fun night and I met some really nice people... I just don't know why I can't sometimes just think before blurting out everything that comes into my head. The other day I was reading with Office Twin and I suddenly said "Wait, stop, I think I have some conditioner still in my ear..." to which he responded with "Wow, the men must be beating down your door." Yes. I am a goddess. So now it is Saturday morning and in about half an hour I am meeting some friends at Mariahilferstrasse to go to a sex shop. We received a group gift certificate from friends and we are going to check it out. I imagine there will be a lot of laughing. In other news, I also just received confirmation that the Beacon Beach House is now officially a Verein! We are in business BABY! Yes. It is all a little surreal but I imagine in a few days I will wake up in a cold sweat because OMG! I better go and get dressed for my shopping excursion, now. I wish you all a cozy November day. I hope you are wrapped up and watching shows like the A-Team or Knightrider because that is my plan for the afternoon. Toodles!
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