What Have I Done? And What Did I Do!
Oh boy. I am stressed. But also a little excited. Mostly stressed. And a little sick to my stomach. Since I don't have enough going on (obvious sarcasm), I decided to go ahead and organize a movie afternoon for Autism in Vienna. For the past couple of years I have dreamed of taking the Kid to the movies. Yes, realistically I know he would probably only last for about 5 minutes, but what really has held me back is the fact that we would probably have to deal with death stares and people yelling at him to shut it. While I could not care less what people think when we are in public, I do not want to ruin everybody else's grand ole time by me breaking down in tears and screaming a la Jada Pinkett Smith in Scream 2.
So, after hearing about movie theaters in the States and Canada offering special sensory friendly afternoons primarily for families dealing with autism, I decided to put together an afternoon for the community here. For the past 24 hours I have been e-mailing a very nice man at the Film Casino. I told him I needed the theater to have the lights on higher and the sound turned down lower. And I just found out how much it is going to cost. Well, shit. It's going to be expensive. So expensive that I will be giving up all Christmas gifts for myself this year; and I love presents. I decided that we (we? I!!!) will charge 5 euros a person because I want to make it affordable for everybody. According to my calculations, we need approximately half of Vienna to attend to break even. Fantastico! Ugh. Why am I doing this? Because if you don't take a leap of faith, you won't get anywhere. And I also am trying to make autism-inclusion a thing here... like "fetch". (Mean Girls reference). I will probably also be asking for extra donations at the door in hopes of covering our costs. But I am going to have to leave it up to fate to make this a roaring success... and threaten my friends who have kids to come. Heh. Guilt.
Tonight the Husband is out. When I got home, after a quick drink with a friend, the Nanny told me that the Kid had taken a nap earlier. All visions of a quiet night at home, watching Beetlejuice, flew out the window. Perhaps due to some red wine and a little filled with piss and vinegar (also talking about the wine) I decided that I would take a walk with the Kid without his stroller. Twice before have we actually attempted this; a long walk without his stroller. The first time was with the Husband and I held the Kid's hand in a death grip. He was a super star! The second time I brought an innocent victim along. She is German and seems fit so I figured she could chase him down if need be. Again, the Kid was amazing. We often talk about our children with autism reaching milestones and going above and beyond... but we rarely talk about parents doing the same. No, I'm not talking about how awesome I am....and, really, I am (I am confident with who I am, just not with how I look (I am working on that). I am talking about parents reaching their own milestones. It is so easy for me to become Mama Bear (I have furry knees) and to try and protect the Kid from everything in the world.. but I also know that sometimes I have to let him grow. Not only is he going outside of his comfort zone, so am I. And it is terrifying. Tonight as we walked around the neighbourhood, his eyes lit up, he matched my pace and he giggled. It filled me with such pride. Tonight was his night but also mine. Stage mom? Perhaps.
I think today pretty much sums up my life right now: immense fear coupled with immense pride. Now it is time to shoot a blow dart into him and hope he falls asleep soon. I wish you all a fantastic Tuesday night and a happy Austrian National Day tomorrow! Good night!
So, after hearing about movie theaters in the States and Canada offering special sensory friendly afternoons primarily for families dealing with autism, I decided to put together an afternoon for the community here. For the past 24 hours I have been e-mailing a very nice man at the Film Casino. I told him I needed the theater to have the lights on higher and the sound turned down lower. And I just found out how much it is going to cost. Well, shit. It's going to be expensive. So expensive that I will be giving up all Christmas gifts for myself this year; and I love presents. I decided that we (we? I!!!) will charge 5 euros a person because I want to make it affordable for everybody. According to my calculations, we need approximately half of Vienna to attend to break even. Fantastico! Ugh. Why am I doing this? Because if you don't take a leap of faith, you won't get anywhere. And I also am trying to make autism-inclusion a thing here... like "fetch". (Mean Girls reference). I will probably also be asking for extra donations at the door in hopes of covering our costs. But I am going to have to leave it up to fate to make this a roaring success... and threaten my friends who have kids to come. Heh. Guilt.
Tonight the Husband is out. When I got home, after a quick drink with a friend, the Nanny told me that the Kid had taken a nap earlier. All visions of a quiet night at home, watching Beetlejuice, flew out the window. Perhaps due to some red wine and a little filled with piss and vinegar (also talking about the wine) I decided that I would take a walk with the Kid without his stroller. Twice before have we actually attempted this; a long walk without his stroller. The first time was with the Husband and I held the Kid's hand in a death grip. He was a super star! The second time I brought an innocent victim along. She is German and seems fit so I figured she could chase him down if need be. Again, the Kid was amazing. We often talk about our children with autism reaching milestones and going above and beyond... but we rarely talk about parents doing the same. No, I'm not talking about how awesome I am....and, really, I am (I am confident with who I am, just not with how I look (I am working on that). I am talking about parents reaching their own milestones. It is so easy for me to become Mama Bear (I have furry knees) and to try and protect the Kid from everything in the world.. but I also know that sometimes I have to let him grow. Not only is he going outside of his comfort zone, so am I. And it is terrifying. Tonight as we walked around the neighbourhood, his eyes lit up, he matched my pace and he giggled. It filled me with such pride. Tonight was his night but also mine. Stage mom? Perhaps.
I think today pretty much sums up my life right now: immense fear coupled with immense pride. Now it is time to shoot a blow dart into him and hope he falls asleep soon. I wish you all a fantastic Tuesday night and a happy Austrian National Day tomorrow! Good night!
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