A Spy Among Us and the End of Week 1 Bootcamp
I had to do a heart breaking thing this morning: write an e-mail to a school we had applied to about 4 years ago. I remember registering for the school with such excitement, imagining the Kid's first day of school, confident he would be a bright and engaged student. It was a school I had dreamed about sending him to. And every morning I walk by it on my way to work. But life throws you curve balls. It's not the school itself, it's the symbolism of it all... to know that he will most likely never have a normal life and that is what cuts me right in the heart. I know people ask what is "normal" and by that I mean, if something were to happen and when it does, to the Husband and I when he is older, he would probably end up in a home. Those are the concrete worries of a parent with a child with special needs. I love the Kid more than anything in this world and I wouldn't change him. Autism has turned my life upside down but in a way, has made me so much more grateful for all that I have. I have grown as a person and have found a passion that I never really knew I was missing. I could easily let these moments ruin my day (I cried on the Ubahn and briefly in a friend's office. Gross) but I have to be stronger than that. And sometimes all I need is a little perspective. I received an e-mail from a parent last night that was so awful and filled with pain and I reminded myself today that I am fortunate and I am lucky and I just need to keep going for the sake of the Kid.
Speaking of autism, tonight is the Therapy Networking Night. It's a great chance for therapists and specialists to get together and build a community. The concept is that with a strong base, we can support parents in the future. I received some interesting news yesterday from a source and let's just say, I have ruffled some feathers in the community and there is a spy in my midst. This actually makes me laugh because a) why is more support a threat and b) why am I a threat? This isn't business, these aren't State secrets... why am I being spied on? And, dear community, if you are pleased with the work you are doing and the support you are providing, then why am I problematic?
I am being rhetorical. And I totally spelled that right on the very first try! Go me! Now I feel like I need to purchase a trench coat and walk into a bar and talk in a French accent. It's like a John Le Carre novel but without a really good plot. The mind boggles. Vienna, don't you ever change. Actually, yes, when it comes to autism, please change! Besides being spied on, crying a little and being told I look like John Snow (Office Twin is dead to me), I am almost done my first week of bootcamp. Every day I have been working out: either running a 5k or doing a 90 minute hot yoga class. I attended a class this morning at 7 a.m. and I was tiiiiirred. I was the first one there at the Yoga Loft and when the teacher (who is also one of the owners) opened the door she said "You are motivated!" and I said the one thing all yoga teachers always want to hear (sarcasm) "I got fat...er" I rolled out my mat and got ready for the session and noticed there weren't that many people coming through the front door which meant I could not hide. Oh no, I was very visible and I ended up getting my butt kicked. And, besides being a whiny brat sometimes, it was what I needed. I was able to correct a position that I have been doing wrong for a while and at one point, as I attempted to grab one leg while seated the instructor said "That's your position!" and I thought "No, this is how I will die." But it was a fantastic session! I ran home and showered and packed my make up because I didn't have time to spackle my face and headed to work... where I was told I looked like John Snow and that is why I am now looking like a fabulous drag queen.
Tonight when I get home I have to laminate flash cards for the Kid's big therapy session tomorrow. It will be a two hour session that I have to unfortunately miss but I know it will be excellent! I am looking forward to a weekend of watching TV and working out and of course hiding from the evil forces. Happy Thursday!
Speaking of autism, tonight is the Therapy Networking Night. It's a great chance for therapists and specialists to get together and build a community. The concept is that with a strong base, we can support parents in the future. I received some interesting news yesterday from a source and let's just say, I have ruffled some feathers in the community and there is a spy in my midst. This actually makes me laugh because a) why is more support a threat and b) why am I a threat? This isn't business, these aren't State secrets... why am I being spied on? And, dear community, if you are pleased with the work you are doing and the support you are providing, then why am I problematic?
I am being rhetorical. And I totally spelled that right on the very first try! Go me! Now I feel like I need to purchase a trench coat and walk into a bar and talk in a French accent. It's like a John Le Carre novel but without a really good plot. The mind boggles. Vienna, don't you ever change. Actually, yes, when it comes to autism, please change! Besides being spied on, crying a little and being told I look like John Snow (Office Twin is dead to me), I am almost done my first week of bootcamp. Every day I have been working out: either running a 5k or doing a 90 minute hot yoga class. I attended a class this morning at 7 a.m. and I was tiiiiirred. I was the first one there at the Yoga Loft and when the teacher (who is also one of the owners) opened the door she said "You are motivated!" and I said the one thing all yoga teachers always want to hear (sarcasm) "I got fat...er" I rolled out my mat and got ready for the session and noticed there weren't that many people coming through the front door which meant I could not hide. Oh no, I was very visible and I ended up getting my butt kicked. And, besides being a whiny brat sometimes, it was what I needed. I was able to correct a position that I have been doing wrong for a while and at one point, as I attempted to grab one leg while seated the instructor said "That's your position!" and I thought "No, this is how I will die." But it was a fantastic session! I ran home and showered and packed my make up because I didn't have time to spackle my face and headed to work... where I was told I looked like John Snow and that is why I am now looking like a fabulous drag queen.
Tonight when I get home I have to laminate flash cards for the Kid's big therapy session tomorrow. It will be a two hour session that I have to unfortunately miss but I know it will be excellent! I am looking forward to a weekend of watching TV and working out and of course hiding from the evil forces. Happy Thursday!
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