A Nice Lunch, a Horrific Afternoon and a Great Night

Hello Sunday! Today was the Vienna City Marathon and I put on my sweat pants and sat on the sofa and watched it. A lot of my friends participated and I am incredibly inspired by them. So much so, I am actually considering taking a run this evening... maybe when it is darker so I can hide my shame. I am not doing the Frauenlauf this year but I think I will aim for the Night Run in September. I figure that gives me enough time to be back at my 5 K best. The good news is that my back is feeling a little better. I did yoga Friday and Saturday and that helped a lot. I told a friend that I was worried that I injured myself because of yoga and she was like "People turn to yoga to help injuries! How did you hurt yourself doing yoga?!?!" and I responded with "That's how I roll." I am not sure what caused the back pain but I am definitely relieved that I don't have to go to the doctor. Unless my doctor looked like this.

Office Twin hurt his back a while back and my friend S.R. hurt her neck and when we went for coffee the other day, S.R. and I asked Office Twin to ask his physiotherapist the following questions so that we wouldn't have to see one. The questions were: "Can a neck fall off?" "What does lower back pain with sciatica tinges mean?" and "Can one replace necks?" and "My period pain seems to have worsened."  I don't think he will ask but it was worth a try.

Today has been a bit of a lazy day. I got home very very very late last night and luckily I was able to carb load and then take a nap earlier today. I went a little nutso on the wine last night because I had had an AWFUL afternoon... which I will get to in a minute. Saturday morning was chill. I did some yoga at home and then got ready to go for lunch. A couple of friends were in town who I hadn't seen in years. We met at Pure Living Bakery (totally love this place) and I ordered a falafel bagel and a glass of rose. We chatted and caught up and then I headed home. The Husband went to the gym and I decided to take the Kid on our normal neighbourhood walk. He was a little whiny but I figured the fresh air would do him good. I figured wrong. I walked down the street and made a left. The Kid absolutely LOST IT! He was in his stroller and put his feet down and pushed back. I brought him to the bus station, hoping that would calm him down but it just made him angrier. He screamed and pushed me and pulled on my shirt and was in full freak mode. When he gets to this point, the only way to really calm him down is to wait. People at the bus stop kept staring at me as he screamed bloody murder and one woman kept moving closer to watch. I moved to the other side of the bus stop and she followed and just stared. I turned to her and said in English "Enjoying the show?!?!" and then the Kid threw up a little. The bus arrived and I decided to (stupidly) get on with him with the hope that he would calm down. He did and I made the decision (stupidly) to get off at the next stop.

He lost it again and screamed and arched his back and I pulled the stroller on its back two wheels and ran down the street to a side road so fewer people could have a free show. We got up the road back home only 10 meters with him screaming and doing an alligator death roll in his stroller.

And then he threw up again and this time on me. Then the screaming stopped and he started to cry. He reached out to me and put my arms around him and wanted to be held and hugged. It broke my heart. And my coat needs to be dry cleaned. For 30 minutes I hugged him and when I tried to pull away, he would cry harder. I kept trying to call the Husband at the gym but he didn't pick up. Finally the Kid was calm enough to make it back home and once inside, he promptly passed out on the sofa. The Husband called me shortly there after and was like "So, I have 16 missed call from you..." Heh. But yes, it was an absolutely terrible hour and it shook me. He has been so so good and this type of public freak out hasn't happened in a very long time. Usually freak outs are the precursor for a development leap so I have to think of this as a good thing. Today he has been absolutely lovely and has spent the past hour in his room playing which never happens and has me now reaching for the thermometer.

I wrote on Facebook: Raphael just had an epic freak out at the bus stop and threw up allover me and himself. Pretty sure condom Sales just rose sharply in the 4th district.  And received awesome comments and support. My online friends are awesome and I appreciate all the virtual hugs! One friend wrote that she appreciated how I didn't hide anything and I thought that was an interesting comment. I think it would be an incredible disservice to not talk about what we go through in regards to autism. By sharing our story, I hope that others out there can relate and/or feel better about their situation. We are constantly bombarded by images on the Internet of people having the "perfect" Pinterest life and I think this can heighten our sense of inadequacy. I love seeing my friends having an awesome time and I love that I can be in touch with friends and family around the world. But I can also see how draining it could be to spend a lot of time comparing. A long time ago I decided I wouldn't be jealous (and yes, it's a decision to be jealous as odd as that sounds). It took a while but I did it. Sure, when I see good things happen to bad people, I get a little testy, but otherwise, I wish the best for everybody because I like to think that they would want the same for me. Life is a struggle no matter what your situation is and I have learned over the years that what you see is not always what you get.

For the most part, my life is pretty darn good. I have great friends, a husband who is slightly scared of me but loves me to the moon and back, live in an incredible city and I love our apartment. I always have something to write about and I am about to embark on a life changing journey with the Beacon Beach House. I wouldn't change my son for the world but I want him to get as much support as possible because I do not want to go through that scene from yesterday again. I can't afford constant dry cleaning. I guess to sum up, I will always be honest about my life (some things I don't share because it's my blog and I am allowed to censor myself. And I am pretty sure the Husband would like me to censor myself a little bit more), because that's just who I am. I don't think people need to share their hardships if they don't want to... I just feel it is cathartic for me and just how I roll.

So anyway, after the Kid's epic freak out, I got changed, put on my face spackle and headed out. I was supposed to meet someone to discuss autism but plans changed so I decided to treat myself to a glass of wine at Cafe Hawelka. It was PACKED so I headed to Kleinod which was also PACKED and I was like "If I don't a glass of wine soon, I'm going to LOSE IT!" Luckily Kleines Cafe had a free table. I pulled out my Kindle and ordered a spritzer. At one point a man sat beside me and asked in English "Do I have to go to the bar to order?" and I replied "Nope, she will come by." and then returned to my book. I later realized I was a little rude and should have probably been a little nicer but whatevs, my time alone, I will enjoy it. At 8, I paid and headed around the corner to one of my favourite little restaurants La Cantineta La Norma. I've mentioned it before and I just always feel comfortable there. I met my friend and we talked and laughed and I ordered prosecco and a margherita pizza. We briefly discussed the upcoming House of Canada event: Plaid and Poutine Party. We have been trying to do this for over half a year and now it is really happening and I cannot wait! If you are in Vienna April 28th, come on by the Beaver Brewing Company for some poutine and a whole lotta of Canadiana... Woot!

After dinner, I jumped into a cab and headed to the 5th district to La Vita est Bella. I have passed this place so often and never realized it is a fantastic wine bar. I was meeting some friends for a mini reunion and as I walked in, I noticed another couple of friends at another table. This city, it's a village. I ordered wine and there was a lot of laughter. At one point, towards the end of the night, I got a little emotional talking about the Kid. I don't cry much these days which I know probably is a mistake. I think I have this fear that if I start crying, I won't be able to stop. But I keep trucking and I know things will get better. Oh, and earlier in this post, I was talking about the Kid being awesome today and stuff and now he is a grump again so I better keep an eye on him to avoid another freak out. Never boring in this house! I better run! I wish you all a fantastic Sunday! Tomorrow I have a meeting after work at an organization that helps find work for people with autism. I am really excited about this and cannot wait for this visit! Stay tuned. Happy Sunday!

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