Viennisms
Yesterday I was writing about my incredibly indulgent Saturday evening and I wrote the term Viennisms and thought "Hmm. That would make for a good blog post." then I took the Kid for an awesome walk around the hood, ordered pizza, put on a onesie, gave the Kid a bath and then put him in a onesie too because twinsies!
I then spent some time thinking about Viennisms which according to me, means typical Vienna things and/or traditions. Sure, the younger generation probably would disagree with a lot of these but these are my observations so therefore completely right. Heh. So, los gehts!
Küss die Hand: even if you haven't lived here, you have seen the whole click the heels and "kiss" the lady's hand. Yeah, I have even seen it here happen in real life, right beside me, a lot. But has anyone EVER done it to me? NO! And I am kind of heartbroken about that. It better happen one day and when it does, I will probably laugh out loud...
Taxi Tänzer: I learned about this on Saturday afternoon and I was tickled pink to learn something new. Apparently, this is an old old tradition. You are going to a ball and don't have a date? Well never fear, you can rent a ball date. The Taxi Tänzer can do all the modern dances like the Waltz, the fox trot and probably the jive, maybe the Macarena. You pay for their tickets, their drinks and their time and you will have a date to swing you around the dance floor all night long. Apparently they aren't cheap and start at about 40 euros an hour. I did some research and this is really a thing and the websites have pictures of the escorts. And I mean ball escorts. The websites talk about how they all have impeccable manners, are charming and fantastic dancers. So pretty much, high class escorts without, and how do I put this eloquently, um, the happy ending. I had no idea that Taxi Tänzers were a thing! And, to add to my surprise, I was told that some balls rent these guys for the night to dance with lonely women. So now I know next time that I am at a ball and some man asks me to dance; he's been paid. Bet none of them look like Richard Gere, though. That probably costs extra.
Coffee house etiquette: I have probably talked about this before. Going to a Vienna coffeehouse is one of my favourite things to do when I have a few hours to kill. There are many many coffeehouses that range from incredibly gilded and over the top to maybe put a napkin down on the seat before sitting down. The one thing they will all have in common is that their coffee will be amazing. The Viennese take a real pride in their coffee and even the dodgiest, hole in the wall place will often serve your melange on a silver tray with a glass of water. I love this. Also, never ever ever will you be asked to leave a coffeehouse even when you have finished your coffee. Coffeehouse waiters are paid an hourly wage that is above minimum wage and tipping is quite low, so what do they care if you take up the seat for hours. I remember when I first moved here and hung out at Cafe Schwarzenberg for a couple of hours and I felt so guilty about sitting there so long that I ended up ordering about 4 melange and almost ended up giving myself a heart attack. Won't make that mistake again.
Titles: This is hilarious for the newcomer. You walk by medical offices and you will see Dr. Dr. Ing. Prof. and wonder if somebody forgot how to spell. Business cards turn into walls of text that you have to read for a minute until you get to their actual name. This isn't to dismiss the years and years of studying but just a mere observation. Apparently (because I can't be assed to actually confirm this) Emperor Franz Joseph was the starter of all the titles. They couldn't afford to pay their bureaucrats hefty sums so they gave them titles instead. Perhaps he was a pioneer in corporate psychology; cool title? More job satisfaction. I guess that's true because I totally have written on Facebook; CEO of Operation Tubetop. Heh.
Wandern: This isn't just a Viennese thing. This is an Austrian thing. Never ever ever say yes to "wandern" when an Austrian friend asks you to join unless you are prepared to Sylvester Stallone it like Cliffhanger. An Austrian can spend the evening before, knocking back liters of beer and shots of schnaps and you will have joined them for this activity because drinking and at some point in the night they will be all like "So, you want to go wandern tomorrow morning? I know a great easy route!" and because you have the start of alcohol poisoning and know not what you do, will say "Yes! Capital idea!" The next morning you will show up, looking to' up from the flo' up and yet your Austrian friend will look like a fresh faced Mormon and off you go and then 4 hours later you somehow are on the side of a mountain, throwing up in exhaustion while your Austrian friend is motherloving yodelling and dancing a jig. Fool me 5 times. Ugh. Mountain goat people.
Spritzers: This is my go-to drink in Vienna. It is a white wine spritzer and it is the perfect drink for a long night of drinking. If you really want to take it easy, order the Sommer spritzer which holds even less wine and more soda water. A spritzer is not considered a wuss drink. It is almost considered a sports drink. Never have I been to a place that has not had a spritzer on the menu. And it is completely acceptable for men to drink them too. Spritzers for the win!
There are so many more Viennisms and I am sure I have written about them before but I just needed to add content because I just really really wanted to write about the Taxi Tänzer. AMAZING! I wish you all a fantastic day. This morning I will be dropping the Kid off at kindergarten, then I will spend the morning watching Murder She Wrote. At 12 I am stopping by the House of Canada, at 1 I have a lunch date at Miznon, at 3 I have my super important business meeting about the possibility of an Autism center and at 5 I am meeting friends for some punsch. I swear, I will take it easy in a couple of days. But for now, I's got things to do and people to see. Happy Monday!
I then spent some time thinking about Viennisms which according to me, means typical Vienna things and/or traditions. Sure, the younger generation probably would disagree with a lot of these but these are my observations so therefore completely right. Heh. So, los gehts!
Küss die Hand: even if you haven't lived here, you have seen the whole click the heels and "kiss" the lady's hand. Yeah, I have even seen it here happen in real life, right beside me, a lot. But has anyone EVER done it to me? NO! And I am kind of heartbroken about that. It better happen one day and when it does, I will probably laugh out loud...
Taxi Tänzer: I learned about this on Saturday afternoon and I was tickled pink to learn something new. Apparently, this is an old old tradition. You are going to a ball and don't have a date? Well never fear, you can rent a ball date. The Taxi Tänzer can do all the modern dances like the Waltz, the fox trot and probably the jive, maybe the Macarena. You pay for their tickets, their drinks and their time and you will have a date to swing you around the dance floor all night long. Apparently they aren't cheap and start at about 40 euros an hour. I did some research and this is really a thing and the websites have pictures of the escorts. And I mean ball escorts. The websites talk about how they all have impeccable manners, are charming and fantastic dancers. So pretty much, high class escorts without, and how do I put this eloquently, um, the happy ending. I had no idea that Taxi Tänzers were a thing! And, to add to my surprise, I was told that some balls rent these guys for the night to dance with lonely women. So now I know next time that I am at a ball and some man asks me to dance; he's been paid. Bet none of them look like Richard Gere, though. That probably costs extra.
Coffee house etiquette: I have probably talked about this before. Going to a Vienna coffeehouse is one of my favourite things to do when I have a few hours to kill. There are many many coffeehouses that range from incredibly gilded and over the top to maybe put a napkin down on the seat before sitting down. The one thing they will all have in common is that their coffee will be amazing. The Viennese take a real pride in their coffee and even the dodgiest, hole in the wall place will often serve your melange on a silver tray with a glass of water. I love this. Also, never ever ever will you be asked to leave a coffeehouse even when you have finished your coffee. Coffeehouse waiters are paid an hourly wage that is above minimum wage and tipping is quite low, so what do they care if you take up the seat for hours. I remember when I first moved here and hung out at Cafe Schwarzenberg for a couple of hours and I felt so guilty about sitting there so long that I ended up ordering about 4 melange and almost ended up giving myself a heart attack. Won't make that mistake again.
Titles: This is hilarious for the newcomer. You walk by medical offices and you will see Dr. Dr. Ing. Prof. and wonder if somebody forgot how to spell. Business cards turn into walls of text that you have to read for a minute until you get to their actual name. This isn't to dismiss the years and years of studying but just a mere observation. Apparently (because I can't be assed to actually confirm this) Emperor Franz Joseph was the starter of all the titles. They couldn't afford to pay their bureaucrats hefty sums so they gave them titles instead. Perhaps he was a pioneer in corporate psychology; cool title? More job satisfaction. I guess that's true because I totally have written on Facebook; CEO of Operation Tubetop. Heh.
Wandern: This isn't just a Viennese thing. This is an Austrian thing. Never ever ever say yes to "wandern" when an Austrian friend asks you to join unless you are prepared to Sylvester Stallone it like Cliffhanger. An Austrian can spend the evening before, knocking back liters of beer and shots of schnaps and you will have joined them for this activity because drinking and at some point in the night they will be all like "So, you want to go wandern tomorrow morning? I know a great easy route!" and because you have the start of alcohol poisoning and know not what you do, will say "Yes! Capital idea!" The next morning you will show up, looking to' up from the flo' up and yet your Austrian friend will look like a fresh faced Mormon and off you go and then 4 hours later you somehow are on the side of a mountain, throwing up in exhaustion while your Austrian friend is motherloving yodelling and dancing a jig. Fool me 5 times. Ugh. Mountain goat people.
Spritzers: This is my go-to drink in Vienna. It is a white wine spritzer and it is the perfect drink for a long night of drinking. If you really want to take it easy, order the Sommer spritzer which holds even less wine and more soda water. A spritzer is not considered a wuss drink. It is almost considered a sports drink. Never have I been to a place that has not had a spritzer on the menu. And it is completely acceptable for men to drink them too. Spritzers for the win!
There are so many more Viennisms and I am sure I have written about them before but I just needed to add content because I just really really wanted to write about the Taxi Tänzer. AMAZING! I wish you all a fantastic day. This morning I will be dropping the Kid off at kindergarten, then I will spend the morning watching Murder She Wrote. At 12 I am stopping by the House of Canada, at 1 I have a lunch date at Miznon, at 3 I have my super important business meeting about the possibility of an Autism center and at 5 I am meeting friends for some punsch. I swear, I will take it easy in a couple of days. But for now, I's got things to do and people to see. Happy Monday!
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