Dis and Dat and Girl Power
Happy last night of Hanukkah! Listening to the Hanukkah song by the Barenaked Ladies and feeling full after an awesome dinner of Chinese food. I wore pyjamas and spilled soy sauce down my top. Total tradition. I am absolutely exhausted. Last night I hosted some ladies for a great champagne Christmas party and I decided to act like I had the same tolerance that I had in Moscow. I don't. Oh dear God, I don't. The Kid is mercifully in bed and that in itself is my Hanukkah miracle tonight. I also get a little melancholy and a little nostalgic on the last night of Hanukkah - it's kind of my pre-New Year's year end review. I like to think about what was happening a year ago, how much has changed, where I am in my life, if I could have done more. It's a nice few minutes of either judging myself or patting myself on the back. Tonight I have done both. But enough about self-awareness, let's talk about other things!
The other night, I stopped at Billa for some groceries. The next day was a holiday (not for me) and it was packed. Every time there is a holiday the next day, Austrians stock up. It suddenly turns into an episode about Doomsday preppers as carts are filled to the brim. Now, I understand getting the basics like wine and cheese, but why on Earth does someone need 15 bottles of Cillit Bang. The shops will be open on Wednesday, calm yourself. This reminds me of the time I was at Merkur a couple of years ago and the guy in front of me was buying every type of cleaning supply in multiples. Being the rational girl that I am, I went on Facebook and described what this man was buying and concluded he had obviously killed his wife and needed to hide the evidence. Someone finally pointed out to me that cleaning supplies were 15% off that day. So I left the line and bought my own multiples of Oxy Clean. So on Monday I was at Billa and there were two lines with at least 12 people in them. I was close to the till and on the other side a guy was just about to pay. He passed over his store card and the woman said something about a discount. He didn't understand and responded in English. "Um, what? I'm sorry, I don't understand." Then the woman continued in German and you could see him look around in a panic. I was about to intervene when the woman in front of me helped to translate. He shrugged and thanked his interpreter and said he wanted to the discount and the woman at the till then said "I have to re-scan all of your items." and she started to take all of his items out of his basket and you could see the panic bubble up again. His interpreter on the other side said "If you want the discount, she has to re-scan all of your items." and then the grumbling behind the poor guy started. He turned to the line up of people behind him and apologized profusely. I felt bad for him... but probably because he wasn't in front of me.
On Thursday, the Husband got a call from the kindergarten. Turns out he was having a bit of a meltdown. For the past week and a half, he has been staying until 1 p.m. which means he is there for lunchtime. This time they tried to get him to eat noodles before having a pudding and he was having none.of.that. He cried and cried and tried to hug the lady. I guess that was his way of begging for the pudding. At one point he apparently took her face in his hands and stared her straight in the eyes. I think he probably was trying to convey "Look, lady. You give me the pudding and we can forget all of this drama. Look, I'm even giving you eye contact which all you adults seem so damn focused on getting me to do. NOW GIVE ME THE GODDAMN PUDDING!" She is stronger than me and did not give in. She also is braver than I am. At 1, The Nanny picked him up and I heard that he then found the nearest park bench, grabbed his box of cookies and ate ALL OF THEM in a few minutes. I kind of have to admire his stubbornness. The woman at the daycare suggested that after Christmas, we try and get him to eat different foods. I'll keep her in my thoughts.
On Saturday morning, I decided to brave Mariahilferstrasse. This is the main shopping street in Vienna and since it is almost Christmas and shops are not open on Sundays this street becomes gound zero. I left the house at 9:30 and girded my loins and headed straight to the store called Bik Bok. On Friday morning, after a therapy session with the Kid, I spied a super cute sequined dress in the window. I thought it would be perfect for the party on Saturday evening. I walked into the empty (thank you, Jeebus) store. The assistant greeted me and I could tell that she was wondering if I was lost. I headed to the rack of dresses and picked out one in size L. Oh, the shame. I headed to the dressing room and took off my coat and hipster hat and took off my sweater. I was careful to avoid the mirror because I know the pain they can cause. I actually rarely try clothes on because I generally know what will fit me... apparently anything tent like. I pulled the dress over my head and let a thousand little sequins tear into my flesh as I pulled it down over my chubby body. I caught a quick glimpse of myself in the mirror and I almost turned to stone. TERRIBLE. Why why why must changing rooms have overhead lighting that seems to accentuate EVERYTHING and makes me look like the Elephant Man? WHY? I got the dress on and took a look at myself and wanted to cry. I looked like a sequined overstuffed ottoman. I decided to say "no to the dress" and proceeded to spend another 5 minutes rebirthing myself out of the dress. Oh the scratching. The sweat. The contortions. With a heavy heart, I put the dress back on the hanger and walked out of the changing room. Not to feel like a complete loser, I ended up buying a fake fur vest and a stretchy sequined skirt. I then bought a big black blouse at New Yorker and I think it is time for me to say good bye to the teen shops. Or maybe I should stop eating mac and cheese on Sunday mornings. Either or. Sigh.
So last night was a champagne ladies party. I decided that it would be an awesome way to spend time with friends and to enjoy the holiday season. I spent Thursday and Friday baking cookies and brownies and on Saturday I made finger foods. I love hosting and I love making food. I try to make the table look as pretty as possible because I truly want my guests to feel special. I also want praise.. not going to lie. At 8, the guests started to arrive and it seemed like a cork was popping every 5 minutes. It was so great to see old friends and new friends. A friend that I have known for over 20 years came and she brought one of her childhood friends who I remembered and who looks the same and I think I said something like "But you have boobies now!" Not proud of myself. At one point, two guests met and then they realized that they knew each other over 20 years ago also. One of the women had been the other woman's piano teacher! Vienna is so interconnected that it is scary. It was also great to meet someone for the first time who has been reading my blog for a couple of years. I'm always a little nervous when I meet someone who has read my blog before meeting me. I wonder if they have a different image of me and then I show up and they are all like "Yikes, not so funny anymore. Thought the blog was satire but now I know that you are just a complete hot mess. Buh bye." Gah! Anyway, it was such a fun fun fun night with so much laughter. I love an all-women party! There is something special about getting a whole bunch of awesome ladies together (not prison) with no men in the area. A sort of fun sisterhood is created and the estrogen makes everybody high, giddy, huggy and all round awesome. It was a total Spice Girls Girl Power Party and we were all pink Power Rangers last night. I LOVE MY FRIENDS!
This morning I was not a Power Ranger. I was kersplat dead. Ugh.
A big thank you to the Husband for taking the Kid for the night. I was able to clean the apartment and drink liters of water hunched over with a blanket wrapped around my shoulders. I even took a nap. I am still tired but I am definitely feeling more human now. The apartment is clean, the cookies have been finished off and soon I will head to bed with a book and an aspirin. But before that, one more small story.
This afternoon, while I was feeling fragile, I decided to look up the new Israeli restaurant that just opened up in Vienna. It is called Miznon and apparently star chef Eyal Shani is the brains behind this pita restaurant. On a whim, or still drunk from last night, I sent the new restaurant a Facebook PM. I wrote "Please don't hate me for asking this, but do you guys serve Matzoh Ball soup? Signed, desperate Canadian Jew in Vienna" I figured I wouldn't get a response but a minute later this popped up "You can never know but I don't think so.... We don't hate you at all for that question." Aww. I thought that was adorable so I wrote "Hahaha! Thank you for your speedy response! I can't wait to try your place anyway!" and then I got the response "We'll wait for you. :)" How adorable is that?! So I wrote "Aww thank you. But you will probably regret saying that once you meet me. Do you take reservations?" and they wrote back "I am sure we won't regret that. We don't take reservations but come by whenever you want." So I am going to do just that and go on Tuesday evening with a friend. I thought the whole messaging was awesome and I have no idea who I was communicating with but I salute you for making my afternoon!
I wish you all a fabulous Sunday night! It's time for me to lie down now.
The other night, I stopped at Billa for some groceries. The next day was a holiday (not for me) and it was packed. Every time there is a holiday the next day, Austrians stock up. It suddenly turns into an episode about Doomsday preppers as carts are filled to the brim. Now, I understand getting the basics like wine and cheese, but why on Earth does someone need 15 bottles of Cillit Bang. The shops will be open on Wednesday, calm yourself. This reminds me of the time I was at Merkur a couple of years ago and the guy in front of me was buying every type of cleaning supply in multiples. Being the rational girl that I am, I went on Facebook and described what this man was buying and concluded he had obviously killed his wife and needed to hide the evidence. Someone finally pointed out to me that cleaning supplies were 15% off that day. So I left the line and bought my own multiples of Oxy Clean. So on Monday I was at Billa and there were two lines with at least 12 people in them. I was close to the till and on the other side a guy was just about to pay. He passed over his store card and the woman said something about a discount. He didn't understand and responded in English. "Um, what? I'm sorry, I don't understand." Then the woman continued in German and you could see him look around in a panic. I was about to intervene when the woman in front of me helped to translate. He shrugged and thanked his interpreter and said he wanted to the discount and the woman at the till then said "I have to re-scan all of your items." and she started to take all of his items out of his basket and you could see the panic bubble up again. His interpreter on the other side said "If you want the discount, she has to re-scan all of your items." and then the grumbling behind the poor guy started. He turned to the line up of people behind him and apologized profusely. I felt bad for him... but probably because he wasn't in front of me.
On Thursday, the Husband got a call from the kindergarten. Turns out he was having a bit of a meltdown. For the past week and a half, he has been staying until 1 p.m. which means he is there for lunchtime. This time they tried to get him to eat noodles before having a pudding and he was having none.of.that. He cried and cried and tried to hug the lady. I guess that was his way of begging for the pudding. At one point he apparently took her face in his hands and stared her straight in the eyes. I think he probably was trying to convey "Look, lady. You give me the pudding and we can forget all of this drama. Look, I'm even giving you eye contact which all you adults seem so damn focused on getting me to do. NOW GIVE ME THE GODDAMN PUDDING!" She is stronger than me and did not give in. She also is braver than I am. At 1, The Nanny picked him up and I heard that he then found the nearest park bench, grabbed his box of cookies and ate ALL OF THEM in a few minutes. I kind of have to admire his stubbornness. The woman at the daycare suggested that after Christmas, we try and get him to eat different foods. I'll keep her in my thoughts.
On Saturday morning, I decided to brave Mariahilferstrasse. This is the main shopping street in Vienna and since it is almost Christmas and shops are not open on Sundays this street becomes gound zero. I left the house at 9:30 and girded my loins and headed straight to the store called Bik Bok. On Friday morning, after a therapy session with the Kid, I spied a super cute sequined dress in the window. I thought it would be perfect for the party on Saturday evening. I walked into the empty (thank you, Jeebus) store. The assistant greeted me and I could tell that she was wondering if I was lost. I headed to the rack of dresses and picked out one in size L. Oh, the shame. I headed to the dressing room and took off my coat and hipster hat and took off my sweater. I was careful to avoid the mirror because I know the pain they can cause. I actually rarely try clothes on because I generally know what will fit me... apparently anything tent like. I pulled the dress over my head and let a thousand little sequins tear into my flesh as I pulled it down over my chubby body. I caught a quick glimpse of myself in the mirror and I almost turned to stone. TERRIBLE. Why why why must changing rooms have overhead lighting that seems to accentuate EVERYTHING and makes me look like the Elephant Man? WHY? I got the dress on and took a look at myself and wanted to cry. I looked like a sequined overstuffed ottoman. I decided to say "no to the dress" and proceeded to spend another 5 minutes rebirthing myself out of the dress. Oh the scratching. The sweat. The contortions. With a heavy heart, I put the dress back on the hanger and walked out of the changing room. Not to feel like a complete loser, I ended up buying a fake fur vest and a stretchy sequined skirt. I then bought a big black blouse at New Yorker and I think it is time for me to say good bye to the teen shops. Or maybe I should stop eating mac and cheese on Sunday mornings. Either or. Sigh.
So last night was a champagne ladies party. I decided that it would be an awesome way to spend time with friends and to enjoy the holiday season. I spent Thursday and Friday baking cookies and brownies and on Saturday I made finger foods. I love hosting and I love making food. I try to make the table look as pretty as possible because I truly want my guests to feel special. I also want praise.. not going to lie. At 8, the guests started to arrive and it seemed like a cork was popping every 5 minutes. It was so great to see old friends and new friends. A friend that I have known for over 20 years came and she brought one of her childhood friends who I remembered and who looks the same and I think I said something like "But you have boobies now!" Not proud of myself. At one point, two guests met and then they realized that they knew each other over 20 years ago also. One of the women had been the other woman's piano teacher! Vienna is so interconnected that it is scary. It was also great to meet someone for the first time who has been reading my blog for a couple of years. I'm always a little nervous when I meet someone who has read my blog before meeting me. I wonder if they have a different image of me and then I show up and they are all like "Yikes, not so funny anymore. Thought the blog was satire but now I know that you are just a complete hot mess. Buh bye." Gah! Anyway, it was such a fun fun fun night with so much laughter. I love an all-women party! There is something special about getting a whole bunch of awesome ladies together (not prison) with no men in the area. A sort of fun sisterhood is created and the estrogen makes everybody high, giddy, huggy and all round awesome. It was a total Spice Girls Girl Power Party and we were all pink Power Rangers last night. I LOVE MY FRIENDS!
This morning I was not a Power Ranger. I was kersplat dead. Ugh.
A big thank you to the Husband for taking the Kid for the night. I was able to clean the apartment and drink liters of water hunched over with a blanket wrapped around my shoulders. I even took a nap. I am still tired but I am definitely feeling more human now. The apartment is clean, the cookies have been finished off and soon I will head to bed with a book and an aspirin. But before that, one more small story.
This afternoon, while I was feeling fragile, I decided to look up the new Israeli restaurant that just opened up in Vienna. It is called Miznon and apparently star chef Eyal Shani is the brains behind this pita restaurant. On a whim, or still drunk from last night, I sent the new restaurant a Facebook PM. I wrote "Please don't hate me for asking this, but do you guys serve Matzoh Ball soup? Signed, desperate Canadian Jew in Vienna" I figured I wouldn't get a response but a minute later this popped up "You can never know but I don't think so.... We don't hate you at all for that question." Aww. I thought that was adorable so I wrote "Hahaha! Thank you for your speedy response! I can't wait to try your place anyway!" and then I got the response "We'll wait for you. :)" How adorable is that?! So I wrote "Aww thank you. But you will probably regret saying that once you meet me. Do you take reservations?" and they wrote back "I am sure we won't regret that. We don't take reservations but come by whenever you want." So I am going to do just that and go on Tuesday evening with a friend. I thought the whole messaging was awesome and I have no idea who I was communicating with but I salute you for making my afternoon!
I wish you all a fabulous Sunday night! It's time for me to lie down now.
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