Awkwardness and Feeling Like My Old Self, Slowly
Hello Tuesday evening! A friend was over for a little while for some wine and to catch up and it was fabulous! She was on an epic adventure and I am so happy for her and totally jealous! Welcome back D.K.! In other news, I am not going out this week so this was a good compromise. Wine at home, less chance of being an idiot in public. The Kid is in bed (not asleep) and I am finishing up this post and then I will watch some TV and then head to bed for a decent night's sleep. Last night the Kid was difficult. He had had a fabulous day with the Husband: playground fun, an attempt to get him into the train station (they lasted 5 minutes in the entrance which is a HUGE success), french fries from a fast food joint and then back to the playground. I saw them in the park as I headed home and the Kid happily held my hand as we walked back. He was in a great mood and the Husband went to the gym and I had an early dinner and gave the Kid a bath. Soon after that, the Kid got upset. He tried to pull my shirt and hit me a few times and it was pretty emotionally damaging for me but I know it wasn't personal. What goes through my head when he does this? "Where is my sweet little boy?" and of course also "I wish I knew what I could do." and what goes through his head? I don't know and it kills me. The only thing that gets me through these phases is knowing that this usually means an amazing developmental jump is around the corner... if I don't jump out of the window first. It's a struggle guys, and it is freaking hard but we have to take it day by day. It also doesn't help when wakes up at 3:30 a.m. and puts on his own production of Hamilton or Les Mis or whatever the hell he is saying (as he did last night). GAH! It was a rough night yesterday and I just want to curl into a little ball tonight and pet some cashmere and hold my Chanel purse, and then get sad again because I won't be able to afford cashmere and a Chanel purse soon.
The fabulous news is that he was an absolute joy and finally seemed back to his old self after over a week of Hell. Fingers crossed that this difficult phase passes soon. In better news, I am starting to plan the Halloween party. This will be our 11th party and I swear they get more and more exciting. About 3 years ago, on the night of one of our parties, I remember standing in the kitchen and thinking to myself, this will be the last Halloween party in this apartment. That night we had close to 40 people in our cramped apartment and it was a fire hazard extraordinaire! And sure enough, a few months later, we moved into our new place. And it is just perfect for a Halloween party. My decorations have matured... unlike me... and every year I make a couple of new things to add to my collection. Luckily our friends around the corner let me store the decorations in their basement because otherwise I would have to make a decision whether I needed shoes or glitter skulls. My two big projects for this Halloween is to figure out how to make the Kid's room look like the Bayou and to make a fog chiller. I did some Internet searching last night and found a link for a fog chiller. Now, we have a fog machine but it never really did the fog I wanted... it ended up looking like the inside of Shaggy's van on Scooby Doo... Oh come on, now. We all know he liked to partake in a little of the whacky tobacky. Amirite? So, in order to make my fog look more foggy, I found out I needed to make a fog chiller. Unfortunately the few links that I found required me using tools that plug in and I am ridiculously clumsy and know that somehow I would drill a hole into my hand. After getting stitches, I would of course make a stupid Stigmata joke because that is how I roll. I finally found a super easy alternative and I have a feeling the experimentation will take up a lot of my September weekends.
So a funny thing happened this afternoon. But first, let's take a walk down memory lane. Back when I was about 20, not in college, lost and just unhappy, I had made a sudden decision that somehow I would become a food critic. This was problematic because a) I was not a writer and b) I am no gourmand. I would probably have been at some fancy restaurant being like "The scallops sound lovely but how about you go back there and grill me some cheese? Yes?" After watching an episode of Sex and the City, and believing myself to be a chubby and very poor Carrie Bradshaw, I wrote a restaurant review about a Chinese restaurant I had visited. I even remember coming up with a sentence that said something like "My little gastronomic nuggets of gold." and thinking that I was the most brilliant person ever. Full of typos and stupid sentences like the one above, I sent my review via e-mail to I believe the Toronto Sun. Funny enough, I actually received an e-mail shortly thereafter saying "Yeah, we don't take reviews. But thanks anyway!" and probably this was a pretty Canadian thing to actually take the time to write back because I am pretty sure the New Yorker would have a) not written back and b) maybe would have sent my review wrapped around a gutted fish. Meh. I was young! But I had a dream. And now, 15 years later, I have had the opportunity to review some places for Vienna Würstelstand and it is all very fabulous and interesting that I am actually doing something I actually dreamed about doing all those years earlier. So today was a day that I had to review a dish for the fabulous VW. I will not disclose what it was about or where I went... but let's just say that all I expected to do was eat the dish, take some pictures, and then dash out of there like Carmen Sandiego. I showed up a little early, said who I was and was met with confusion. I wondered if somehow I had spoken in Chinese and repeated myself. Eventually a flicker of understanding crossed across one of the men's face and I was told that he would just call the owner. And that was the moment that the music from a horror film starts playing and all I wanted to do was be like "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!" But I stayed put, tried to look professional and took pictures. Of course the professionalism lasted for a second when I realized that the restaurant I was standing in had been oft featured in a TV show that I adore and so I started to think "Zomg! This is the place!" A minute later, the two owners came out and shook my hand and then gestured to a table and asked what I wanted to drink and I was like "JUST TAP WATER PLEASE!!!" And they sat down and I blurted out "Hey, is this the place that show showed on TV?!?" and they nodded yes suddenly unexpectedly was doing an interview in terrible German (What is the Konzept of your food? Would you say modern? Shut up, Tova! SHUT UP!) and they were so incredibly kind and lovely and then at one point I mentioned my autism center because I am an idiot and they were so interested in that and for 45 minutes we all chatted and I felt so incredibly awkward because I would have worn a better bra and not worn bright pink lipstick had I known I would be meeting them and GAAAAHHHH! I ate the dish and it was spectacular and I thanked them profusely and I apologized for existing and for breathing the same air because they were so fabulous and I was wearing black nail polish and made stupid jokes like "No more food for me because bikini season! AHAHAHAHA!! Cause I am fat." Ugh. The awkwardness. I finished up and practically bowed exited the restaurant and ran to the U-bahn station. Wow, it's good to be back to my awkward and uncomfortable self instead of my last week of self pity and malaise.
So that was today and boy, am I happy to be in a better mood in general. I needed a bit of a kick in the ass and I got it... gourmand style (which has led to Gangnam Style). In other news, I am still so obsessed with Ghostbuster that I want all the Ghostbusters merchandise! Exhibit A below.
I think I might even watch it with a friend again next week! This is how obsessed I am with this film! Yay! Girls rule! Anyway, it is time for me to head to bed and look at my pretty things and to maybe Google "How to be less awkward." I wish you all a fabulous night! Toodles!
The fabulous news is that he was an absolute joy and finally seemed back to his old self after over a week of Hell. Fingers crossed that this difficult phase passes soon. In better news, I am starting to plan the Halloween party. This will be our 11th party and I swear they get more and more exciting. About 3 years ago, on the night of one of our parties, I remember standing in the kitchen and thinking to myself, this will be the last Halloween party in this apartment. That night we had close to 40 people in our cramped apartment and it was a fire hazard extraordinaire! And sure enough, a few months later, we moved into our new place. And it is just perfect for a Halloween party. My decorations have matured... unlike me... and every year I make a couple of new things to add to my collection. Luckily our friends around the corner let me store the decorations in their basement because otherwise I would have to make a decision whether I needed shoes or glitter skulls. My two big projects for this Halloween is to figure out how to make the Kid's room look like the Bayou and to make a fog chiller. I did some Internet searching last night and found a link for a fog chiller. Now, we have a fog machine but it never really did the fog I wanted... it ended up looking like the inside of Shaggy's van on Scooby Doo... Oh come on, now. We all know he liked to partake in a little of the whacky tobacky. Amirite? So, in order to make my fog look more foggy, I found out I needed to make a fog chiller. Unfortunately the few links that I found required me using tools that plug in and I am ridiculously clumsy and know that somehow I would drill a hole into my hand. After getting stitches, I would of course make a stupid Stigmata joke because that is how I roll. I finally found a super easy alternative and I have a feeling the experimentation will take up a lot of my September weekends.
So a funny thing happened this afternoon. But first, let's take a walk down memory lane. Back when I was about 20, not in college, lost and just unhappy, I had made a sudden decision that somehow I would become a food critic. This was problematic because a) I was not a writer and b) I am no gourmand. I would probably have been at some fancy restaurant being like "The scallops sound lovely but how about you go back there and grill me some cheese? Yes?" After watching an episode of Sex and the City, and believing myself to be a chubby and very poor Carrie Bradshaw, I wrote a restaurant review about a Chinese restaurant I had visited. I even remember coming up with a sentence that said something like "My little gastronomic nuggets of gold." and thinking that I was the most brilliant person ever. Full of typos and stupid sentences like the one above, I sent my review via e-mail to I believe the Toronto Sun. Funny enough, I actually received an e-mail shortly thereafter saying "Yeah, we don't take reviews. But thanks anyway!" and probably this was a pretty Canadian thing to actually take the time to write back because I am pretty sure the New Yorker would have a) not written back and b) maybe would have sent my review wrapped around a gutted fish. Meh. I was young! But I had a dream. And now, 15 years later, I have had the opportunity to review some places for Vienna Würstelstand and it is all very fabulous and interesting that I am actually doing something I actually dreamed about doing all those years earlier. So today was a day that I had to review a dish for the fabulous VW. I will not disclose what it was about or where I went... but let's just say that all I expected to do was eat the dish, take some pictures, and then dash out of there like Carmen Sandiego. I showed up a little early, said who I was and was met with confusion. I wondered if somehow I had spoken in Chinese and repeated myself. Eventually a flicker of understanding crossed across one of the men's face and I was told that he would just call the owner. And that was the moment that the music from a horror film starts playing and all I wanted to do was be like "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!" But I stayed put, tried to look professional and took pictures. Of course the professionalism lasted for a second when I realized that the restaurant I was standing in had been oft featured in a TV show that I adore and so I started to think "Zomg! This is the place!" A minute later, the two owners came out and shook my hand and then gestured to a table and asked what I wanted to drink and I was like "JUST TAP WATER PLEASE!!!" And they sat down and I blurted out "Hey, is this the place that show showed on TV?!?" and they nodded yes suddenly unexpectedly was doing an interview in terrible German (What is the Konzept of your food? Would you say modern? Shut up, Tova! SHUT UP!) and they were so incredibly kind and lovely and then at one point I mentioned my autism center because I am an idiot and they were so interested in that and for 45 minutes we all chatted and I felt so incredibly awkward because I would have worn a better bra and not worn bright pink lipstick had I known I would be meeting them and GAAAAHHHH! I ate the dish and it was spectacular and I thanked them profusely and I apologized for existing and for breathing the same air because they were so fabulous and I was wearing black nail polish and made stupid jokes like "No more food for me because bikini season! AHAHAHAHA!! Cause I am fat." Ugh. The awkwardness. I finished up and practically bowed exited the restaurant and ran to the U-bahn station. Wow, it's good to be back to my awkward and uncomfortable self instead of my last week of self pity and malaise.
So that was today and boy, am I happy to be in a better mood in general. I needed a bit of a kick in the ass and I got it... gourmand style (which has led to Gangnam Style). In other news, I am still so obsessed with Ghostbuster that I want all the Ghostbusters merchandise! Exhibit A below.
I think I might even watch it with a friend again next week! This is how obsessed I am with this film! Yay! Girls rule! Anyway, it is time for me to head to bed and look at my pretty things and to maybe Google "How to be less awkward." I wish you all a fabulous night! Toodles!
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