A Little Story About Stalking and Happy Friday!
It is almost the weekend and I cannot wait! And we received some great news from our Nanny last night. Last week I took a day off because of a medical situation and last night, she was able to celebrate a little so I think this is a great start to the weekend! The last few days have been fun. On Wednesday I met my friend L.G. for dinner at the Beaver Brewing Company. We caught up and chatted and Mr. Beaver joined us for a couple of drinks. L.G. and I ordered the tomato soup and grilled cheese and at the end of the meal, D.B. asked what we though about the grilled cheese and I said "Needs more cheese" and this is why I am fat. And guess what? The next day, on my Facebook feed, there was a video about grilled cheese which makes me want to take out the tin foil and make myself a hat.
Yesterday after work, I met my friend M.R. for a couple of drinks at the Rathausplatz - literally my favourite summer hang out. Tick off a box from my bucket list! We had some beer and somehow I ended up deciding to host a small brunch on Sunday. I haven't entertained in a couple of months so it will be nice to do that. Menu planning happening now!
Last night, when I got home, I hung out with the Kid, made some dinner and then put him to bed. He only came out about 3 times which is an improvement over his nightly breaks for freedom. He knows he isn't supposed to sneak out and the first 4 times it is kind of adorable, seeing him tiptoe into the living room, but by the 10th time you are all like "DON'T POKE THE BEAR!"Anyway, he only came out 3 times so I was able to start watching Fatal Attraction pretty soon after his bed time. Now, I first watched this film when I was a teenager. I remember thinking "Gosh, Michael Douglas is an ass. But she so cray cray." and then when I was in my 20s, and I saw it again, I was like "Gosh, he really is an ass. And she is pretty cray cray." and now that I am 35, watching it again last night, I was all like "MICHAEL DOUGLAS IS THE BIGGEST ASS IN THE WORLD and well, she has issues but don't we all?" Ok, granted, (warning, spoilers.. this film came out in 87 so you can't be mad) Glenn Close probably should have not slit her wrists (I am dramatic but damn, girl) and you know, boil a bunny, but my God was Michael Douglas a complete asshole. And I am pretty sure this what not his first foray into a little extramarital schtupping. No bueno. I found that I was only cheering for the child at the end and would have had no problem with Michael Douglas being offed. Meow. I don't have a lot of patience for infidelity... It sucks to be an adult but you can't have your cake and eat it too; exhibit A, my ass. This film was like the gateway drug to painting single women in their 30's as "psychos". She doesn't have a baby yet? She going to go boil your bunny. Yeah, I did enjoy this film (save for the elevator scene because that seems like a disaster waiting to happen) but I also realized that my life has changed so much that I can actually feel empathy for the villain. Don't get me wrong, she be bat shit crazy but MICHAEL DOUGLAS IS AN ASS!
Anyway... I joke a lot about stalking and I know that in real life, that stuff isn't cool. It's terrifying and a crime. When I talk about my type of stalking, of course this does not apply to me. The whole stalking thing actually started up about 18 months ago thanks to Office Twin...who has now learned that I totally mean it when I say "Challenge accepted." So this is finally the story of how I got into stalking. Now, I am good on the Internet. Since I spend approximately 19 hours a day on it, I can pretty much find anything or anyone and I love nothing more when someone says "So, like, I have this old friend and her name is Mary...." and then a minute later I am all like "35 Sunset Crescent, 3 kids and a dog, likes wine." Boom! So here is the infamous stalking story that some of my friends already know about. Back about 18 months ago, Office Twin walked into the office with a sad face and I was like "What's wrong, puddum?" He told me he had seen an article about someone he hates and it riled him up. And I said "Who and why and tell me more! Do you have an arch nemesis?!?" and he told me all about this one guy he hates. So of course I Googled this man and well, not a bad looking guy at all! So I said to Office Twin "I will help destroy him for you." and Office Twin perked up and said "You would do that for me?" and I said "But of course. This is what is going to happen. Somehow I am going to meet this guy. When I meet him, I will charm him. I will make him fall in love with me. And then, when he proposes I will say 'No! I reject your proposal! FOR OFFICE TWIN! BAHAHAHAHAHA!' Awesome plan, right?"
And then Office Twin said "Ok, there are just a couple of little, teeny tiny problems with your diabolical plan." and I went "What?! What could possibly go wrong?" and he responded with "Well, first of all, the guy is married, and funny enough, hard to believe it sometimes, but so are you...." and I said "I'm not going to actually make out with the guy. I don't cheat. It's just not in my DNA. But with my charming personality, he can't help but be smitten. RIGHT?" and then Office Twin said "And you are doing this to avenge me, not because you find the guy attractive?" and I clicked close the 4 windows open on my desktop of pictures of the guy and responded with "How dare you! I am doing this for you!" and then whispered "And yes, he just happens to be good looking..." The plan went into effect immediately. I made contact! And slowly but surely, found out more and more about the guy. One time I almost even got to meet him one on one but the plans were cancelled last minute. I was so close! Office Twin just shook his head in amazement at it all... and I think I even saw a little bit of respect in his eyes.. oh, and fear too. I finally met the target a few months ago and it was one of the best moments of my life. It must be how Michaelangelo felt like once he stepped off the scaffolding and saw his work completed on the ceiling of the Sistine Chapel. I felt I had applied myself and my work had come to fruition. Ok, fine, he didn't fall in love with me and I haven't seen him since and probably never will see him again. A 5 minute conversation was not enough to sway or rather woo him. And I am not pretty so there's another disadvantage. But I look back at that moment as an example of when I actually applied myself. Could you just imagine what I could have been had I worked this hard in school? I could have been a doctor, a lawyer or even a pharmaceutical rep! It was a lot of fun and a friend did help me out. Everybody loves a good project! Office Twin learned an important lesson those few months... never ever tell me I can't do something.
And so, my friends, that is the tale that I regale people with after a couple of cocktails. A story of my type of stalking. I must say that now I feel a little deflated. Like I need a new little project. Sure, I didn't ever really get to "destroy" Office Twin's arch nemesis. And of course, I would never ever actually do it... but now I feel a little like a lost ship, with no new target. Alas. So sad. But maybe one day soon, another opportunity will arise and then "Challenge accepted."
I wish you all a fabulous weekend! Toodles! (Disclaimer: again, I do not condone stalking. Just the harmless stuff I do and then write about. Heh.)
Yesterday after work, I met my friend M.R. for a couple of drinks at the Rathausplatz - literally my favourite summer hang out. Tick off a box from my bucket list! We had some beer and somehow I ended up deciding to host a small brunch on Sunday. I haven't entertained in a couple of months so it will be nice to do that. Menu planning happening now!
Last night, when I got home, I hung out with the Kid, made some dinner and then put him to bed. He only came out about 3 times which is an improvement over his nightly breaks for freedom. He knows he isn't supposed to sneak out and the first 4 times it is kind of adorable, seeing him tiptoe into the living room, but by the 10th time you are all like "DON'T POKE THE BEAR!"Anyway, he only came out 3 times so I was able to start watching Fatal Attraction pretty soon after his bed time. Now, I first watched this film when I was a teenager. I remember thinking "Gosh, Michael Douglas is an ass. But she so cray cray." and then when I was in my 20s, and I saw it again, I was like "Gosh, he really is an ass. And she is pretty cray cray." and now that I am 35, watching it again last night, I was all like "MICHAEL DOUGLAS IS THE BIGGEST ASS IN THE WORLD and well, she has issues but don't we all?" Ok, granted, (warning, spoilers.. this film came out in 87 so you can't be mad) Glenn Close probably should have not slit her wrists (I am dramatic but damn, girl) and you know, boil a bunny, but my God was Michael Douglas a complete asshole. And I am pretty sure this what not his first foray into a little extramarital schtupping. No bueno. I found that I was only cheering for the child at the end and would have had no problem with Michael Douglas being offed. Meow. I don't have a lot of patience for infidelity... It sucks to be an adult but you can't have your cake and eat it too; exhibit A, my ass. This film was like the gateway drug to painting single women in their 30's as "psychos". She doesn't have a baby yet? She going to go boil your bunny. Yeah, I did enjoy this film (save for the elevator scene because that seems like a disaster waiting to happen) but I also realized that my life has changed so much that I can actually feel empathy for the villain. Don't get me wrong, she be bat shit crazy but MICHAEL DOUGLAS IS AN ASS!
Anyway... I joke a lot about stalking and I know that in real life, that stuff isn't cool. It's terrifying and a crime. When I talk about my type of stalking, of course this does not apply to me. The whole stalking thing actually started up about 18 months ago thanks to Office Twin...who has now learned that I totally mean it when I say "Challenge accepted." So this is finally the story of how I got into stalking. Now, I am good on the Internet. Since I spend approximately 19 hours a day on it, I can pretty much find anything or anyone and I love nothing more when someone says "So, like, I have this old friend and her name is Mary...." and then a minute later I am all like "35 Sunset Crescent, 3 kids and a dog, likes wine." Boom! So here is the infamous stalking story that some of my friends already know about. Back about 18 months ago, Office Twin walked into the office with a sad face and I was like "What's wrong, puddum?" He told me he had seen an article about someone he hates and it riled him up. And I said "Who and why and tell me more! Do you have an arch nemesis?!?" and he told me all about this one guy he hates. So of course I Googled this man and well, not a bad looking guy at all! So I said to Office Twin "I will help destroy him for you." and Office Twin perked up and said "You would do that for me?" and I said "But of course. This is what is going to happen. Somehow I am going to meet this guy. When I meet him, I will charm him. I will make him fall in love with me. And then, when he proposes I will say 'No! I reject your proposal! FOR OFFICE TWIN! BAHAHAHAHAHA!' Awesome plan, right?"
And then Office Twin said "Ok, there are just a couple of little, teeny tiny problems with your diabolical plan." and I went "What?! What could possibly go wrong?" and he responded with "Well, first of all, the guy is married, and funny enough, hard to believe it sometimes, but so are you...." and I said "I'm not going to actually make out with the guy. I don't cheat. It's just not in my DNA. But with my charming personality, he can't help but be smitten. RIGHT?" and then Office Twin said "And you are doing this to avenge me, not because you find the guy attractive?" and I clicked close the 4 windows open on my desktop of pictures of the guy and responded with "How dare you! I am doing this for you!" and then whispered "And yes, he just happens to be good looking..." The plan went into effect immediately. I made contact! And slowly but surely, found out more and more about the guy. One time I almost even got to meet him one on one but the plans were cancelled last minute. I was so close! Office Twin just shook his head in amazement at it all... and I think I even saw a little bit of respect in his eyes.. oh, and fear too. I finally met the target a few months ago and it was one of the best moments of my life. It must be how Michaelangelo felt like once he stepped off the scaffolding and saw his work completed on the ceiling of the Sistine Chapel. I felt I had applied myself and my work had come to fruition. Ok, fine, he didn't fall in love with me and I haven't seen him since and probably never will see him again. A 5 minute conversation was not enough to sway or rather woo him. And I am not pretty so there's another disadvantage. But I look back at that moment as an example of when I actually applied myself. Could you just imagine what I could have been had I worked this hard in school? I could have been a doctor, a lawyer or even a pharmaceutical rep! It was a lot of fun and a friend did help me out. Everybody loves a good project! Office Twin learned an important lesson those few months... never ever tell me I can't do something.
And so, my friends, that is the tale that I regale people with after a couple of cocktails. A story of my type of stalking. I must say that now I feel a little deflated. Like I need a new little project. Sure, I didn't ever really get to "destroy" Office Twin's arch nemesis. And of course, I would never ever actually do it... but now I feel a little like a lost ship, with no new target. Alas. So sad. But maybe one day soon, another opportunity will arise and then "Challenge accepted."
I wish you all a fabulous weekend! Toodles! (Disclaimer: again, I do not condone stalking. Just the harmless stuff I do and then write about. Heh.)
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