An Epic Bday Party
Wellity wellity wellity. I am feeling a tad delicate today but I am surviving. Last night I went to a friend's birthday party and it was AMAZING! The theme was "1971" and I had no idea where to find a vintage style dress. Luckily, as I was online shopping for the Kid, I spied a 9 euro dress from H&M and decided to break my no shopping ban. It's a stretchy off the shoulder red mini dress with bell sleeves and I kind of really love it. I wore a bandeau bra but really, NASA needs to get on it and make a strapless bra that doesn't feel like it is slowly squeezing you to death like a python. Since it was a 70s theme, I knew I had to make one with the blue eye shadow and eyeliner and of course, put my hair up in a bizarre coif. The result is below.
Why yes, I do look like a lady of the night. Or maybe the lady of the early bird special and Bingo. The party was kicking off at 5 at the Ritz Carlton roof top bar. I realized when I was en route that I was going to be early (BECAUSE I AM ALWAYS EARLY!) and wrote on the party page "I am going to be about 15 minutes early so someone please be there because I look like a prostitute!" and one friend responded with "Well, then, a rich Russian might buy you are drink." and I responded with "No, he will just tell me I am blocking the view." I walked into the Ritz Carlton and tried to look not like a hooker and went straight to the elevators to take me to the roof top bar. I felt incredibly awkward in my get up and I walked up to the guy at the desk and said with fake confidence "Yes, hello. Reservation for G.G." and he looked at the reservation list and said "No. I am sorry. There is no reservation in that name." and I wanted to die a little so then I said "It's a reservation for about 15 people." and he said "No. Sorry." and I was on the verge of throwing myself off the roof top terrace. I then said in panic "I'm here for a theme party! THAT'S WHY I LOOK LIKE A HOOKER! AHAHAHAH" and laughed maniacally. Poor guy looked at me and was like "I see. I mean no. I mean.." he was obviously torn between complimenting me on my look but not calling a guest a tramp whore. I finally said "Ok, I am just going to call my friend and figure this out." So I called her and she told me she hadn't reserved because there is a "minimum drink" thingy and I thanked her and hung up and said to the guy "My now ex-friend didn't make a reservation. May I take that table over there?" and I tried to walk with as much dignity as I could past the Polo shirt clad guests. I ordered a glass of Chateau blah blah and waited for the others. Luckily only a few minutes passed and suddenly we had to try and convince them to put three tables together to accommodate all of us. I turned to one of my Canadian friends and said to him "Hey. Let's be Canadian and avoid conflict and go stand at one of the high tables over there." Luckily everyone got a seat and we drank and talked for an hour and then it was time to head to our next stop.
As we exited the Ritz Carlton, a group of very rich tourists piled out of a van carrying many many bags from Primark. The juxtaposition made me laugh and I gave them all a mental high five. We walked on the Ring to our next stop, a group of giddy adults, ready for dinner and hopefully slightly cheaper drinks. We showed up at the Hotel Trieste on Wiedner Hauptstrasse and loudly entered the hotel lobby. We made our way to the gorgeous restaurant courtyard (restaurant COLLIO, not COOLIO which I originally thought was the name and I was a little disappointed when I found out I was wrong) where a long table was set beautifully. I said "This is like a magazine photo shoot! This is like something out of Pinterest!" We took our seats, had some pink champagne and see, it looked just like a magazine photo shoot!
It was a set menu and we started off with a caprese salad which was actually pretty spectacular! At our end of the table we spied a couple tucked away in the corner. The woman was mostly plastic and I thought she looked pretty amazing. Her gentleman friend looked... kind. We came to the consensus that she might have been a mail order bride. We are assholes. At one point she went to the bathroom and one male friend said "Who even finds that attractive?! Would you ever do that?" he asked me. And without pause I answered "If I had enough money then yes!" And then I said "And that is the type of woman my husband will most likely leave me for." and he said "But she probably can't even string a sentence together." and I said "That's probably her selling point!" I moved onto red wine and soon it was time for our next course which was grilled meat. SO MUCH GRILLED MEAT! They placed sides on the table: roasted potato wedges, grilled eggplant and zucchini, baked polenta and incredibly bright sauces that we couldn't stop commenting on. I don't know what was in the food but were were all incredibly giddy and I said "This is perfect! Why, this is just a PERFECT NIGHT! WHAT A WAY TO END SUMMER! PERFECT!" Our waiter was also completely on fire and we all commented on his ability to notice just when we were about to finish a drink. I blame this man for my slight hangover today. But I salute his skill.
After dinner we had some more drinks and I continued to say "This is perfect! Why, this is just a PERFECT NIGHT! WHAT A WAY TO END SUMMER! PERFECT!" Around 10:30, the bill was paid and we all made our way to the Ubahn station to make our way to the Karaoke bar Lemmon by Schwedenplatz. I'm not much of a singer (I make angels cry... in pain) but I like this Karaoke bar because there is no stage and you can literally sit at the bar and sing and nobody judges you. As we waited for the Ubahn, a large bachelor party walked by. The poor groom was dressed as a bottle of Budweiser. I thought he was dressed up as a hot dog. Oh well. He had a basket filled with mini bottles of schnapps and he was charging a euro a bottle. Not bad! Drinks for only 10 of my friends, please! We exited at Schwedenplatz and half the group stopped for ice cream and the other half looked for a bank machine. We regrouped and luckily were able to find space in the very packed bar. And look at that, there was a bachelorette party! Actually, there seemed to be two but I didn't care because I got a seat at the bar and my spritzer in record time. People sang, we sang along, there were a lot of moody songs and we made fun of those songs. At one point one friend sang a Garth Brooks song and I stood in front of him and quasi directed him. I am not sure what I was doing but at the end he was like "I felt like I had a coach" and I said "You are welcome!"
By 1 a.m., I knew it was time to head home and take off my outfit of shame. I grabbed a taxi with a friend and by 1:30 a.m., I was in bed and listening to the students upstairs throw a rave. It was an epic night and I feel like it was a great send off to summer. Thanks G.G. for the amazing party and happy birthday! Hope you like the karaoke machine! Heh. We are all coming over soon and this time I will sing. Maybe. Maybe not. Maybe some Taylor Swift. And as I end this post, I want to wish you all a fantastic Sunday. I need to now watch the end of Formula One. Kimi sounds pissed! I will spend the rest of the day with the Kid and to stop him from eating everything I try to eat (I am excited about this development. But I am also hungry). In the evening I will watch Pretty Little Liars and start on my voodoo doll. Speaking of Halloweeny stuff, yesterday I broke out the fog machine because I wanted to test out the Youtube tutorial about making your fog stay on the ground. I got a little too excited and suddenly the whole apartment looked like a scene from Backdraft.
The Husband was not amused. Every year, around this time, I start doing stupid shit. Like the one time I stained the tub when I tried to dye fabric. Or the time I flushed meat balls down the toilet. The Husband sees his quite capable and independent wife turn into a toddler. Good times! So, once again, Happy Sunday!
Why yes, I do look like a lady of the night. Or maybe the lady of the early bird special and Bingo. The party was kicking off at 5 at the Ritz Carlton roof top bar. I realized when I was en route that I was going to be early (BECAUSE I AM ALWAYS EARLY!) and wrote on the party page "I am going to be about 15 minutes early so someone please be there because I look like a prostitute!" and one friend responded with "Well, then, a rich Russian might buy you are drink." and I responded with "No, he will just tell me I am blocking the view." I walked into the Ritz Carlton and tried to look not like a hooker and went straight to the elevators to take me to the roof top bar. I felt incredibly awkward in my get up and I walked up to the guy at the desk and said with fake confidence "Yes, hello. Reservation for G.G." and he looked at the reservation list and said "No. I am sorry. There is no reservation in that name." and I wanted to die a little so then I said "It's a reservation for about 15 people." and he said "No. Sorry." and I was on the verge of throwing myself off the roof top terrace. I then said in panic "I'm here for a theme party! THAT'S WHY I LOOK LIKE A HOOKER! AHAHAHAH" and laughed maniacally. Poor guy looked at me and was like "I see. I mean no. I mean.." he was obviously torn between complimenting me on my look but not calling a guest a tramp whore. I finally said "Ok, I am just going to call my friend and figure this out." So I called her and she told me she hadn't reserved because there is a "minimum drink" thingy and I thanked her and hung up and said to the guy "My now ex-friend didn't make a reservation. May I take that table over there?" and I tried to walk with as much dignity as I could past the Polo shirt clad guests. I ordered a glass of Chateau blah blah and waited for the others. Luckily only a few minutes passed and suddenly we had to try and convince them to put three tables together to accommodate all of us. I turned to one of my Canadian friends and said to him "Hey. Let's be Canadian and avoid conflict and go stand at one of the high tables over there." Luckily everyone got a seat and we drank and talked for an hour and then it was time to head to our next stop.
As we exited the Ritz Carlton, a group of very rich tourists piled out of a van carrying many many bags from Primark. The juxtaposition made me laugh and I gave them all a mental high five. We walked on the Ring to our next stop, a group of giddy adults, ready for dinner and hopefully slightly cheaper drinks. We showed up at the Hotel Trieste on Wiedner Hauptstrasse and loudly entered the hotel lobby. We made our way to the gorgeous restaurant courtyard (restaurant COLLIO, not COOLIO which I originally thought was the name and I was a little disappointed when I found out I was wrong) where a long table was set beautifully. I said "This is like a magazine photo shoot! This is like something out of Pinterest!" We took our seats, had some pink champagne and see, it looked just like a magazine photo shoot!
It was a set menu and we started off with a caprese salad which was actually pretty spectacular! At our end of the table we spied a couple tucked away in the corner. The woman was mostly plastic and I thought she looked pretty amazing. Her gentleman friend looked... kind. We came to the consensus that she might have been a mail order bride. We are assholes. At one point she went to the bathroom and one male friend said "Who even finds that attractive?! Would you ever do that?" he asked me. And without pause I answered "If I had enough money then yes!" And then I said "And that is the type of woman my husband will most likely leave me for." and he said "But she probably can't even string a sentence together." and I said "That's probably her selling point!" I moved onto red wine and soon it was time for our next course which was grilled meat. SO MUCH GRILLED MEAT! They placed sides on the table: roasted potato wedges, grilled eggplant and zucchini, baked polenta and incredibly bright sauces that we couldn't stop commenting on. I don't know what was in the food but were were all incredibly giddy and I said "This is perfect! Why, this is just a PERFECT NIGHT! WHAT A WAY TO END SUMMER! PERFECT!" Our waiter was also completely on fire and we all commented on his ability to notice just when we were about to finish a drink. I blame this man for my slight hangover today. But I salute his skill.
After dinner we had some more drinks and I continued to say "This is perfect! Why, this is just a PERFECT NIGHT! WHAT A WAY TO END SUMMER! PERFECT!" Around 10:30, the bill was paid and we all made our way to the Ubahn station to make our way to the Karaoke bar Lemmon by Schwedenplatz. I'm not much of a singer (I make angels cry... in pain) but I like this Karaoke bar because there is no stage and you can literally sit at the bar and sing and nobody judges you. As we waited for the Ubahn, a large bachelor party walked by. The poor groom was dressed as a bottle of Budweiser. I thought he was dressed up as a hot dog. Oh well. He had a basket filled with mini bottles of schnapps and he was charging a euro a bottle. Not bad! Drinks for only 10 of my friends, please! We exited at Schwedenplatz and half the group stopped for ice cream and the other half looked for a bank machine. We regrouped and luckily were able to find space in the very packed bar. And look at that, there was a bachelorette party! Actually, there seemed to be two but I didn't care because I got a seat at the bar and my spritzer in record time. People sang, we sang along, there were a lot of moody songs and we made fun of those songs. At one point one friend sang a Garth Brooks song and I stood in front of him and quasi directed him. I am not sure what I was doing but at the end he was like "I felt like I had a coach" and I said "You are welcome!"
By 1 a.m., I knew it was time to head home and take off my outfit of shame. I grabbed a taxi with a friend and by 1:30 a.m., I was in bed and listening to the students upstairs throw a rave. It was an epic night and I feel like it was a great send off to summer. Thanks G.G. for the amazing party and happy birthday! Hope you like the karaoke machine! Heh. We are all coming over soon and this time I will sing. Maybe. Maybe not. Maybe some Taylor Swift. And as I end this post, I want to wish you all a fantastic Sunday. I need to now watch the end of Formula One. Kimi sounds pissed! I will spend the rest of the day with the Kid and to stop him from eating everything I try to eat (I am excited about this development. But I am also hungry). In the evening I will watch Pretty Little Liars and start on my voodoo doll. Speaking of Halloweeny stuff, yesterday I broke out the fog machine because I wanted to test out the Youtube tutorial about making your fog stay on the ground. I got a little too excited and suddenly the whole apartment looked like a scene from Backdraft.
The Husband was not amused. Every year, around this time, I start doing stupid shit. Like the one time I stained the tub when I tried to dye fabric. Or the time I flushed meat balls down the toilet. The Husband sees his quite capable and independent wife turn into a toddler. Good times! So, once again, Happy Sunday!
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