A Little Self Love
That title sounds absolutely horrific. Sorry. But yes, right now I am about a little self love. For what seems like a year (actually probably really over a year), I feel like I have been running on a combination of caffeine and endorphins and sheer vengeance (I'm not a saint. I have a lot of people to prove wrong.) trying to get things done. On Wednesday is the big fundraiser and while I am incredibly excited, I am also incredibly nervous. People who really know me well, know that I am actually a bit of an introvert. I am comfortable in crowds but not comfortable in front of crowds. I am loud, I am out going, but I get twitchy when I have to be the center of attention. Now... I love attention, but not a lot of attention. But definitely some. I am a difficult person, this I know.
I wrote about this a long long time ago but I will rehash it here. I only want to get attention for something I feel like I have earned. This is why I stay up until 2 a.m. making marzipan covered cakes with intricate flowers and when someone says "My God! That's gorgeous!" I tend to go a deep red (under layers of foundation) and stutter "This? No, it was nothing. Really." Compliments are hard for me. When the Husband and I had our renewal of vows 8 years ago, I loved the planning, I loved my dress, but when it was time for me to walk down the aisle and stand in front of all the guests, I wanted to die. And I ended up staring down at the ground throughout the ceremony.
It was a quiet weekend and the Kid was fantastic. I think he was mostly bored over the Christmas holidays and now that he is back at Kindergarten, he is a lot happier. He has an audience. He gets to shine. I completed a few necklaces and bracelets and wrestled with some self tanner. Saturday evening did not turn out the way I expected but in the end, I learned a lesson and that is always important. Unfortunately that lesson ended up leading to more beer. I let myself get too excited about things, open myself too much when I shouldn't. I need to guard myself better and that is sad but at this point in my life, I cannot keep allowing myself to be let down. It isn't anybody's fault but my own because I think that a lot of people misread me and think I want more, when really, I am just looking to laugh and talk. And I am just so grateful for the incredible people in my life who put up with me. Just the other day I was having a conversation with a friend and we were discussing happy and optimistic people and she said: "Gah! They are so annoying!" and I responded with "But I am optimistic and happy!" and she said "But you aren't that annoying." and I said "Thank you. That is one of the nicest things you have ever said to me." and she responded with "I mean, you are batshit crazy, but you aren't annoying." Bless. Second nicest thing she has ever said to me. Long story short, a lesson was learned, I cried a little, and now I am moving on.
So speaking of self love, now I have a day off tomorrow and I could cry from excitement! Tonight a friend is coming by to help do some crafty things. I am making pasta for dinner because day 21 veganism. AMAZING! Tomorrow morning I will drop the Kid off at kindergarten and then I will watch Murder She Wrote and read celebrity gossip. In the afternoon I will be picking up another raffle prize and then will meet a friend for a drink and then head to the Gasometer for the film premiere of Hidden Figures. The Science Ball is hosting this event and I cannot wait! Speaking of the Science Ball, get your tickets while you can. I cannot wait! Like last year, a girlfriend and I will be getting our hair and make up done at my place and then we will head to the ball. Did I mention that I CANNOT WAIT? Too much caffeine... I am feel like a wind up doll. Anyway, I better run. I hope that you all have a fantastic day and stay tuned for more stories! Toodles!
I wrote about this a long long time ago but I will rehash it here. I only want to get attention for something I feel like I have earned. This is why I stay up until 2 a.m. making marzipan covered cakes with intricate flowers and when someone says "My God! That's gorgeous!" I tend to go a deep red (under layers of foundation) and stutter "This? No, it was nothing. Really." Compliments are hard for me. When the Husband and I had our renewal of vows 8 years ago, I loved the planning, I loved my dress, but when it was time for me to walk down the aisle and stand in front of all the guests, I wanted to die. And I ended up staring down at the ground throughout the ceremony.
It was a quiet weekend and the Kid was fantastic. I think he was mostly bored over the Christmas holidays and now that he is back at Kindergarten, he is a lot happier. He has an audience. He gets to shine. I completed a few necklaces and bracelets and wrestled with some self tanner. Saturday evening did not turn out the way I expected but in the end, I learned a lesson and that is always important. Unfortunately that lesson ended up leading to more beer. I let myself get too excited about things, open myself too much when I shouldn't. I need to guard myself better and that is sad but at this point in my life, I cannot keep allowing myself to be let down. It isn't anybody's fault but my own because I think that a lot of people misread me and think I want more, when really, I am just looking to laugh and talk. And I am just so grateful for the incredible people in my life who put up with me. Just the other day I was having a conversation with a friend and we were discussing happy and optimistic people and she said: "Gah! They are so annoying!" and I responded with "But I am optimistic and happy!" and she said "But you aren't that annoying." and I said "Thank you. That is one of the nicest things you have ever said to me." and she responded with "I mean, you are batshit crazy, but you aren't annoying." Bless. Second nicest thing she has ever said to me. Long story short, a lesson was learned, I cried a little, and now I am moving on.
So speaking of self love, now I have a day off tomorrow and I could cry from excitement! Tonight a friend is coming by to help do some crafty things. I am making pasta for dinner because day 21 veganism. AMAZING! Tomorrow morning I will drop the Kid off at kindergarten and then I will watch Murder She Wrote and read celebrity gossip. In the afternoon I will be picking up another raffle prize and then will meet a friend for a drink and then head to the Gasometer for the film premiere of Hidden Figures. The Science Ball is hosting this event and I cannot wait! Speaking of the Science Ball, get your tickets while you can. I cannot wait! Like last year, a girlfriend and I will be getting our hair and make up done at my place and then we will head to the ball. Did I mention that I CANNOT WAIT? Too much caffeine... I am feel like a wind up doll. Anyway, I better run. I hope that you all have a fantastic day and stay tuned for more stories! Toodles!
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