Kid Shows I Hate
Wowza I was not in a good mood this morning. I blame it partly on the dream where I thought I was pregnant again and started dry heaving in my sleep. Awesomeness. When I woke up and got dressed, I made the mistake of trying on a dress that I had bought months ago and hadn't yet tried on and it didn't fit.. well, it fit but in the same way bike shorts fit, and yet you shouldn't wear them out. And so the spiral of despair started and the Kid tried to lick my perfume bottles and when mama ain't happy, ain't nobody happy. Sigh.
Only recently has the Kid started watching cartoons. Not because we are great parents who made a decision to limit tv time, but because he just wasn't interested. Now, well now he has a few favourites and both the Husband and I hate them, hate them all. Let's start with Caillou.
Caillou. Bald and whiny. Why is he bald? Is he sick? His younger sister has hair. Are his parents extra nice to this kid because he has some weird disease? Because honestly, the kid's a hack. Suck it, Caillou.
Dora. Dora is an explorer. An explorer with sight problems (why can't you see that damn blueberry patch right behind you, you stupid stupid girl) and "friend" monkey who wears boots. I think Dora is in the midst of LSD flashbacks. Seriously. Her backpack sings. I hate that motherloving backpack. And the map, too. Conceited jerk. And another thing, Dora is a prime example of what a bad haircut can do to you. There was one episode where she meets this Snow Princess who is supposed to look exactly like Dora but this princess has great hair and looks like a million times better. Get thee to a stylist Dora. It would do wonders.
Diego. Diego is Dora's cousin and the show is a million times better than Dora the Explorer. But this is my beef. Why does the boy (Diego) get an awesome job at an animal rescue retreat? He's got gadgets and awesome tools and gets to go and save a stupid parrot stuck on a cliff. Meanwhile Dora is expected to come down from her drug trip alone with an imaginary monkey wearing boots. Sexism my friends.
Wonder Pets. A chick, a guinea pig and a turtle go around the world saving animals. They sing, they sing all the time. And they sing like I sing when I am trying to get the Kid to do something he doesn't want to do. "lalala... we are going to get out of the bath. lalalala... it will be cold and you will be miserable... lalalala.. but then I will put you in your pj's and throw you into bed ...lalalalaaaaaa!" It just isn't good. I hate those 3 animals... hate them with a passion. It's like hanging out with amateur theater people who acted in one high school play and they played a tree. A mute tree. You can't sing, let it go.
Thank the deities it is Friday. My annoyance, it oozes.
Only recently has the Kid started watching cartoons. Not because we are great parents who made a decision to limit tv time, but because he just wasn't interested. Now, well now he has a few favourites and both the Husband and I hate them, hate them all. Let's start with Caillou.
Caillou. Bald and whiny. Why is he bald? Is he sick? His younger sister has hair. Are his parents extra nice to this kid because he has some weird disease? Because honestly, the kid's a hack. Suck it, Caillou.
Dora. Dora is an explorer. An explorer with sight problems (why can't you see that damn blueberry patch right behind you, you stupid stupid girl) and "friend" monkey who wears boots. I think Dora is in the midst of LSD flashbacks. Seriously. Her backpack sings. I hate that motherloving backpack. And the map, too. Conceited jerk. And another thing, Dora is a prime example of what a bad haircut can do to you. There was one episode where she meets this Snow Princess who is supposed to look exactly like Dora but this princess has great hair and looks like a million times better. Get thee to a stylist Dora. It would do wonders.
Diego. Diego is Dora's cousin and the show is a million times better than Dora the Explorer. But this is my beef. Why does the boy (Diego) get an awesome job at an animal rescue retreat? He's got gadgets and awesome tools and gets to go and save a stupid parrot stuck on a cliff. Meanwhile Dora is expected to come down from her drug trip alone with an imaginary monkey wearing boots. Sexism my friends.
Wonder Pets. A chick, a guinea pig and a turtle go around the world saving animals. They sing, they sing all the time. And they sing like I sing when I am trying to get the Kid to do something he doesn't want to do. "lalala... we are going to get out of the bath. lalalala... it will be cold and you will be miserable... lalalala.. but then I will put you in your pj's and throw you into bed ...lalalalaaaaaa!" It just isn't good. I hate those 3 animals... hate them with a passion. It's like hanging out with amateur theater people who acted in one high school play and they played a tree. A mute tree. You can't sing, let it go.
Thank the deities it is Friday. My annoyance, it oozes.
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