Things That I Have Found Out About Recently
I love to find out new things. I've realized that as I have gotten older that I am not really as clever as I thought I was at 20. Actually, I never really considered myself to be all that smart but I had extensive knowledge about all things Romantic Comedies and World War II history. As I have aged, I have come to the conclusion that it is just fine to not know everything. Sure, I have had some embarrassing moments but I've taken them in stride because I know my knowledge of all things reality TV makes me the Henry Kissinger of Bravo TV... sans the hipster glasses.
An example of my idiocy has come in a couple of forms. A recent example was at work when I was reading with a friend. I came across the word "awry" and pronounced it as "awww-reeee". She handled it with class:
"Did you just pronounce "awry" like "awww-reee"? OMG! YOU ARE SO STUPID! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" and then she paused to take a deep breath "AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA"
"Shut your WHORE MOUTH!" I replied with matching class.
Another example was when I had first moved to Vienna. The Husband and I were watching skiing and the presenter kept mentioning how great the slopes were in Borneo. Or at least I thought he had said Borneo. I cannot begin to describe how long and hard I stared at the screen in confusion. I thought to myself "Well, Europeans are allover the world and there are those German towns in Brazil so maybe this is some weird alpine town on a tropical island. There could be mountains on Borneo. Right? Oh God, I am so confused. Keep watching the race Tova and think hard." At the end, I turned to the Husband and said "Wow! We should head to Borneo for the beach AND skiing!" He looked at me and I could see in his face that he was thinking "I swear she was smarter when I married her" and he took a deep breath and said out loud "That was BORMEO you saw... not BORNEO!"
I've gotten a few of those aboved-mentioned looks from the Husband over the years. Like the time I tried to argue that Kenya (where he was born and raised) was actually a landlocked country because I had never seen a lion OR a giraffe on a beach. Yeah, I got a globe for Christmas that year. Stupid world and its stupid geography.
So yes, it's fun to learn new things. And here are some things I have learned recently!
The hook outside our door in our new apartment: I have to thank our guest A. from our Halloween party. He is a walking encyclopedia and I knew that he would know what the hell the purpose of this hook was. I dragged him into the hallway to show him. I had initially thought it was a hook for wreaths, then I changed my mind and decided that it was for holding newspapers and the Husband thought it was some badly constructed door knocker. Well, turns out it is for a coat and hat for when it is raining and you don't want to get your floor all wet. Brilliant! I use it for my wreaths.
My office mate and I share the same birthday: This was pretty mind-blowing yesterday. We were talking about being old and decrepit and I mentioned that I was born February 11th, 1981 and he was thinking that I was trolling him because he was all like "NO WAY! My birthday is February 11th!" and I thought he was trolling me because I was like "NO WAY!" and then I demanded to see some ID and lo and behold, we are birthday twins! MIND BLOWN!
Now, normal people would have believed each other initially but we are currently trying to out troll each other so there is no trust in our friendship. I'm to blame. I totally started it. He had mentioned he had repressed a scene from Game of Thrones because it was too gross. So I sought out a friend who does watch it and who tells me what happens on each episode and I then asked her to remind me about the grossest scene ever and so I headed back to our office and while my office mate was on the phone I did thumb pressy down pushe eyeballs into skull movements and then laughed and laughed and laughed when I saw his memory had been jogged.
But my victory was short lived. We had this conversation yesterday:
Him: Ew!
Me: What?!?
Him: Katie Melua just had a spider removed from her ear!
Me: Ew! WHAT?!?
Him: It lived there for a week and all she heard was some rustling.
Me: Ew!!!
Him: Ew! I just read something even worse found in someone's ear!
Me: Grosser than a spider?
Him: Yes.
Me: What's grosser than a spider? Earwig?
Him: No.
Me: Cockroach?
Him: No.
Me: What's grosser than all of the above?!?!
Him: Maggots.
Me: DAMMIT!
So we are currently even... for now.
The elevator stopped on our floor: Solving the mystery of this is a minor victory for someone like me. We live on the Mezzanine and we use the elevator when the Kid is in his stroller. Otherwise it is just a short flight up to our apartment. Every morning, when I head out for my early morning walks, I have noticed that the elevator is stopped on our floor and this bugs me. It's not rational, I know, but I have wondered who the hell has taken the elevator up one floor in the middle of the night. Who does this? WHO?!?! I briefly considered purchasing a webcam to catch the culprit. But my question was answered last week. It's the guy who delivers newspapers. He takes it to the top floor and then heads down to our floor for a drop-off and then walks the rest of the steps down. I feel better knowing this. I really really do. And now I can cross off "lazy serial killer" from my list of things to worry about. Oy vay. I need help.
So there you have it. Some things I have found out about recently. I better finish this up. Melrose Place is starting soon. The Husband is watching football (soccer) which is a very nice change from the usual Judge Judy episodes. Now don't get me wrong, I have love for her. The Husband apparently does as well. I think that perhaps she reminds him of his life with me; a short, angry Jew in black, yelling at him.
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| Dammit, Tova! I do not deserve to be mentioned in the same line talking about Bravo TV. Shame on you. |
An example of my idiocy has come in a couple of forms. A recent example was at work when I was reading with a friend. I came across the word "awry" and pronounced it as "awww-reeee". She handled it with class:
"Did you just pronounce "awry" like "awww-reee"? OMG! YOU ARE SO STUPID! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" and then she paused to take a deep breath "AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA"
"Shut your WHORE MOUTH!" I replied with matching class.
Another example was when I had first moved to Vienna. The Husband and I were watching skiing and the presenter kept mentioning how great the slopes were in Borneo. Or at least I thought he had said Borneo. I cannot begin to describe how long and hard I stared at the screen in confusion. I thought to myself "Well, Europeans are allover the world and there are those German towns in Brazil so maybe this is some weird alpine town on a tropical island. There could be mountains on Borneo. Right? Oh God, I am so confused. Keep watching the race Tova and think hard." At the end, I turned to the Husband and said "Wow! We should head to Borneo for the beach AND skiing!" He looked at me and I could see in his face that he was thinking "I swear she was smarter when I married her" and he took a deep breath and said out loud "That was BORMEO you saw... not BORNEO!"
I've gotten a few of those aboved-mentioned looks from the Husband over the years. Like the time I tried to argue that Kenya (where he was born and raised) was actually a landlocked country because I had never seen a lion OR a giraffe on a beach. Yeah, I got a globe for Christmas that year. Stupid world and its stupid geography.
So yes, it's fun to learn new things. And here are some things I have learned recently!
The hook outside our door in our new apartment: I have to thank our guest A. from our Halloween party. He is a walking encyclopedia and I knew that he would know what the hell the purpose of this hook was. I dragged him into the hallway to show him. I had initially thought it was a hook for wreaths, then I changed my mind and decided that it was for holding newspapers and the Husband thought it was some badly constructed door knocker. Well, turns out it is for a coat and hat for when it is raining and you don't want to get your floor all wet. Brilliant! I use it for my wreaths.
My office mate and I share the same birthday: This was pretty mind-blowing yesterday. We were talking about being old and decrepit and I mentioned that I was born February 11th, 1981 and he was thinking that I was trolling him because he was all like "NO WAY! My birthday is February 11th!" and I thought he was trolling me because I was like "NO WAY!" and then I demanded to see some ID and lo and behold, we are birthday twins! MIND BLOWN!
Now, normal people would have believed each other initially but we are currently trying to out troll each other so there is no trust in our friendship. I'm to blame. I totally started it. He had mentioned he had repressed a scene from Game of Thrones because it was too gross. So I sought out a friend who does watch it and who tells me what happens on each episode and I then asked her to remind me about the grossest scene ever and so I headed back to our office and while my office mate was on the phone I did thumb pressy down pushe eyeballs into skull movements and then laughed and laughed and laughed when I saw his memory had been jogged.
But my victory was short lived. We had this conversation yesterday:
Him: Ew!
Me: What?!?
Him: Katie Melua just had a spider removed from her ear!
Me: Ew! WHAT?!?
Him: It lived there for a week and all she heard was some rustling.
Me: Ew!!!
Him: Ew! I just read something even worse found in someone's ear!
Me: Grosser than a spider?
Him: Yes.
Me: What's grosser than a spider? Earwig?
Him: No.
Me: Cockroach?
Him: No.
Me: What's grosser than all of the above?!?!
Him: Maggots.
Me: DAMMIT!
So we are currently even... for now.
The elevator stopped on our floor: Solving the mystery of this is a minor victory for someone like me. We live on the Mezzanine and we use the elevator when the Kid is in his stroller. Otherwise it is just a short flight up to our apartment. Every morning, when I head out for my early morning walks, I have noticed that the elevator is stopped on our floor and this bugs me. It's not rational, I know, but I have wondered who the hell has taken the elevator up one floor in the middle of the night. Who does this? WHO?!?! I briefly considered purchasing a webcam to catch the culprit. But my question was answered last week. It's the guy who delivers newspapers. He takes it to the top floor and then heads down to our floor for a drop-off and then walks the rest of the steps down. I feel better knowing this. I really really do. And now I can cross off "lazy serial killer" from my list of things to worry about. Oy vay. I need help.
So there you have it. Some things I have found out about recently. I better finish this up. Melrose Place is starting soon. The Husband is watching football (soccer) which is a very nice change from the usual Judge Judy episodes. Now don't get me wrong, I have love for her. The Husband apparently does as well. I think that perhaps she reminds him of his life with me; a short, angry Jew in black, yelling at him.
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