Friday Wrap-Up
Hola everybody! It is Friday night and I am in my sweats, currently enjoying a cranberry vodka because Mommy can't drink yeast. Ugh. Pity party for one. Or not... because I am enjoying cranberry juice WITH vodka. When life gives you something uncomfortable, you switch to vodka... and cranberry juice. I think you get what I am saying. I couldn't BE more obvious.
It has been a hectic week and I am still all angtsy for my "exciting news" to happen officially so that I can brag and brag. But I will be patient. Where's my drink? This week was a bit of blur with a lot of annoying whining on my part. And it was also filled with a lot of laughter. So here is a bit of a re-cap using keywords again.
Cellphone: Son of a bitch! My alarm didn't go off again. I overslept. This is the second time in a few weeks and it has thrown me for a loop. I do not OVERSLEEP! My normal time for arising from my coffin is 5 a.m.
On Tuesday morning, I woke up with a start. I looked at my cellphone and saw that it was 2:35 a.m. I shrugged and looked outside and thought "Is it summer in the arctic because it sure is bright out there?" and I made my way to the kitchen to make some milk for the Kid in case he woke up before 5. I kept thinking how well rested I felt. La la la la. I made the milk and thought "That's odd. Birds are singing." shrug. La la la la. And then I looked at the microwave clock and screamed. It was 7:10. I overslept by 2 hours. MotherLOVER!
I started swearing "Fuck! Fuck! FUCK!!!" and the Husband yelled back "What?!? WHAT?!?!" and I exclaimed "I AM LATE!" and more swearing happened and then I turned my rage onto the Husband "WHY DIDN'T YOUR ALARM GO OFF?!? WHY?!?!?" and he responded with "My alarm is set for 7:15" and just at that moment, his alarm went off; like red to a bull that was. And then I yelled "WHAT PERSON WITH A TODDLER SETS HIS ALARM FOR 7:15?!? WHY?! OH GOD! I AM SO LAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAATTTEE!" So yeah, he got an apology e-mail a couple of hours later. Stupid phone that froze. Stupid stupid. Buying an alarm clock tomorrow.
The night of the living toddler: Tuesday night must have been some type of weird eclipse thing. I don't know what happened but let's just say I got about 3 hours of sleep. The evening went well. The Kid went to bed at 7:15. He fell asleep 15 minutes later. The Husband and I watched some TV and just when Melrose Place ended, we heard the ominous noise that is a toddler making his way out of his room. He didn't complain or make noise but rather went straight to our bed. We shrugged and headed to bed as well. And then the whispering started. Non-stop whispering. I don't know what kind of possession he was experiencing but there is nothing quite as creepy as a toddler whispering at 2 in the morning. Finally at three, he fell asleep for 3 hours. I have no idea how all three of us functioned the next day. And let me just add, the Husband got another apology e-mail on Wednesday. I say mean things in the middle of the night.
Words I can't pronounce: So the other week I mentioned the fact that I can't pronounce "awry" and my friend literally called me stupid and I have to agree with her. Just this week I once again proved my not so smartness. I pronounced "Orion" like "Oreon" and not "O'Ryan". This led to lots and lots of mocking with a visit to Google Translate to make sure I was stupid. And since we are both in our thirties and always professional, we decided to make Google Translate say "poop". Oh the laughter. And because I can't be the only stupid person, I tried to find a bunch of words to trip her up. Chipotle. I love you. And by the way, we've all been pronouncing Dr. Seuss wrong. It is Dr. Soiss. Little known fact: Oh the Places You'll Go was originally Oh the Places You'll Go... After I Kick Your Ass For Once Again Mispronouncing My Name. Other little know fact; I made that earlier little known fact up.
13 years: The Husband and I celebrated our 13 years of togetherness. Wow! I was a brat because we didn't got out for dinner. And I was very obnoxious. And yes, I know how lucky I am to have such a great man who still talks to me and doesn't want to smother me with a pillow every night. He got an apology e-mail this morning so all is fine. Until our wedding anniversary in January.
And so I come to the end of my very random post. I have a busy weekend planned. Tomorrow morning will be an early morning walk with my friend. At 9 I have a meeting. At 1 I am taking the Kid to an indoor playground and shoot me in the head. And in the evening I am going out for dinner. On Sunday we are having a couple of friends over for a late lunch and I will probably need another weekend after this one. Upcoming post: my re-cap of the Arnie classic; Jingle All the Way. Aren't y'all lucky!
It has been a hectic week and I am still all angtsy for my "exciting news" to happen officially so that I can brag and brag. But I will be patient. Where's my drink? This week was a bit of blur with a lot of annoying whining on my part. And it was also filled with a lot of laughter. So here is a bit of a re-cap using keywords again.
Cellphone: Son of a bitch! My alarm didn't go off again. I overslept. This is the second time in a few weeks and it has thrown me for a loop. I do not OVERSLEEP! My normal time for arising from my coffin is 5 a.m.
On Tuesday morning, I woke up with a start. I looked at my cellphone and saw that it was 2:35 a.m. I shrugged and looked outside and thought "Is it summer in the arctic because it sure is bright out there?" and I made my way to the kitchen to make some milk for the Kid in case he woke up before 5. I kept thinking how well rested I felt. La la la la. I made the milk and thought "That's odd. Birds are singing." shrug. La la la la. And then I looked at the microwave clock and screamed. It was 7:10. I overslept by 2 hours. MotherLOVER!
I started swearing "Fuck! Fuck! FUCK!!!" and the Husband yelled back "What?!? WHAT?!?!" and I exclaimed "I AM LATE!" and more swearing happened and then I turned my rage onto the Husband "WHY DIDN'T YOUR ALARM GO OFF?!? WHY?!?!?" and he responded with "My alarm is set for 7:15" and just at that moment, his alarm went off; like red to a bull that was. And then I yelled "WHAT PERSON WITH A TODDLER SETS HIS ALARM FOR 7:15?!? WHY?! OH GOD! I AM SO LAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAATTTEE!" So yeah, he got an apology e-mail a couple of hours later. Stupid phone that froze. Stupid stupid. Buying an alarm clock tomorrow.
The night of the living toddler: Tuesday night must have been some type of weird eclipse thing. I don't know what happened but let's just say I got about 3 hours of sleep. The evening went well. The Kid went to bed at 7:15. He fell asleep 15 minutes later. The Husband and I watched some TV and just when Melrose Place ended, we heard the ominous noise that is a toddler making his way out of his room. He didn't complain or make noise but rather went straight to our bed. We shrugged and headed to bed as well. And then the whispering started. Non-stop whispering. I don't know what kind of possession he was experiencing but there is nothing quite as creepy as a toddler whispering at 2 in the morning. Finally at three, he fell asleep for 3 hours. I have no idea how all three of us functioned the next day. And let me just add, the Husband got another apology e-mail on Wednesday. I say mean things in the middle of the night.
Words I can't pronounce: So the other week I mentioned the fact that I can't pronounce "awry" and my friend literally called me stupid and I have to agree with her. Just this week I once again proved my not so smartness. I pronounced "Orion" like "Oreon" and not "O'Ryan". This led to lots and lots of mocking with a visit to Google Translate to make sure I was stupid. And since we are both in our thirties and always professional, we decided to make Google Translate say "poop". Oh the laughter. And because I can't be the only stupid person, I tried to find a bunch of words to trip her up. Chipotle. I love you. And by the way, we've all been pronouncing Dr. Seuss wrong. It is Dr. Soiss. Little known fact: Oh the Places You'll Go was originally Oh the Places You'll Go... After I Kick Your Ass For Once Again Mispronouncing My Name. Other little know fact; I made that earlier little known fact up.
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| Say my name, bitch. |
13 years: The Husband and I celebrated our 13 years of togetherness. Wow! I was a brat because we didn't got out for dinner. And I was very obnoxious. And yes, I know how lucky I am to have such a great man who still talks to me and doesn't want to smother me with a pillow every night. He got an apology e-mail this morning so all is fine. Until our wedding anniversary in January.
And so I come to the end of my very random post. I have a busy weekend planned. Tomorrow morning will be an early morning walk with my friend. At 9 I have a meeting. At 1 I am taking the Kid to an indoor playground and shoot me in the head. And in the evening I am going out for dinner. On Sunday we are having a couple of friends over for a late lunch and I will probably need another weekend after this one. Upcoming post: my re-cap of the Arnie classic; Jingle All the Way. Aren't y'all lucky!
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