The Importance of Not Being Jealous
In my twenties I was pretty jealous. I'm not talking about love jealousy... The Husband knows I would cut him if he strayed and well, one can be jealous all they like but that does not stop the other person from straying. I prefer to keep my list of neuroses manageable. I am talking about the jealousy of other people's good fortune. Friend got a new purse/ hot boyfriend/ great apartment/ great job - I was all "that is not fair!!!" and I would stamp my foot like the mature adult I was. I truly believed the universe was gifting people at random and that hard work had nothing to do with getting great things. "So what if she worked 14 hour days as an intern, while studying every night! It's not fair she got that incredible job!!!". The jealousy was pretty all consuming and I truly hated myself for it. So I came up with a plan, wait for it, to just stop being jealous. BRILLIANT! And you know what, it worked.
Whenever someone tells me a story of their friend who recently flew on a unicorn to Bora Bora with Johnny Depp or someone got a new pair of really nice shoes, I sit back, I take a slow breath and ask "But are they really happy?" This has turned more into my stock joke phrase but at the beginning, that truly helped me get through my toddleriffic tantrums of jealousy. It has been almost a decade since that time and I have realized how much more at peace I am to not have the urge to cut someone because something great has happened to them. And you know what, the happier I am for others, the happier I am... smug...but happy.
Remember the kids you went to school with? The ones with always the latest, coolest, expensive things and how cool and expensive the kids looked? Yeah, that made me jealous. But looking back now, I realize that a lot of these kids had absent parents and their cool stuff was the stuff of guilt. Don't you remember the mom from Can't Buy Me Love? She was absent, that's why Cindy Mancini borrowed her white leather jacket and then Ronald was all like "Lemme buy you, bitch" and well, you know... So anyway, all I'm trying to say is that there is always something behind that fabulous purse, fabulous apartment or fabulous job.
And speaking of jealousy, remember to be proud of your friends. I am not jealous of my friends because I truly enjoy their successes (because I expect a percentage of their payout in the future. I jest, kind of). I don't buy into the whole schadenfreude thing because, I think, why are they your friends? You should never ever want to see your close friend suffer. It is now such a foreign concept to me. And no, I ain't a saint, I just have made a very conscious decision to be happy for others and actually, selfishly, that makes me happier. The only time I get riled up is when good things happen to bad people... I have to then say to myself that karma will one day get them and of course, the quote I mentioned months ago from a dear friend "Happy people aren't mean", That always gets me through the day.
So go on, rid yourself of jealousy and you will be pretty amazed how other people will be jealous of you! Muhahaha.. Circle of life, my friends.
Whenever someone tells me a story of their friend who recently flew on a unicorn to Bora Bora with Johnny Depp or someone got a new pair of really nice shoes, I sit back, I take a slow breath and ask "But are they really happy?" This has turned more into my stock joke phrase but at the beginning, that truly helped me get through my toddleriffic tantrums of jealousy. It has been almost a decade since that time and I have realized how much more at peace I am to not have the urge to cut someone because something great has happened to them. And you know what, the happier I am for others, the happier I am... smug...but happy.
Remember the kids you went to school with? The ones with always the latest, coolest, expensive things and how cool and expensive the kids looked? Yeah, that made me jealous. But looking back now, I realize that a lot of these kids had absent parents and their cool stuff was the stuff of guilt. Don't you remember the mom from Can't Buy Me Love? She was absent, that's why Cindy Mancini borrowed her white leather jacket and then Ronald was all like "Lemme buy you, bitch" and well, you know... So anyway, all I'm trying to say is that there is always something behind that fabulous purse, fabulous apartment or fabulous job.
And speaking of jealousy, remember to be proud of your friends. I am not jealous of my friends because I truly enjoy their successes (because I expect a percentage of their payout in the future. I jest, kind of). I don't buy into the whole schadenfreude thing because, I think, why are they your friends? You should never ever want to see your close friend suffer. It is now such a foreign concept to me. And no, I ain't a saint, I just have made a very conscious decision to be happy for others and actually, selfishly, that makes me happier. The only time I get riled up is when good things happen to bad people... I have to then say to myself that karma will one day get them and of course, the quote I mentioned months ago from a dear friend "Happy people aren't mean", That always gets me through the day.
So go on, rid yourself of jealousy and you will be pretty amazed how other people will be jealous of you! Muhahaha.. Circle of life, my friends.
Comments
Post a Comment